Today, I had sex with my girlfriend. This is the seventh time in a row that she hasn't moved or made any noises the entire way through. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I made love to my girlfriend. I penetrated her for a while, then stopped to get my breath back... She carried on moaning even though I'd stopped moving. FML
Today, my girlfriend fell asleep during sex. This isn't the first time. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were making out, and about to have sex, when she asked me to "do that thing we did yesterday". We haven't had sex in 6 days. FML
Today, in the middle of having sex, my girlfriend stopped moaning. I asked what was wrong. She said, "I'm bored." FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. Its was pretty good and heavy and she was moaning nicely. Then her moans got softer and softer and then nothing. She fell asleep. FML
Today, my girlfriend were having sex. When I finished, she whispered in my ear, "30 seconds." FML
Today, my girlfriend of a year and I had sex for the first time in several weeks due to relationship problems; I came in less than 10 seconds. We're still having problems. FML
Today, my girlfriend said she didn't want to have sex because it takes too long. FML
Today my girlfriend actually moved during sex. I love her, but she's so awful in bed. FML
Today, I learned two things. First, my girlfriend loves sex. Second, I'm practically the only one she hasn't had sex with in the 2 months we've been dating. FML
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Top comments
kg163401 0
I dub thee corpse ******
yazah 0
Try deflating her and then blowing her back up. :)
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Comments (404)
thatnucca 36
The perfect definition of a lousy lay... Be positive! At least she didn't ask for the comic section newspaper while you were at it... Ask her for help...
NYC_Yoshi 3
good relationships require communication. you should have said something to her the 1st time instead of waiting for the 7th and coming to us instead. YDI.
jweezy89 4
Well he came to her atleast 7 times, if you know what I mean. ;-)
emtae6307 4
You are doing something wrong dude.
thekrammer 5
make her move
Senseisparky 0
Why are you counting the times you gave her a lousy lay? Shes plotting her exit strategy.
billywhhaatt 5
or she's dead an he should sorting out a plot for her.
TheDrifter 24
Or he's overdoing the chloroform and she's just unconscious.
tree07 1
#17 ftw
LolMoqz 10
yeah dude. Somethings wrong here.
hockeyrocks39 0
It takes a while to get a girls parts all warmed up and excited. Are you warming things up first or just slam bam thank you mam?
anonymou5e 6
you, sir, fail. It's more FHL then FYL
KushTaeKush 0
fhl?
Badshah29 6
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
So what, atleast u get 2 enjoy. Besides if she let u do her seven times she'll probably let u do it again in da future. Although u shud check if she's actually a transexual man
bentleysdad11611 0
your the dumbest ****** on here next time just don't say anything man sound alot smarter
Badshah29 6
Yah? And have u looked at ur gfs face with ur glasses on? I'd rather do a mouse!
Badshah29 6
besides if i stayed silent, how wud i "sound" smarter? guess dat shows how bright u r, ********
IndigoFuckYou 9
Dude. Rule one of any Internet site, ever. don't diss a man's girl. No. plus, she's not bad looking, you're just a shallow prick. And you would seem smarter if you kept your mouth shut because everything that you say seems to be pure verbal stupidity.
KiddNYC1O 22
45- It's "You're" or "You are". In your face!
DjeePee 25
Let me guess, this was also the seventh time in a row that you just continued having sex with an obviously not interested person. Com-mu-ni-ca-tion. Think about it.
B0nb0N09 12
Communication- otherwise known and seeking consent. Sounds like he missed a rather important bit of the process there