Today, while I was driving home, some jackass in an open-top sports car overtook us and flipped me off. Just as I overtook him in turn, my wife rolled down her window, pulled out her tampon, and launched it at the kid. I'm not sure who was more horrified, me or him. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, a car was tailgating and honking at me while trying to pass me, so I decided to be a bitch back and go extremely slow. We got to a two lane road and the car passed me up. The man in the front seat flipped me off while pointing to his wife in the back seat who was clearly in labor. FML
Today, while driving home, some idiot kept tailgating me, so I slowed down, hoping he'd overtake me. He didn't, so I pulled to the side of the road. He did the same, in front of me. He kept toying with me until I crashed into another car trying to speed away from him. FML
Today, I had a “Fuck you” shouting match with a guy who'd tailgated me in the slow lane through an active school zone. I flipped him off when he finally passed, which admittedly wasn’t my best move. He ended up beside me, windows down, where we verbally sparred like teenagers in a dick swinging contest. Regrettably. FML
Today, I forgot to take my wallet off the roof of my car and drove away, onto the highway. A man behind me began flashing his lights and waving his arms. I thought he was freaking out because I cut him off. I flipped him off. He was trying to tell me that all my money was flying down the road. FML
Today, I was running with two other women when a guy started tailing us in his car and catcalling. I quickly got fed up and gave him the finger. Turns out, he's the husband of one of the women I was running with. For the next half hour, I had to listen to her go on about how adorable he was. She totally saw what I did. FML
Today, while driving home from work, I noticed the driver next to me was happily chatting on her phone. I fucking despise these would-be murderers, so I slammed my horn to signal my disgust. She panicked and swerved straight into my car. FML
Today, I pulled up to a red light. My ex was in the next car, and my car's windows are so tinted that you can't see through them, so I flipped him off. I was driving my mom's car. FML
Today, I was driving when a couple flipped the bird on me before cutting me off, so I flipped them off back. After they'd got away, another driver thought I'd actually been flipping him off and followed me into a parking lot. This guy was huge, and let’s just say he didn’t give me a chance to explain myself. FML
Today, I was in a car accident. After screaming at the woman for running into me, I got in my car and drove off. As I was driving away, I was staring her down when I ended up rear-ending the person in front of me. FML
Today, while driving into work, a guy cut me off and I yelled some nasty things out of my window at him. He heard me, followed me to work, took a baseball bat out and then chased me into the office. He also smashed my windshield on his way out. FML
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Top comments
BobbyBoss 10
Your wife is awesome.
me234 7
Wow she's an enthusiastic one.
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Comments (457)
Stryker123 0
That's not really FML it's just funny as ****!
me234 7
Wow she's an enthusiastic one.
the_anti_hipster 7
You married that, OP. she's a keeper...
lolololer 8
i think what she did may have been extreme but her intention was to defend OP and teach that kid a lesson to not flip off anyone on the road.
beccaishereyay 11
Haha she sounds pretty ballsy. Id be proud if I were you OP
golferman72 16
How is this an fml?! This is awesome!!
ilovesuju 10
LMFAO, that's soo epic
writergirl69 0
YOUR WIFE IS A BADASS
Trisha_aus 15
She's lovely!
shjenn 7
lolol! I woulda pissed myself if I saw that! but that's disgusting! hahaha
bertman21 5
Fuc* the guys life that overtook you. Damn
cheetahbaby96 8
There have been a lot of tampon FMLs the past week haha
Mioko_fml 6
Wait, so did she put another tampon back in while ur driving? Just wondering...and the image of it in my head is...a little weird.
Jonkbaby 23
dump his as!!
Jonkbaby 23
dump his ass!
Meettitan 14
She must also use those missiles with confidence! Those terrorists are tricky. +1 internetz to whoever gets the reference.
challan 19
His wife is my hero.
myth454 2
Jeff Dunham, controlled chaos
CookieGirl4ever 13
117 - that's because all girls on FML have their periods synchronized.
emmagillespie24 11
117 it's just that time of the month- for everyone
NzaHaFML 13
LMAO, an FML never cracked me up this hard. Your wife is epic Op
laxbro183 0
Op's wife is a freak. Who does that even if they were angry.
plum_lovin 28
Are you telling me that she actually threw her used tampon, that she had pulled out while she was in the car...at that kid. Wow. Kool.
halo99 1
189 Jeff Dunham, I got it.
evig_fml 16
You wife is awesome....she has win somewhere in her past.
LolFMLnot 10
Okay, I seriously wanna meet your wife. She sounds awesome
midnightxloner 1
189 - to answer you for a point it is Jeff Dunham with achmid the dead terrorist. Can I has point now?
SarcasticUnicorn 9
GUYS. I was moderating FML's a couple of hours ago, and there was a guy who posted about passing a slow couple and flipping them the bird when- WHOOOSH, a bloody tampon was thrown at him.
curlyfry33 8
I thumbed that down because of you trying to be cool by spelling cool with a K
False_Stupidity 42
If that's the case, I hope the mods allow that one here too.
dominic1221 6
Why would they? It's obviously some random douche writing a fake story from the other point of view just for a laugh. :/
ReesieBanana21 12
Umm.. Ok..?
