Today, I had a parent-teacher conference with my 8 year old son. He'd written "Chuck Norris" as the answer for every question on his test. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got to take my 10-year-old son to the junior high school at which I teach. When my students questioned him about what I was like at home, he told the entire class: "Well, she farts all the time." FML
Today, I got a call from my son’s teacher. Apparently, while doing a test, he responded to the question, "Predict how the government will change in the next ten years" with, "I’m not psychic." FML
Today, I got a call from my 8-year-old's 3rd grade teacher. Apparently a question went around class asking, "Why do you think you were put on this Earth?", and my son answered, "My dad says it's because I swam the fastest." FML
Today, my son's teacher asked him what he wanted to be when he grew up. He put down "unemployed". FML
Today, my dad had fun embarrassing me as much as possible in my parent-teacher conference by moaning whenever the teacher talked. FML
Today, while grading my kindergarteners' spelling tests, one kid spelled all the words wrong, including his name. FML
Today, I got my dad to fill in a questionnaire my teacher handed out on Friday. One question said, "I would like to see my son/daughter ______." My dad wrote in the blank space: "Less often." FML
Today, I got sent to the principal's office because my Dad decided that instead of signing his name, he would sign, "Ms. Bigtits", because he wanted to make sure the teachers were paying attention to what their students handed in. FML
Today, I was a TA for a history class and the class was taking a test. About halfway through, I noticed one kid had a small piece of paper in his hand. I ran up the row, grabbed his test, and ripped it into four pieces. Then I took the note from him. It said "I believe in you, -Mom." FML
Today, I had to pick up my son from school because he was constantly talking about his "Giant pen." In mid-July, I got him a giant-sized pen (writing utensil) and he liked it very much. Apparently, one of the teachers had their mind in the gutter and thought he was talking about… you know what. FML
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Top comments
hellogoodbye1996 6
so it was a parent teacher conference because he did exceedingly well on his test?
issoz 10
This kid sure knows about life!
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Comments (530)
borntoperform 14
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Chuck Norris is the answer to everything.
illmatic2 16
Chuck Norris < Jack Bauer Just sayin'
tencalories 3
who
laminscate8 0
MIKE JONES
issoz 10
Yes... who?
Fuk_Your_Life 2
Shut up
staceysgenesis16 0
24?
ak7477 9
that kid is awesome..he will go far in life.
futtbuck101 1
smart kid
kybad1980 0
I always ask myself WWCND?
bjohnst12 0
I hate chuck Norris jokes
sterlingarcher 1
how is this a bad thing?!?!?!?!?
thesunsetglow_fml 8
Chuck Norris hates your jokes too.
Frelling 0
The thing I find most interesting about the Chuck Norris joke, is the fact that the original intended irony has been lost somewhere in the meme haze.
knight0748 5
It's obvious that the kid wants to say: Chuck Norris doesn't need to answer the questions, Chuck Norris IS the answer to all questions.
sterlingarcher 1
and that's a bad thing how?!?
claireful 4
chuck norris is a multiple martial arts world champion, actor, republican, and christian. he is probably most known for his role as Texas ranger from 1993-2001. he started the kickstart anti drug program that teaches kids how to do martial arts as an alternative to drugs.
docscientist 10
Thank you, 141, I don't have access to google.
OrgasmicBunnies 9
George thorogood destroys chuck Norris
PurpleRae420 0
Haha kids these days gotta love em
rallets 23
chuck norris doesnt sleep, he waits chuck norris sleeps with a nightlight, not because hes afraid of the dark but because the dark is afraid of him when chuck norris does a push up, hes not pushing himself up, hes pushing the earth down. chuck norris can divide by zero and count to infinity chuck norris went to the virgin islands, its now just called the islands chuck norris can swim through land chuck norris can slam a revolving door meh, plenty more :D lol
bballchamp43 0
So the teacher was worried about his automatic 200% on the test?
Bano360 25
NO you get over 9000%
fuckyalol 0
ur hot
hellogoodbye1996 6
so it was a parent teacher conference because he did exceedingly well on his test?
techweed 12
Giggity!!!!
flamegrilled123 3
unless the question is "what is always the answer"
Every1luvsfmls 6
chuck Norris wrote it for him
balest22 0
I once put that for a reason why dinosaurs are excinct
omg_a_BALLOON 0
So does that mean Chuck Norris is the answer to the question "What isn't the answer to everything?"
funnybunnylola 0
what is pi? chuck norris whos your mom? chuck norris see! hes a smart kid
RoseRed28 0
This is so true if people would just forget knowing everthing they would know Chuck Norris IS everything lol
whosechairisthat 0
ur not funny
shelbygordon44 7
win. Nuff said.
