Today, I had sex with my girlfriend. This is the seventh time in a row that she hasn't moved or made any noises the entire way through. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I made love to my girlfriend. I penetrated her for a while, then stopped to get my breath back... She carried on moaning even though I'd stopped moving. FML
Today, my girlfriend fell asleep during sex. This isn't the first time. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were making out, and about to have sex, when she asked me to "do that thing we did yesterday". We haven't had sex in 6 days. FML
Today, in the middle of having sex, my girlfriend stopped moaning. I asked what was wrong. She said, "I'm bored." FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. Its was pretty good and heavy and she was moaning nicely. Then her moans got softer and softer and then nothing. She fell asleep. FML
Today, my girlfriend were having sex. When I finished, she whispered in my ear, "30 seconds." FML
Today, my girlfriend of a year and I had sex for the first time in several weeks due to relationship problems; I came in less than 10 seconds. We're still having problems. FML
Today, my girlfriend said she didn't want to have sex because it takes too long. FML
Today my girlfriend actually moved during sex. I love her, but she's so awful in bed. FML
Today, I learned two things. First, my girlfriend loves sex. Second, I'm practically the only one she hasn't had sex with in the 2 months we've been dating. FML
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Top comments
kg163401 0
I dub thee corpse ******
yazah 0
Try deflating her and then blowing her back up. :)
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Comments (404)
Late_night83 25
real dolls are not real people! maybe u need to find a real girlfriend.
Osito2011 9
maybe she fell asleep...you have to hit it harder to wake her up...or stop bagging love dolls or corps and do a real person
mrpipp 0
zombie.
jbird1193 3
psst.. wake up..
cwmbear 0
When you say 'had sex' you do mean genital vaginal penetration and not merely sitting on the same seat the other recently vacated, do you? That's how my sister got pregnant. According to my dad.
cetlawizard 15
lol...your dads a stupid idiot...does he also think that's how you kids were born...maybe he isn't your biological father after all cause you seem a lot smarter. :)
Brett102 0
you doing something wrong man or she's just not into you like you think she is wouldn't be surprised if she's sleeping with someone better then you behind your back bro
rhysfucker 24
is she breathing ??
fusion2580 1
stop having sex with your pillow
toddler38 0
put it in her butt, then see if she moves.
Lisa89 3
This is what being a grown up is all about. Ask her what she wants, tell her what you want (that you want her to move or make noise!). Discuss this like adults. Either that or you have a blow up doll or dead girlfriend...