Today, after eating out with my boyfriend, we went for a drive, but ended up getting into an argument. I reached back to grab my bag and storm out of the car. He thought I was trying to take the restaurant's doggy bag and lunged at me. My boyfriend would rather save chicken than our relationship. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I got into a huge fight with my boyfriend after driving 200 miles to see him. While arguing, I told him I never wanted to see him again and left after slamming the front door. I left my car keys in his kitchen. FML
Today, I stormed out of a restaurant after an argument with my boyfriend to make a dramatic exit. Instead of the front door, I marched into what turned out to be the kitchen. The entire restaurant heard me swear and then quietly shuffle back out. FML
Today, while my boyfriend and I were fighting in the car, I paused to take a bite of my burrito. Just at that moment, he slammed on the brakes, causing me to deepthroat my burrito. I threw up all over myself. He won the argument. FML
Today, my boyfriend came to my work, at a drive thru, in my car, and then got mad at me because I wouldn't give him free food. In his anger, he put my car in reverse and backed out of line very quickly, only to smash into a paying customer. FML
Today, my boyfriend took me home to have dinner with his parents. I couldn’t eat a single bite after watching his mom let her three dogs taste all the food off her hands, while she also licked her own fingers while cooking. Later on, he dumped me for being rude and “too high maintenance." FML
Today, I took my girlfriend out for lunch, and I asked her if I could have a bite of her meal. She took it to mean I was calling her fat, and stormed out. FML
Today, I asked my boyfriend if he wanted me to get him some take out. He responded with, "I think we should see other people. Uh, chicken please." FML
Today, I went out to lunch with my girlfriend. I asked if she was going to finish her meal, hoping to steal a bite or two. She somehow took this as me calling her fat, threw her drink at me, and stormed off. I just wanted some steak. FML
Today, I stole a bite of my boyfriend's hamburger. He threw a fit, saying I took too big a bite and I had to replace it with a new, more expensive one. Afterwards, he said how lucky I was he didn't break up with me then and there. FML
Today, my husband and I went out to dinner. I caught him writing down his number for the waitress. When I confronted him, his response was, "What? I'm not allowed to have friends?" and threw a fit over my "irrational paranoia." I had to walk home in the cold, because he kicked me out of the car mid-argument. FML
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Top comments
Igshmia 0
Soooo.. he likes ****?
JiggaJayZ 16
Food > girlfriend
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Comments (184)
Xx6RoseThorn9xX 5
dump his sorry asss
Saltime 0
1, are you serious? You're probably some ten year old pre-pubescent boy who jerks off to the staurday morning cartoons. You most likely know nothing about relationships because you're too busy inside your room to even talk to a girl. Come back in 5 years when you might have some common sense.
dolphincheddar 10
so who started the argument? if op is a total bitch, I'm goin to kfc for some chicken and leaving her on the sidewalk. if it's the boyfreind. then dont overreact like that and it wouldn't have happened
honeysuckel 0
18, damn chill...
Saltime 0
25, I'm just surprised that I didn't make a single spelling mistake in that. Grammar Nazis everywhere may now frown.
teh_uber_muffin 3
Saturday* :P
dolphincheddar 10
28. saturday* ;)
teh_uber_muffin 3
A worthy adversary, I capitalized that in order to keep from compromising my own situation.
missmurderx 8
18, all numbers below ten need to be spelled out. :)
J1hill33 12
maybe it was just really good chicken
Saltime 0
****, that backfired...
BShady96 0
at least he got chicken
YayorNay 8
Winner winner chicken dinner.
tatababe 1
I'm with number when he cares more about chicken then you it's a sign
chuckychan 8
Chicken looks good on the outside and tastes good on the inside. Chicken Is cheaper. Chicken cant complain. Chicken Doesn't have birthdays to worry about. There are lots of reasons to choose chicken maybe if you acted more like one you could have a decent relationship
bfsd42 20
He's acting like a child for grabbing the chicken. She is also acting like a child for storming off. She totally deserved it. But maybe they are good for each other cos they both act like children.
PrimeStarscream 30
You're such a charmer.
dorkychick 0
shit...id tackle you for some chickennnn tooo
number0 8
You have no idea what people would do for some good chicken. Watch South Park, and pay close attention to Eric Cartman.
smellymellyy 7
Pollo Loco!
Igshmia 0
Soooo.. he likes ****?
MrFlintstone 5
or maybe it was really good chicken
Yodaevil 4
or the chicken tastes better?
dolphincheddar 10
mmm, tastes like chicken
jayalexander 7
don't forget the hot sauce!
enonymous 9
Who doesn't enjoy some **** in your backseat. Even better when it's in your trunk. It can cause your tailpipe to emit stronger odors however.
turkishjew 0
I see what you did there
TheChampagneBoi 5
Crispy
JiggaJayZ 16
Food > girlfriend
Blazingcrono 6
Agreed. Food doesn't leave you. It will always satisfy you. You don't have to be ashamed of (food) ****. It doesn't complain about anything. Best of all, it always taste good.
PurpleWaffles 2
you = no girlfriend in the near future.
Docbee 11
girlfriend=sammich=food = win!
PrimeStarscream 30
Chicken. Yum.
je_suis_fml 11
intimacy > loneliness
omgcookeys 15
girlfriend+kitchen=food :)
chickunkey 0
the problem with girlfriend+kitchen=food is that you have to supply your girlfriend with the materials needed to make said food. might as well just order takeout.
kaoss54 3
It's ok cuz she shouldn't eat when she's upset... He was just looking out for her
turkishjew 0
you have you're priorities right
smartypants96 3
maybe hes hungry?
Symmetry88 0
they just got back from dinner... he wouldn't be hungry.
smartypants96 3
maybe the food was better than her..
IceyJustin 1
Chickity China the Chinese Chicken.
brutalrhino 4
Grab a drum stuck an' ya' brain starts clickin'.
brutalrhino 4
Stick* I didn't proof read that single sentence very well.
rachel_potter 13
what an asshole! if he does that then your better off without him op
Bakayarou_fml 0
yea!! how dare he have an argument with you OP?? and to top it off, he lunged for the food?? KILL HIM!!! #6 .. -_- .. just -_-
lolasains 7
that's just sad....
RiiOT09 9
Well was it good chicken? if it was, I see no problem.
natalieeeeee 0
well maybe the chicken was really good? Lol just kidding! just dump him, he's obviously an ass!
Igshmia 0
Well based on ur picture. Her boyfriends not the only one that loves a **** in his mouth.
IamVexatious 0
i guess that makes two of you..
honeysuckel 0
30, show respect for the King of Pop.
natalieeeeee 0
what did 30 say about him? haters need to **** off.
Saltime 0
That chicken must've been cooked by Kenny Rogers if it was that good.
saIty 17
Should have let him dolphin dive for it and end up getting a broken arm.