Wife
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Not now
Today, while zooming down the interstate, I had to tell my husband to put his penis away. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
chewybarseventy
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I came home to see my husband talking to his penis. FML
Shantwozzlah
Kissimmee, United States
Today, my husband thought it would be funny to scare me by maniacally zooming in and out of traffic while we were on his motorcycle. His mood turned to anger when I nervously admitted to having voided my bowels. FML
Anonymous
Winnipeg, Canada 🌶️ Spicy
Communication tool
Today, my husband let me know he felt I was ignoring him by jabbing me in the right ear with his erect penis while I was Skyping with my mum overseas. FML
sammy18f
Brentwood, United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, a man asked me for directions outside of a local store. After about five minutes into the conversation, I noticed he had whipped his penis out and was stroking it. He then asked me if I liked what I saw. FML
mentallyscarred
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, while I was waiting at a bus stop, a man stopped at the red light and smiled at me. I smiled back. He blew me a kiss and drove away, just as I realized he was masturbating behind the wheel. FML
whatnot
Canada 🌶️ Spicy
Today, while stuck in traffic on the highway, my 5 year-old in the back seat asked me why the man in the car next to us was pulling on the other man's "peepee". FML
fmlalways
United Kingdom 🌶️ Spicy
Today, whilst having sex, my husband screamed out a man's name. FML
someoneneedsassistance
Woodford, United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, while driving, I saw a car pull over with its hazard lights on. I went to see if they needed help, only to see the guy was jerking off to something on his phone. FML
16590
Sweden
Road rage gone feral
Today, while I was driving home, some jackass in an open-top sports car overtook us and flipped me off. Just as I overtook him in turn, my wife rolled down her window, pulled out her tampon, and launched it at the kid. I'm not sure who was more horrified, me or him. FML
forever damaged
Wallkill, United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, while I was working at a gas station, a man came up to the register with his zipper undone and his penis hanging out in full view. I had to awkwardly hand him his change while trying not to look or make eye contact. FML
Top comments
Jacobt24 19
He wanted you to head south if you know what I mean
jumpshot23 0
He was pretending to drive a standard. Don't take his fun away.
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Comments (173)
CarsAndMoney 5
Men should be able to have their penises out any time. jk. but why did you do that? let the man have his fun.
Sgt_Henry 2
I've never been "Zooming" on the interstate before, what are the rules??
HappyPickles 11
OP: you're weird... The only comments I've ever had on this topic are girlfriends asking me to pull him out. BTW: I think in most states now you're supposed to use a hands-free whilst driving...
specter1234 0
Road head :p
rockandrolla_fml 0
That's just rude.
fvckyoursadlife 0
well you should've driven 'manual', and revved the engine up a couple notches.
rattusrattus 19
If you want to do that kind of thing, hire a limo. There's a driver and a privacy screen so no-one has to get too distracted, and there's plenty of room for experimenting. ;)
Veniv6711 0
Iheartdance, ur so hott!!!
Play2much 0
He wanted to teach you stick? Ydi for not learning.! >:D
roadracer39 5
typical ******* married woman's fml. after 30 years of marraige, I've yet to figure out why when the ring goes on her finger, they become prudes.
Sunny_Eclipse 6
See a marriage counselor, buddy.
ReynshineCutting 10
It has absolutely nothing to do with the ring. I feel sorry for your wife having married an eternal child.
Polo_X 0
But he's only thirteen? Can't believe kids are starting to marry so young these days. I'm 17 and I can't even get a wife yet, damn...