Today, while my boyfriend and I were fighting in the car, I paused to take a bite of my burrito. Just at that moment, he slammed on the brakes, causing me to deepthroat my burrito. I threw up all over myself. He won the argument. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was making out with my boyfriend, when the Taco Bell I'd eaten for lunch came back up for round two. Undigested rice and beans got stuck in his hair. FML
Today, during lunch, I choked on my food and possibly came close to death when my boyfriend's best friend performed the Heimlich Maneuver on me, potentially saving my life. My boyfriend then started arguing with me over letting his best friend touch my stomach. FML
Today, I was eating lunch with my boyfriend when I started choking. My boyfriend took it as an opportunity to sneak food off my plate. FML
Today, after eating out with my boyfriend, we went for a drive, but ended up getting into an argument. I reached back to grab my bag and storm out of the car. He thought I was trying to take the restaurant's doggy bag and lunged at me. My boyfriend would rather save chicken than our relationship. FML
Today, my boyfriend came to my work, at a drive thru, in my car, and then got mad at me because I wouldn't give him free food. In his anger, he put my car in reverse and backed out of line very quickly, only to smash into a paying customer. FML
Today, I went to the grocery store with my boyfriend. I wasn't feeling well so I wasn't paying too much attention to his usual antics. Since he thought I was ignoring him, he decided to grab me roughly by the stomach to give me a hug. I ended up puking right in the middle of the aisle. FML
Today, I was about to make out with my boyfriend, so I quickly swallowed my gum. Moments later, I started choking on the gum, and ended up spitting it out into his face. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I shared our first kiss. His partly digested nachos decided to make an appearance halfway through. FML
Today, my boyfriend was holding my hair back while I threw up. The smell then reached him and caused him to throw up in my hair. FML
Today, I stole a bite of my boyfriend's hamburger. He threw a fit, saying I took too big a bite and I had to replace it with a new, more expensive one. Afterwards, he said how lucky I was he didn't break up with me then and there. FML
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Top comments
Fortuitous 0
Did he make you deepthroat something else since you lost?
perdix 31
Was the argument that you could deepthroat him if you really tried?
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Comments (183)
wraithofhate 0
first you lose
omG_G00 0
That was quick O.O
PizzaGuy11 0
ikr?
Bobtheknob 0
☻/ This is bob, copy paste him /▌ to end women suffrage / lets stop sexual abuse like this
KingDingALing 9
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
I have the perfect pun for this, you guys!!! You can deepthroat my burrito, OP. ;) Woo! :D
untoward 0
I would like to reply to #1 but the comment has been moderated. but can the staff please moderate bobtheknob
lori_lovee 0
Eew, that sucks.
unidentified_sta 5
OP, you got talent and so you'll go far. Far, far... down that is.
CiaranPM 0
#65 It does. Literally.
mitchie11 0
"Mmmmm this burritto is good.. but it is filling" - will ferrell :)
newzealand 28
#90 did we just become best friends!
mitchie11 0
#108 yes! lolol
rallets 23
you wanna do karate in the garage?
Joppa 0
How can you eat your burrito while fighting? You must be a very good multi-tasker.
rallets 23
#133 the guy was driving while fighting too lol
stephanie0613 0
116, he says YUP! not yes. haha and ugh that is gross Op.
justAskxx 0
XD winnn.
xXBlackAceXx 0
haha lol
PizzaGuy11 0
burritos are the shit..,
sourgirl101 29
Burritos give you the *****...
MattBC97 4
ha^
7lollypop7 0
I love burritos
swimmerstud 7
I love tacos
luckyluke2000 2
haha suck it
12596 0
I like how she used deepthroat
SettoFail 9
GROSS
Fortuitous 0
Did he make you deepthroat something else since you lost?
Pixelduhst 0
Is it bad that I was assuming the burrito to be that in the first place?
Fortuitous 0
Nope. It just shows that you fit in well here at FML.
sassington10 0
sorry OP, that sucks. fyl
mentalheart 1
Lol, that's mean, but I culd see my bf doins that to me. But I wuldnt throw up
maskedman 9
because you're deepthroat professional?
LOL_Noobs 0
OMG can I have some of that grammar?
randiZ25 0
agreed
allmidnighteyes 11
At least you didn't end up throwing your burrito out the window and hitting a biker... then he would've probably punted you off a bridge...
avenged7fold6661 0
hahaha awesome movie
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
I'M IN A GLASS BOX OF EMOTION!
davault 0
in soviet russia burrito deep throats u
Draminicaus 0
....because that TOTALLY makes sense. :|
docscientist 10
You sir, don't live in Soviet Russia.
maverick606 0
bahaha
jvillan87 5
lmfao!
xXBlackAceXx 0
in soviet russia, everything makes sense.........exept this......which makes a philosophical loop
perdix 31
Was the argument that you could deepthroat him if you really tried?
graciedacie 0
Then HE would have lost, because obviously she cant. Geez.
thakiller 0
^Maybe she said she couldn't retard
mrd10 0
that's what I was thinking!
iSometimes 5
If she said she couldn't, then doesn't that mean she won since she can't? Um... looks like someone else is the retard.