Today, I stole a bite of my boyfriend's hamburger. He threw a fit, saying I took too big a bite and I had to replace it with a new, more expensive one. Afterwards, he said how lucky I was he didn't break up with me then and there. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while waiting outside a liquor store for my boyfriend, a drunk guy leaned over my shoulder, took a large bite out of my burger, and walked away. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend out for lunch, and I asked her if I could have a bite of her meal. She took it to mean I was calling her fat, and stormed out. FML
Today, I treated my boyfriend to an expensive dinner using the last of my paycheck. I had to excuse myself to the bathroom a few minutes in. I came back to find my plate empty. His excuse was, "I didn't want the food to get cold." FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he doesn't share food after I tried taking a chip from him. I made popcorn that night, and when he tried to take some, I said, "I'm sorry, I don't share food" to get him back. His response? "I can tell." FML
Today my boyfriend tried to be sexy and rip off my underwear. Instead, he bit a chunk out of my hip. FML
Today, I was eating lunch with my boyfriend when I started choking. My boyfriend took it as an opportunity to sneak food off my plate. FML
Today, after eating out with my boyfriend, we went for a drive, but ended up getting into an argument. I reached back to grab my bag and storm out of the car. He thought I was trying to take the restaurant's doggy bag and lunged at me. My boyfriend would rather save chicken than our relationship. FML
Today, while my boyfriend and I were fighting in the car, I paused to take a bite of my burrito. Just at that moment, he slammed on the brakes, causing me to deepthroat my burrito. I threw up all over myself. He won the argument. FML
Today, I was eating pizza with my boyfriend and my friends. I was laughing and talking and went for another piece when my boyfriend grabbed my wrist and said that I had had enough. My friends all backed him up. FML
Today, my boyfriend stole a guy's cookie. As revenge, he stole my iPod. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
amart402 0
so break up with him. duh.
dreamer13 0
Ass Alert
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (274)
mike11295 0
yea
cartesianlogic 0
Dump the looser and ydi for staying with such a creep. I've got to admit, being a guy who treats the women he's with well, seeing fml's like this is starting to annoy me. There's something irritating about knowing a jackass like him has a girlfriend with as long as I've been single.
479 0
let me guess... both of u are overweighted.
Eddie_Paints 0
Hey #59 is that Sayama from Bamboo Blade?
da_prince 0
WTF? seriously? Wow u have a messed up bf.
wandaax03 0
don't take that crap! dump him!
ohmygeezz 0
you should of broken up with him...and walked away eating his hamburger.
purplemnm 9
44: I AM A GOD WARRIOR!!!!!! SHE'S DARK SIDED!!!!!!
silentmusic 0
i would've done the same thing...you don't share food till your married. plus the fact that i'm a germophobe...
indigo1 0
dump the creep!
Nakedsquirrel 5
While your (soon to be ex, I hope) boyfriend was an asshole, I can relate in that I cannot ******* stand it when people take off of my plate or otherwise help themselves to food I had prepared without the intent to share (as I only make what I know I'll be able to finish.) Next time have some manners and at the very least ask him to buy you your own burger. You don't **** with someone's food, and that includes even "stealing a bite" of your significant other's food. I would become particularly annoyed with my girlfriend when I'd offer to buy her a milkshake or something and she'd refuse, only to end up wanting to drink half of mine; and then when she took me up on the offer, she'd want some wacky flavor that I wouldn't want to finish off, and STILL want to "have a taste" of mine. AGAGJFGB;HGFAJL;HL;GHHAGL;AHFLHLAHFLKHGLShgghhGHHFKDHKLHJDJSLHA WOMAN YOU ARE DRIVING ME UP THE ******* WALL
xd0rkiee 0
^ I agree. YDI for "stealing" anything, no matter how insignificant it may seem to you.
ImaginaryFoe 1
I have to agree. I hate it when people steal my food. It sounds like you're bf is a jerk and so are you. But in all honesty, I would've reacted in much the same way. I would've told you to keep it and gotten a replacement.
The__Redneck 7
Dude, if you have a girlfriend, she's gonna eat your food. There's no use bitching about it; that will not make it stop. Might as well whine about her having a period. Yeah, it sucks. Now shut up and be a man.
Nakedsquirrel 5
I'd rather whine about you. I got told off on the internet by a random dipshit! Waah!
vbmg152 19
I agree with you! people should get their own food and it's not just women. my hubby tried that, ONCE!!! he now knows better. keep your grubby mitts off our food.