Today, while driving, I saw a car pull over with its hazard lights on. I went to see if they needed help, only to see the guy was jerking off to something on his phone. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while I was waiting at a bus stop, a man stopped at the red light and smiled at me. I smiled back. He blew me a kiss and drove away, just as I realized he was masturbating behind the wheel. FML
Today, while on the way to Florida for spring break, I pointed out to my mom a bright blue car in the rear-view mirror. As the car overtook us, we both got a horrifyingly detailed view of the driver jerking off her passenger. FML
Today, I got lost in a car park, late at night, unable to find my car. I started panicking, so I called my dad. I sat down to catch my breath. After about 2 minutes, I heard a noise. I looked up to see a guy jerking off while watching me. He smiled, so I instinctively threw my backpack at his junk and he ran off. FML
Today, after leaving a store I got stuck at a red light. A car pulled up next to me and there was a half retarded man jerking his junk at me. Nasty image burned into my corneas forever. FML
Today, as I was pulling out of my apartment complex, I was rear-ended. When I got out of my car to see how bad the damage was, I wondered why the other guy wasn't getting out of his. As it turns out, he was busy pleasing himself. I found out when I approached his car. FML
Today, I saw a bad car wreck. I pulled over and ran to the car to find an unconscious man behind the wheel. Another car pulled up, and a guy got out. I was relieved to have help, until, to my horror, he started trying to hit on me. I was stuck with him until the ambulance arrived. FML
Today, I was driving when I noticed that the guy in front was on the phone. I pulled up next to him, pulled out my phone and I made a gesture that he needed to put his phone away. It was a cop. I got a ticket for driving while on my cell phone. FML
Today, while I was driving, a pedestrian gesticulated wildly at me for being on my phone. I was just tucking my hair behind my ear. FML
Today, while driving home from work, I saw my boyfriend mugging a woman on the sidewalk. FML
Today, I'd been sat in traffic for about an hour. I've heard stories about people doing the dirty in their cars, and I never do anything risky so I thought, why not, I'll be here a while, no one can see me: I'll masturbate. Midway through, I heard a tap on my driver's window. It was a police officer. FML
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Top comments
IAmzephyr 22
car jacking?
Edward862 7
yeah, I should probably apologize for that.
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Comments (88)
limegreenpoopie 31
Ewwww! You can't unsee that -___-
ironmany_fml 23
ewwwe. can't unsee you
LittleBastard 20
Ewwww you're an asshole! Figuratively, and literally.
Edward862 7
yeah, I should probably apologize for that.
munchly 17
You should be ashamed of yourself!
funsizedliz 16
So.... Did you still help him?
4WheelBurnout 14
Says the girl with semi nudes as her profile picture....
StiffPvtParts 43
Must've been some very juicy **** c:
pauliegon 18
Best comment I've seen on FML
davincidasecond 24
Brain bleach would be a good thing to have after seeing that.
FusionPlacebo 26
That's why I never pull over to see if someone needs help.
Markovski 18
As if that happened to you.
DanCastellaneta 17
Wow, you're not very sharp, are you?
cmarksjr 16
I guess he was helping himself..
theTravinator 21
That's one hell of a joyride
TheBelt 19
Did O.P join?
dragonkisses28 25
So did you help him?
Dillyduzit 23
Sounds like the beginning of a porno.
ironmany_fml 23
look at OP's name... i guess they were willing to 'assist' :P
IAmzephyr 22
car jacking?
Zarokona 9
Perhaps car jerking?
pugpuggy 21
you just ruined the joke!
ZombieSazza 34
Well done, #65, now it's forever unfunny.
insideoutoreo33 8
Boys will be boys
edward80 18
but boys normally don't jerk off in a car
failedgamer01 20
Couldn't he have waited to go home and do it in the privacy of his own house? -_-
SlimDanny 15
Some people's self control is sub par.
RedPillSucks 33
when you gotta cum, you gotta cum.
martin8337 36
Unless 10 other people live there. Then it may be difficult to jack it with no privacy.
the_aspect 28
brain bleach, please. Could he do that in private?