Anonymous
United States 🌶️ Spicy
What what?
Today, my car broke down because someone stuck a dildo in the tail pipe. I'd parked in my driveway. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Char
Gravesend, United Kingdom
Today, whilst at work, I had a woman come in with a problem with the seat in her car not moving backwards or forwards. There was a dildo stuck in the chair rail. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, after parking my car, I was informed by an incredibly hot girl that my tail light was faulty. I tried hitting it to make it work again. Guess who has 5 stitches and a smashed tail light? FML
someone
Mogadore, United States
Today, my car broke down. I pulled to the side of the road to call a tow truck. After waiting what seemed like hours, the tow truck showed up, and then ran into the back of my car. FML
ummWhat?
Today my car was broken into. The only thing taken were condoms and lighters I had in the glove box. FML
ocroyalty
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I was trying to get my car out of my boyfriend's apartment garage but couldn't. Why? Because somebody decided to park in front if the garage door and have sex. Complete with steamed windows and loud noises. FML
Anonymous
Move!
Today, in my tidy, small-town neighborhood, I parked my car 50 metres further back from my usual spot just across from our house on a half-empty public street, because it was taken. Apparently, someone didn't appreciate this. So much so, they put a used condom under my windshield wiper. FML
jjuuuuuuulless
Today, my car's parking gear and parking brake failed. I watched as it rolled down a big hill into someone's 2017, $30,000 camper. FML
carless
United States
Today, my car was stolen. From my driveway. By the guy who sold it to me. FML
nozVail
United States
Today, I drove to my cousin's house so he could help me fix my broken tail light. On the way there, I got pulled over for having a broken tail light. FML
Anonymous
Walnut, United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I walked in on my mom in the bathroom, washing a dildo. FML
Top comments
saIty 17
Or maybe your car is a Transformer and was playing with itself.
WallyTheWombat 0
Lol someone put a ***** in your "tailpipe".
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Comments (133)
saIty 17
Or maybe your car is a Transformer and was playing with itself.
nateylovesporn 1
must have been a big ***** can I have it? mwuahahah kidding:) maybe;) lOl no but really give it to me.
rawrkittyrawr 6
So many jokes my mind can't comprehend
nonelikeworms 0
Bumblebee?
SummerFever 8
I don't think metal is supposed to bend that way.
construction 7
But you are (20)
mikeeg 0
6- You do seem gay, "kitty."
DynamicDave 11
And this, kids, is why we always check our tailpipes for ******! Oh, is that just me?
Vasin_fml 15
On the Upside, free *****.
bubble25_fml 5
Free ***** is a good thing, those things are super expensive now..
skullcandifiedDJ 5
you should've wrote a FML about how your car was getting more action then you...
zhaoyunus 0
Today, My car got more action then I have ever gotten in more then 10 years, It got a *****!, FML
chelseaaababyyy 17
1 - awesome comment. made me laugh(:
armyboy00025 3
Maybe the OP's car was a Prius and a caring passerby wanted to give it a pair.
Georgieeporgiee 9
At least you got a free *****!
jackiez333 6
It was Dinkleberg.
Aero_x 21
wtf.
kwchambers92 10
Hahaha I'm sorry, but that's hilarious. Just wear gloves before you remove it!
mnblkjpoi 0
It was probably used.
kwchambers92 10
Hence the "wear gloves before you remove it" comment Jesus forgives you
m0tl3ycru3 0
The car was horny
YoTengoTomatoes 7
Op should give it to the girl with the detachable shower head problem
angrymexican 8
Use lotion to make it slippery
satph 12
63- LOL!! was that pun intended??
Buttsexpirate 9
Geez sometimes I think that ****** have a life of their own and just go around ******* people over.
GRRSOM 7
Seems like the right way to **** a car up.
rubberduckie94 13
when you find out who did it get a ping pong ball in put it in their gas tank. It will not hurt the car but whenever they are low on gas they will hear it in there and think something is wrong with their car. much money will be spent trying to figure out what the noise is before someone figures it out.
WallyTheWombat 0
Lol someone put a ***** in your "tailpipe".
you_and_me_fml 8
Such creative neighbors you must have
danny0094 0
I agree lol
domx 0
Yo baby
lizard399 0
That's random... Funnier when I imagine trying to explain what happened to the guy fixing your car.
Victoire_W 0
People these days.
springbok_fml 2
hilarious aren't they
construction 7
Gingers these days..
kwchambers92 10
Red aren't they?
RiiOT09 9
Nothing wrong with being a ginger
blackheart24 10
Yeah I'm a ginger, and I love having no soul. It's very freeing.
ihavenosoul 4
I'm a ginger too. FTW.
Pilotchick 8
#75 As if your name didn't give it away (;
seahawksfan900 11
Dislike!!!
didthatreallyhap_fml 14
Lol wow that sucks :-( they really must have disliked OP a ***** costs way more than a banana. Maybe they stuck the ***** in your tail pipe to say **** you and your car
RawrNom 0
what I thinks weird is that they don't put potatos or bananas in, they put a frigging ***** in. Who has those just lying around?! creepy neighbors :D
whited666 0
Oh! That's where I left it!!!! My bad :P