FrescoLove 10
WINNING.!
JuanGotti 0
chuck norris can take his red wiskers and tickle my balls. thats why bruce lee whooped his ass in that old movie
EatnBeef 7
chuck Norris got in a knife fight once. the knife lost.
Infamous_Hawk 6
Some magicians can walk on water. Chuck Norris can swim through land.
PurpIe 3
Charlie sheen Is the answer, he's bi- winning
hunter989 0
Agreed what's the problem shouldn't he have aced it?
GuessWhatKids 13
Yes, Chuck Norris is the answer to that question because Chuck Norris isn't the answer to that question.
DboyCorleone 0
Bruce lee kicked chuck norris ass. But seeing as chuck is still alive he is the victor
heysup28 0
Bruce lee kicked Chuck's ass because the movie was not primarily intended for the American audience....just sayin
jesicaacosta 8
HE WATCH RY WILLIAM JOHNSON.
xzadious 0
I'm so ******* tired of you idiots who think that some old Ginger is the biggest badass in the world. He is a ******* old man who could get his ass kicked by simple tasks. so please stop glorifying this washed out C list actor.
ohcrap007 1
u sir r amazing
CsDy1395 6
he better have got 100%. No, scratch that, he better have got 200%.
cavalos94 0
so he got an A+? I don't see the problem. you should be proud!
alexfmllemon 0
chuck Norris can slam revolving doors....chuck Norris doesn't get wet. wet gets Chuck Norris....when chuck Norris does a press up he doesn't push up he pushes the world down
MatheusRajuidas 5
And that is the trickiest special-effect cinematography have ever known.
cocobulla1 4
gawd, bet he watches ask swifty, for all people who don't know swifty aka swift karate chop aka Matthew Brian brown, check him out on u tube
whoa_is_failz 6
chuck norris attacks sharks when he smells them bleed and he doesnt battle, he just allows you to lose.
Bstaut 8
Chuck Norris found out that nothing could kill him, so he tracked down Nothing and killed it.
pandemic0774 2
Don't hate on chuck norris cause you're not as awesome as him
ButteredMuffin 3
Smart kid.
kbobcat 0
So she Wanted to congratulate him on making a perfect score
CrassKal 27
I did this once, except I was in high school. My friend managed to BS the teacher and get us an A.
Colten0611 5
I agree with Juan.
giggitygoo12 7
U sir have heard of epic rap battles of history
trulymickeyj 13
F*ck yeah.
iAmScrubs 19
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
If there is one thing I have learned in life, it is that Chuck Norris is ALWAYS the answer.
iAmScrubs 19
Aww, I thought my comment was clever until I saw #1 commented the same..:(
yohooooooo 5
yeah bro lets comment on your own status.
YacL 15
This isn't Facebook...
moosemonkey1000 6
chuck norris is a pussy.
Blazingcrono 6
Chuck Norris *gets pussy. Fixed it for you.
ImaWiseGuy 5
chuck norris an superman once fought on a bet...the loser had to wear his underwear outside his pants...
SeedlessMe 13
Wtf are you talking about 25? He was commenting about his comment, not his status.. Perfectly acceptable. :)
oemgeezz 0
right
oemgeezz 0
right
robotiick 12
right
thefriendlyc 0
right
1215116a 14
right
Upon_A_Burning_B 0
right
FinnaHolla 0
right
princessRiRi97 0
right.... why are we doing this
YacL 15
Combo breaker
omg_a_BALLOON 0
right
notsocrazee 0
left
notsocrazee 0
left
BlackOpsPWNR 0
forward.
Goldenchest 14
up
overload390 2
down
PrincessesCrown 17
over and around
gemzroxya 0
backward
BWill9014 4
to the field of brown cows
1waytoolive 1
Shit I'm out of directions!!
EvilPotato 15
OP's son is winning.
