Today, I stole a bite of my boyfriend's hamburger. He threw a fit, saying I took too big a bite and I had to replace it with a new, more expensive one. Afterwards, he said how lucky I was he didn't break up with me then and there. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while waiting outside a liquor store for my boyfriend, a drunk guy leaned over my shoulder, took a large bite out of my burger, and walked away. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend out for lunch, and I asked her if I could have a bite of her meal. She took it to mean I was calling her fat, and stormed out. FML
Today, I treated my boyfriend to an expensive dinner using the last of my paycheck. I had to excuse myself to the bathroom a few minutes in. I came back to find my plate empty. His excuse was, "I didn't want the food to get cold." FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he doesn't share food after I tried taking a chip from him. I made popcorn that night, and when he tried to take some, I said, "I'm sorry, I don't share food" to get him back. His response? "I can tell." FML
Today my boyfriend tried to be sexy and rip off my underwear. Instead, he bit a chunk out of my hip. FML
Today, I was eating lunch with my boyfriend when I started choking. My boyfriend took it as an opportunity to sneak food off my plate. FML
Today, after eating out with my boyfriend, we went for a drive, but ended up getting into an argument. I reached back to grab my bag and storm out of the car. He thought I was trying to take the restaurant's doggy bag and lunged at me. My boyfriend would rather save chicken than our relationship. FML
Today, while my boyfriend and I were fighting in the car, I paused to take a bite of my burrito. Just at that moment, he slammed on the brakes, causing me to deepthroat my burrito. I threw up all over myself. He won the argument. FML
Today, I was eating pizza with my boyfriend and my friends. I was laughing and talking and went for another piece when my boyfriend grabbed my wrist and said that I had had enough. My friends all backed him up. FML
Today, my boyfriend stole a guy's cookie. As revenge, he stole my iPod. FML
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Top comments
amart402 0
so break up with him. duh.
dreamer13 0
Ass Alert
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Comments (274)
amart402 0
so break up with him. duh.
llAllStarll 0
I 2nd this motion
Anonnamus 0
I say you dump ON him. Put that half-eaten hamburger to use.
cookiemobzta 0
why would you eat off his meal?? you deserve that for being cheap
XxRayRayxX 0
shut the **** up you ******* ****
Shae84 0
is he a fat kid?
pinkpolsih 0
yeah. you should have said well too bad you weren't lucky enough and dump him!
Lg11 3
I concur
paperisuseful 0
how would she deserve tht lmao
Yee12 0
YDI fo not making him a hamburger and having to buy him one? if your not gonna cook his food then what are you good for?
PandasRtheShit 0
Is he the hamburgler??
uranidiot84 0
dump the loser. cheat on him first. clearly he's a pos.
theswag 0
I agree, ditch him.
reyemrein 0
Better yet, Mary him and take half of his stuff. Use the divorce money to start up a successful chain of hamburger resteraunts.
guckylynn 19
I hope your broke up with him right then and there.
exotica_fml 6
i love your icon! LOL
succubusprime 0
Momma SuccubusPrime said he's a cheap bastard and to dump him. I say stay with him and learn some damn manners, the way to a man's heart is through his stomach, and eating his food is counter productive.
mcicycool 0
ur bf is a fatty(: heehee
aardvarkish 17
to #62: I think that truism became obsolete at the end of the stone age. These days, it's probably more of an intellectual process. But I could be wrong.
Jrook 0
idk if the way to a mans stomach is through his stomach... but the fastest way to a mans prostate is up the butt
Jrsrusty 0
holy control freak. id never jump on anyone that hard for something that stupid...
kayvan 8
If you cook him a hamburger, make sure you fill it with some special sauce first (use your imagination).
sublime93 0
44, I love your picture.
Resquall 0
@90 Prostate=urinary system=penis
colomexparra 0
hahaha 45 that comment made my year
AndreaHaha 0
Wow break up with you because you took a bite of his hamburger?? that's stupid he must not care for you that much or either he just likes hamburgers more. I say dump em
hastaperi 0
There's already one out there. It's called McDonalds.
