Today, I told my boyfriend I was pregnant. He went outside for a "breather" and never came back. FML
Today, I walked into my bedroom, only to find out that my bed is missing. I have no idea where it is. FML
Today, my husband discovered that whispering anything in my ear will turn me on. He turned to me and whispered 'cheeseburger' in my ear. Unfortunately, I moaned. Now he now laughs about it with our roommate. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend when he started shaking really hard. When I asked him what he was doing, he simply said, "I want to be better than your vibrator!" FML
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