CryMoreFMLs 15
WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE
XHereNumberThere 0
@princessRiRi "I'm amazing at everything I do..." ROFLMAO! Fail.
awesomeloser14 0
right, cuz chuck Norris is all we need to know ^.^
CateXOX 0
right... Am I too late?
Jenna_Tell_Yuh 0
I wanna be in on this.. so here I go, right :)
tpike1296 11
diagonal left (
UHGG 0
right
atacker49 0
chuck norris
agaba 0
up your but an around the coner :D
shanny998 3
dang that was mine..
Waffl3z 8
right.. well i feel "kewl"
xXSillyLoveXx 0
I'm gonna shit kick you into last night. Chuck Norris can do that, right? Right.
jwarwick 0
I wish I was that kids teacher. "A" all the way.
tomtom88_fml 0
win
NinjaKat99 0
right. (combo starter)
fluffyrocka 0
Over the river and through the woods bitch!
xSonic 9
Punch a hoe in the tit
issoz 10
This kid sure knows about life!
lntreis_fml 0
Seriously, this kid is my hero!
staceysgenesis16 0
ahh, of course.
ItsOkayImWhite 0
agreed.
ImaWiseGuy 5
this kids learned all the necessary qualities it takes to make it in this world.....
instnt1nfction 17
bear wins my picture says it all
shannybannyy123 4
HAHA , your comment made me laugh
deaper 16
You're an idiot. Your comment says it all!
issoz 10
@181: Aw thanks darling.
CateXOX 0
149- EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY!
sterlingarcher 1
haha agrees
Upon_A_Burning_B 0
"I wear a black belt on the beard that I grow on mu dick."
Lucidium 0
can't wait till chuck prick dies hard.
mrbattleman 10
I don't see the FML here
beastin34 0
DumbAss teacher Chuck Norris is the answer to all questions
risforrrrcuhh 0
That would be funny if it hadn't already been said at least twice.
Andreeuhhh 0
It's still funny.
WOGBRO 6
83-lol profile about you: I like reading other people's misfortune before bed it gives me happy dreams.
mylifesucksserio 15
Your kid is a genius
brodymc 0
ur kid should be named enistine
Blake4477 0
It's Einstein lol
Mitcha857 0
so he scored 110% on this test right?
missy_lynn012 0
there used to be a street called Chuck Norris, but they had to change it, because nobody crosses Chuck Norris and lives to talk about it.
cudi504 4
OP raised that kid well...
CateXOX 0
56- That's kind of ironic.
BBBBOOOOYYYU 3
ur fat and funny profit pic
Jenna_Tell_Yuh 0
203- please stop
zbennett 0
203 - I love fat people.... but you... not so much.
Mitcha857 0
203 you've managed to combine the 3 things I hate in life: kids, fat people, and wiggers
traze 7
Chuck is always correct. Under his beard is another fist.
Lunchbox3 0
what beard? he shaved it dumbass.
traze 7
Yeah...like I give a ****.
ImaWiseGuy 5
chuck norris didn't shave his beard, it's just off fighting bad guys at the moment dumbass!
alex1432 9
for most men, their left ******** is bigger than their right one. for chuck Norris, each one I'd bigger that the other.
ImaWiseGuy 5
there were no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, Chuck Norris lives in Oklahoma.....
viastarr 0
^like:)
instnt1nfction 17
Chuck Norris died 20 years ago, death just didn't have the courage to tell him that
ImaWiseGuy 5
after a long night of drinking chuck norris doesn't throw up, he throws down.....
rawr9able 4
Chuck Norris went back in time and ****** his own mother. He is now his own father.
instnt1nfction 17
dinosaurs laughed at Chuck Norris
LanaBabii252 0
lol family guy
t765234 10
Jesus could walk on water, Chuck Norris swims through land.
zbennett 0
hey wiseguy you are a dumbass, and traze your an idiot. maybe you both should commit suicide.
jezebel1979 3
funny
HannahForbesxo 13
With logic like that, your kid is going to go far in life.
jvillan87 5
You're damn right he is! I did the same thing on my SAT's and scored a 2400!
jvillan87 5
You're damn right he is! I did the same thing on my SAT's and scored a 2400!
traze 7
Yeah and then you woke up with a slap from reality.
1waytoolive 1
WTF???!?? This kid should be in gifted classes!
Batmon8523 0
honorary doctorate.....