Today, I stole a bite of my boyfriend's hamburger. He threw a fit, saying I took too big a bite and I had to replace it with a new, more expensive one. Afterwards, he said how lucky I was he didn't break up with me then and there. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while waiting outside a liquor store for my boyfriend, a drunk guy leaned over my shoulder, took a large bite out of my burger, and walked away. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend out for lunch, and I asked her if I could have a bite of her meal. She took it to mean I was calling her fat, and stormed out. FML
Today, I treated my boyfriend to an expensive dinner using the last of my paycheck. I had to excuse myself to the bathroom a few minutes in. I came back to find my plate empty. His excuse was, "I didn't want the food to get cold." FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he doesn't share food after I tried taking a chip from him. I made popcorn that night, and when he tried to take some, I said, "I'm sorry, I don't share food" to get him back. His response? "I can tell." FML
Today my boyfriend tried to be sexy and rip off my underwear. Instead, he bit a chunk out of my hip. FML
Today, I was eating lunch with my boyfriend when I started choking. My boyfriend took it as an opportunity to sneak food off my plate. FML
Today, after eating out with my boyfriend, we went for a drive, but ended up getting into an argument. I reached back to grab my bag and storm out of the car. He thought I was trying to take the restaurant's doggy bag and lunged at me. My boyfriend would rather save chicken than our relationship. FML
Today, while my boyfriend and I were fighting in the car, I paused to take a bite of my burrito. Just at that moment, he slammed on the brakes, causing me to deepthroat my burrito. I threw up all over myself. He won the argument. FML
Today, I was eating pizza with my boyfriend and my friends. I was laughing and talking and went for another piece when my boyfriend grabbed my wrist and said that I had had enough. My friends all backed him up. FML
Today, my boyfriend stole a guy's cookie. As revenge, he stole my iPod. FML
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Top comments
amart402 0
so break up with him. duh.
dreamer13 0
Ass Alert
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Comments (274)
imma1pimp 0
dump his ass now
teacher411 0
Haha. My bf and I would break up daily if that were the case! I always take a bite if his food ;)
Paradoodle 5
ok he might be territorial, but if you're his girlfriend you should know this. if not, you probably haven't been dating long meaning that you aren't at that point of sharing everything yet. and that's if you'd be a couple that would do that. if you've been together awhile and he just flipped over that I'd give him a taste of his own medicine. and if he doesn't get it leave. you don't need someone who flips over something stupid.
mirandyyy 0
29- wow. what are you, sexist?
Texaporte 3
Yeah, uhm, dump him. He's going to walk all over you if you don't, and I don't know about you but I'd rather be single than be somebody's doormat.
ChicaChica5683 0
he's a dick. people have such creepy partners on here....
dreamnitedarling 9
"Lucky" would have been if he HAD broken up with you then and there, now you have to do the dirty work. Lose his ass, pronto, why would you want to keep putting up with this selfish drama queen asshole?
sergio50150 0
dump your bf and you can bite my meat anytime
astro_plastic 0
fail. and major icks.
krez 20
Good thing you didn't take some of his fries.
jfarrow9703 11
you don't touch a mans food that's all there is to it, get your own if your hungry or have him buy u one but don't eat his!!!!!!!!!