Today, I stole a bite of my boyfriend's hamburger. He threw a fit, saying I took too big a bite and I had to replace it with a new, more expensive one. Afterwards, he said how lucky I was he didn't break up with me then and there. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while waiting outside a liquor store for my boyfriend, a drunk guy leaned over my shoulder, took a large bite out of my burger, and walked away. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend out for lunch, and I asked her if I could have a bite of her meal. She took it to mean I was calling her fat, and stormed out. FML
Today, I treated my boyfriend to an expensive dinner using the last of my paycheck. I had to excuse myself to the bathroom a few minutes in. I came back to find my plate empty. His excuse was, "I didn't want the food to get cold." FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he doesn't share food after I tried taking a chip from him. I made popcorn that night, and when he tried to take some, I said, "I'm sorry, I don't share food" to get him back. His response? "I can tell." FML
Today my boyfriend tried to be sexy and rip off my underwear. Instead, he bit a chunk out of my hip. FML
Today, I was eating lunch with my boyfriend when I started choking. My boyfriend took it as an opportunity to sneak food off my plate. FML
Today, after eating out with my boyfriend, we went for a drive, but ended up getting into an argument. I reached back to grab my bag and storm out of the car. He thought I was trying to take the restaurant's doggy bag and lunged at me. My boyfriend would rather save chicken than our relationship. FML
Today, while my boyfriend and I were fighting in the car, I paused to take a bite of my burrito. Just at that moment, he slammed on the brakes, causing me to deepthroat my burrito. I threw up all over myself. He won the argument. FML
Today, I was eating pizza with my boyfriend and my friends. I was laughing and talking and went for another piece when my boyfriend grabbed my wrist and said that I had had enough. My friends all backed him up. FML
Today, my boyfriend stole a guy's cookie. As revenge, he stole my iPod. FML
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Top comments
amart402 0
so break up with him. duh.
dreamer13 0
Ass Alert
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Comments (274)
Erindub 0
He sounds kinda out of control yo. Think it over.
f_alltheirlives 3
I would gladly dump you tomorrow for a bite of my hamburger today
liveloveandownit 0
W.O.W simply wow. Old referance or alliance background chatter.
jgarciabu 0
I love how people give advice over FML. She's from Estonia. Ever think their culture is like that. Stop trying to apply your American values to everyone's situation. OOOOH break up with him, you need to be an independent woman...bla bla bla STFU... Let people live their lives. Stop giving advice through FML it's not an advice column...that means YOU Snickerdoodle. I'm sick of reading your retarded, ass backwards advice. Get your nose out of People Magazine and live in the real world. There is no such thing as right or wrong, it's all relative. So girl from Estonia, YDI because you should have known he was gonna get pissed. You made him buy another hamburger because your a hungry ass who shouldn't have taken such a big bite.
Freeze_fml 17
In Estonia, burger eat you!
DS1_fml 0
Lol. You're a complete moron, #75. I bet you abuse anybody you date.
pazzazzyyx3 3
what is he fat?
amira101 20
lmao lol lmao lol lol
sucks4you09 0
YDI for dating Kevin fedreline!!
perdix 31
Tell him you promise not to bite his meat anymore and let him deal with that;)
RetroMom 0
kick him to the curb!!!!!!
Jewelofagal 2
Hark! The red flag of a bad boyfriend. A selfish, inconsiderate, demanding, self-centered, over-reactive drama queen of a boyfriend.
BigBoii123456 0
ydi for dating a fat ass
blondegirl_fml 0
Is your boyfriend 7 years old or something? He sounds like a child.