WordsOfHope 0
29 is right
Dwight_A_R_Manag 0
Is OP dating an 8 year old?
acccccccc 1
I normally like it when girls eat my meat if you know what I mean ;)
daniel1_1 13
Well yo are lucky he didn't...
hot_tamale26 3
wow. he sounds like a real winner. what a classy guy.
spiderman0606 0
JOEY DOESN'T SHARE FOOD.
CrazierSeb09 0
@45 YES epic win
GeoThermalSleuth 0
It's simple, DON'T STEAL BITES OF FOOD FROM FRIENDS!!!
strawberryhtty 0
LMFAO
nyny26 0
YDI if you actually bought another hamburger... kindergarden failure: doesn't know how to share
dude247 0
that's why you never touch a mans food you deserve it FYL
StoryOfTheYear 15
wow 62- it's a hamburger, if this was a 100 bite out of his lobster I would understand him but dang?? I am protective of my food but if it was my gf I wouldve been fine, and here it wouldve been even more fine cuz it was a hamburger at McD's for a dollar, dump him
StoryOfTheYear 15
$100* implement dollar sign in front of 100
sexidimplez 0
I agree don't **** with a man's food they get irritable lol
christinnaaa 10
g
NomDeGuerre 0
@#108: Nope.. #90 had it right.
woofis 0
**** I would do the same thing and now I'm hungry!
tatte3 1
dump his and throw a burger at him
fatman1970 25
I couldn't have put it better myself. The boyfriend needs to grow up fast.
rohosoccer08 1
193@ you stole my thoughts, I've been thinking about that since I read this fml lol
liveloveandownit 0
You deserve it completely. Women always order a salad and then steal your meat. If you want meat just order it I have no problem paying for the more expensive dish but I want to eat my food not give up half of it because your rabit food isn't enough for you when I said get whatever you want. (Devil's advocate)
liveloveandownit 0
You deserve it completely. Women always order a salad and then steal your meat. If you want meat just order it I have no problem paying for the more expensive dish but I want to eat my food not give up half of it because your rabit food isn't enough for you when I said get whatever you want. (Devil's advocate)
messiferlife19 0
thats what you deserve for toucgobg the mans hamburger
wordgirl 0
Jrook (#90): But which one will make him pay your bills and father your kidsies? Prostate or stomach? :p
StoD_fml 0
Ooooh! "U want fries with that?" Kkk
megastupid 0
can I get some age reference cuz that retard sounds like a 7 year old
duhasstwarum 0
#31 why would she cheat because he over-reacted thats out of order and #352 i am the same i hate people eatingmy food but i would never threaten to dump somone because of that he must not like her that much anyway.
My2864 1
14,its called sharing.. and also why would he react in such a dumbass way
kal915 0
yeah if my girl took a bite off my burger, I'd think it was cute and probably feed her you should just do what 45 said
itman3456 0
Stfu with your chody ass
sadmansteve1 0
Honestly why are you dating him?
dgr8ing 0
THEN AND THERE!
dgr8ing 0
unless you are a man. don't pretend to know we are all dicks
jackiez333 6
moition passed
JrRacer4007 0
Pandas Are the SHIT!! great name!
dreamer13 0
Ass Alert
bhangu023 0
u shud say ur lucky I didn't dump YOU
mina637 0
i wud have been like. im not gonna buy u a ****** burger. jeez!!! i eat from my guy friends food all the ****** time. and theyre not even my boyfriend(s)!!
sammiller4 3
don't touch a mans food. I learned that the hard way lol
ElMetalero 0
exactly never EVER touch a mans food not even if there's a fire!!!
deathcab7 0
wow what little girls men can be when it comes to their food. hmm.
m0tl3ycru3 0
Mmmm donuts
iShockwavezZ 0
haha epic... you should of said the same. :p
MZHUNIDEW13 0
wwwwaaaaaatttt??? ur. bf is really sensitive
mirkatsboss 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
you deserved it for biting without asking
blobzorz 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
why did you steal in the first place?
deathisaponu 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
**** think befor you ackt
Rizzen 27
think before you type
warsun 27
Sorry mate. People don't do that on the Internet
hoyles 0
ffs... lose the boy
omgitsalex62 0
i wulda broke up with him!! its a burger !!!