Cory_FML 5
Right!!
ItsTheMo 10
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
What.
golfman717 0
It is pretty strait forward...
ItsTheMo 10
....
MrSassypants 34
ItsTheMo, you are the greatest commenter on FML. Your comments are so witty and thoughtful. They are just a hoot to read. Like, gee whizz; I bet god took just a little more time on you to give you comedic skills like that.
Fml_FTW228 10
Another person failing at trying to write the quickest and most thoughtless comment to get the #1 spot.
KaiserSD 8
AWESOME!!! Apart from it being horrifically disgusting, that chick totally deserves a win!
DontModMeDammit 10
3 could have at least used a question mark...
Shenannigoats 16
My thoughts exactly, #3.
ItsTheMo 10
I wasn't being "witty". That wa my first thought. Some people don't try to impress the entire world of FML for no reason constantly, for half a second of attention. ;)
Dflips 0
Nice ******
ESzent 0
Ur a dumbass.
iDaniel525 8
Says the guy who used "ur"
Mercyofall 9
OOOOOOOOOOOH NICE BURN THERE!!
airforce987 20
Seems like a "not sure if gusta" win to me
Byahhh 3
Seems like a bloody good win.
swankmrpancake 8
I'm sure he will think of the flow of the results before flipping any one off again
rayofsunshine12 6
264, your picture matches the FML perfectly.
Mo_tronHimself 13
Well that sure showed him...
AvengedSevenfold_fml_fml 12
...that his wife is a crazy mofo XD
KittyJay 3
I... Actually don't know how I should feel about that... I think I'll go with morbidly disgusted.
RawEndo 1
Thats kinky
MikeMikeTheAzn 3
LIKE A BOSS!
retyi43 14
launch my tampon LIKE A BOSS!
thisisafunnyname 12
Too bad only girls can do this.
SqueakyChipmunk 22
Op should never piss his wife off; he'll get a tampon to the face.
rubberduckie94 13
You should not have sped up just to pass him. Sounds like you, him and your wife have road rage issues. All of you need to be off the road.
ImaginaryFoe 1
That sort of sanity is not usually appreciated but it's true. I've seen these sorts of one-up contests escalate to violence and collisions. OP, maybe the mental image of your wife's, er, enthusiastic support will remind you to just let it go next time. Let the little ****** feel special for a minute and just laugh at the little over-compensator.
yabbadabbadooyah 12
The wife doesn't have road rage. Just pms. By the way this wasn't meant to offend anyone, I am personally a girl, and it happens
GothicAngel17 24
You didn't read the FML properly, apparently. Read again retard.
Capt_Awesome137 0
168- calm down. no need to call someone a "retard" for misreading something...
frrenchy 5
How did they not read it properly?
ImaginaryFoe 1
If you're wearing a tampon, it's a little late to be blaming PRE-menstrual syndrome. That said, if you're incapable of controlling your rage to the level where you're assaulting drivers once a month, either seek treatment or avoid the road.
bizarre_ftw 22
170 - pms = PREmenstrual syndrom, if she's using a tampon her period has clearly already started. Logic can be useful, give it a try some time
Ameel_fml 19
To be fair, PMS can still hit during (and sometimes even after) you get your period. I usually get grumpy during my period, not before it. I guess it just depends on the person.
False_Stupidity 42
Could have just been overtaking in the normal course of the traffic flow, he doesn't have to have purposely sped up to overtake the guy. I end up passing and being passed by the same cars regularly while driving to work, its just how it goes.
perdix 31
She's a keeper! I hope you don't brush your teeth in the car ;)
swimchick7 1
Explain please!
perdix 31
There was a story a day or two ago about a guy whose girlfriend walked in on him while he was brushing his teeth and changed her tampon. I think it's been deleted.
ShyAnn29 15
66, it's a reference to a different FML.
Random951 12
66: It's a reference to a recent FML.
AbbyAbyss 5
This is one of the best comments I have ever seen. And I don't know why.
dominic1221 6
Haha, yeah, it's not even that old either. It's still on the site, I just checked.
BaconDave 12
Is it because it's funny?
BobbyBoss 10
Your wife is awesome.
Blackmail111 9
I hope my wife will be like his. I'm in awe.
draegbomb 5
Well with a profile pic like that good luck just getting a girlfriend.
HighGTurn 12
You too
BaconDave 12
123 - You are the Queen of Doucheland
sleepinginclass 8
118- 123 is stupid, the gears series is my favorite!
AvengedSevenfold_fml_fml 12
123- You have a picture of a dude. I may be coming of a little strong, but that seems kind of... gay, don't ya think..? :
Cashtangoteam 10
She is a badass, OP better remember to not **** with her.
skitzofreniks 5
I fully agree with his wife being awesome! this FML made me laugh.
hthelittleone 10
I admire OP's wife. That really took balls
safaeita 32
This is something I would love to do but never have the guts to do it :p