Today, I stole a bite of my boyfriend's hamburger. He threw a fit, saying I took too big a bite and I had to replace it with a new, more expensive one. Afterwards, he said how lucky I was he didn't break up with me then and there. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while waiting outside a liquor store for my boyfriend, a drunk guy leaned over my shoulder, took a large bite out of my burger, and walked away. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend out for lunch, and I asked her if I could have a bite of her meal. She took it to mean I was calling her fat, and stormed out. FML
Today, I treated my boyfriend to an expensive dinner using the last of my paycheck. I had to excuse myself to the bathroom a few minutes in. I came back to find my plate empty. His excuse was, "I didn't want the food to get cold." FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he doesn't share food after I tried taking a chip from him. I made popcorn that night, and when he tried to take some, I said, "I'm sorry, I don't share food" to get him back. His response? "I can tell." FML
Today my boyfriend tried to be sexy and rip off my underwear. Instead, he bit a chunk out of my hip. FML
Today, I was eating lunch with my boyfriend when I started choking. My boyfriend took it as an opportunity to sneak food off my plate. FML
Today, after eating out with my boyfriend, we went for a drive, but ended up getting into an argument. I reached back to grab my bag and storm out of the car. He thought I was trying to take the restaurant's doggy bag and lunged at me. My boyfriend would rather save chicken than our relationship. FML
Today, while my boyfriend and I were fighting in the car, I paused to take a bite of my burrito. Just at that moment, he slammed on the brakes, causing me to deepthroat my burrito. I threw up all over myself. He won the argument. FML
Today, I was eating pizza with my boyfriend and my friends. I was laughing and talking and went for another piece when my boyfriend grabbed my wrist and said that I had had enough. My friends all backed him up. FML
Today, my boyfriend stole a guy's cookie. As revenge, he stole my iPod. FML
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Top comments
amart402 0
so break up with him. duh.
dreamer13 0
Ass Alert
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Comments (274)
kyaquatel 0
leave him before he does something drastic like take a bite out of you.
ISLIM_SHADYI 0
Estonia? I had a geo quiz on that today
Fedor_is_KING 0
BF may have a point. I need to know exactly what type of burger and how big said bite was, only then can I give my thoughts on the matter. Burgers are ******* delicious that's why.
Freeze_fml 17
Looks like you do too.
SmellDaPurp 0
ur so dum;; evn if it hes burger dat dunt meen he gotta b a dikhead bout it.. lol that one is for snickies.
bballer32 0
Your sentances are very poor. Also, ain't ain't a word. (I'm just kidding about the ain't part)
xundria 5
Would it be too much to tell you that it's spelled "sentence?"
Physcomerk 0
wow snickercracker, learn how to spell you boob, it's "what". duh
wordgirl 0
Is that your IQ? Not the 112, but the part that says ZERO. :p
Taipan_fml 0
YOU lucky yo ghetto ass pass firs grade, ain't nobody educated talkin lak dis goodlawd...
iSwag 0
I agree with Fedor_Is_KING
snakrange 0
I totally agree.
tisiphone_fml 0
Yeah, it kind of bugs me when the person I'm at dinner with just *has* to "try a bite" of what I'm eating and eats a whole lot of it. Especially if he or she "wasn't hungry" enough to buy one. Maybe not enough to break up with somebody, but it is annoying. And burgers are delicious...
kaleid0scopeEyes 0
I disagree with the "guy" who has a kissy face picture
hihoney07 0
sounds like you're dating a douchebag
dsegui4 0
ouch that's kinda harsh???
askantha 0
u should shove a hamburger and a hotdog in is ass.. and kick him on his back , dump the loser..
voveraite 7
Ahahaha, nice try with the cultural relativism. Newsflash, the BFs reaction is considered idiocy ANYWHERE in Europe, Estonia included. And while not everything can be categorized in right or wrong, some things are. And no, she couldn't have guessed his asinine reaction. OTOH, it's common courtesy to ask before trying one's food. And common sense not to overreact like that. Edit: wrong target, I was replying to smn else
Misguided_Ghost 0
then and there? wtf?
benen 0
that's something I would do. this is not an fml cuz he didn't break up with u and he wuz probably kidding about breaking up with you plus YDI for being a fat lard and eating peoples food
angelsouad 0
ummm no I'm pretty sure her bfs the fatass and one little bite is not gonna do any harm. so go **** yourself asshole.
YDI_King 0
YDI for staying with the asshole
lonely_heart_89 6
you shouldve replied "well im lucky im breaking up with you now"
Misguided_Ghost 0
food is the way to a mans heart; duh you should know that by now. (; right guys? unless it's a sickninded pervert freak. you know what that means.