Today, I stole a bite of my boyfriend's hamburger. He threw a fit, saying I took too big a bite and I had to replace it with a new, more expensive one. Afterwards, he said how lucky I was he didn't break up with me then and there. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while waiting outside a liquor store for my boyfriend, a drunk guy leaned over my shoulder, took a large bite out of my burger, and walked away. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend out for lunch, and I asked her if I could have a bite of her meal. She took it to mean I was calling her fat, and stormed out. FML
Today, I treated my boyfriend to an expensive dinner using the last of my paycheck. I had to excuse myself to the bathroom a few minutes in. I came back to find my plate empty. His excuse was, "I didn't want the food to get cold." FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he doesn't share food after I tried taking a chip from him. I made popcorn that night, and when he tried to take some, I said, "I'm sorry, I don't share food" to get him back. His response? "I can tell." FML
Today my boyfriend tried to be sexy and rip off my underwear. Instead, he bit a chunk out of my hip. FML
Today, I was eating lunch with my boyfriend when I started choking. My boyfriend took it as an opportunity to sneak food off my plate. FML
Today, after eating out with my boyfriend, we went for a drive, but ended up getting into an argument. I reached back to grab my bag and storm out of the car. He thought I was trying to take the restaurant's doggy bag and lunged at me. My boyfriend would rather save chicken than our relationship. FML
Today, while my boyfriend and I were fighting in the car, I paused to take a bite of my burrito. Just at that moment, he slammed on the brakes, causing me to deepthroat my burrito. I threw up all over myself. He won the argument. FML
Today, I was eating pizza with my boyfriend and my friends. I was laughing and talking and went for another piece when my boyfriend grabbed my wrist and said that I had had enough. My friends all backed him up. FML
Today, my boyfriend stole a guy's cookie. As revenge, he stole my iPod. FML
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Top comments
amart402 0
so break up with him. duh.
dreamer13 0
Ass Alert
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Comments (274)
Purpose30 0
Here comes the pimp hand... *slap* lol I kid but really, if your in a relationship with a man that has a problem sharring his food with you. maybe you should rethink how happy you guys are... just sayin
vansbabe66 0
fly
BlaqMetal13 0
How old is he? Eight?
xXSc3n1cXx 0
true, but really.
dance_till_dawn 0
For those of you saying that she shouldn't eat his food...you're morons. He's a ******* big ass baby. She should have smacked him across the face with his half eaten burger.
bassfisher100 23
this... this is funny XD i laughed thank you :p
Domonator 16
I said it, too, but I can't find my insightful comment :(
Serec 0
LOL, HAMBURGLER.
Spacibo100 9
haha
CaptCesar 0
You shouldv'e broke up with his as soon as he brought you to your house.
qzamml 0
i agree. or you could make him REALLY mad first. like take a bite out of some other guy's meat, and see what he says. THEN dump him
Invioletlight 0
The words "cheap prick" do not do this man justice. Dump him and get a man who can afford to ******* share with you. Reminds me of a boyfriend I had for a short period of time that would flip out if I had to have a pee at his apartment and thus use a square of his toilet paper. Wow.
averageirishman 0
What?! Dump him?!? It's a hamburger don't you realize how amazing hamburgers are? Are you retarded?
StoryOfTheYear 15
question is, are YOU retarded, hamburgers are as cheap as a dollar, I can find 5 dollars on the ground, I would say he's lucky SHE didn't dump him right then and there
darthdamian2 4
this is when you brake up with him for being an ass ya guys like food but if you like that much to brakeup with a girl for that he needs to find a doctor