Today, I had sex with my girlfriend. This is the seventh time in a row that she hasn't moved or made any noises the entire way through. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I made love to my girlfriend. I penetrated her for a while, then stopped to get my breath back... She carried on moaning even though I'd stopped moving. FML
Today, my girlfriend fell asleep during sex. This isn't the first time. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were making out, and about to have sex, when she asked me to "do that thing we did yesterday". We haven't had sex in 6 days. FML
Today, in the middle of having sex, my girlfriend stopped moaning. I asked what was wrong. She said, "I'm bored." FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. Its was pretty good and heavy and she was moaning nicely. Then her moans got softer and softer and then nothing. She fell asleep. FML
Today, my girlfriend were having sex. When I finished, she whispered in my ear, "30 seconds." FML
Today, my girlfriend of a year and I had sex for the first time in several weeks due to relationship problems; I came in less than 10 seconds. We're still having problems. FML
Today, my girlfriend said she didn't want to have sex because it takes too long. FML
Today my girlfriend actually moved during sex. I love her, but she's so awful in bed. FML
Today, I learned two things. First, my girlfriend loves sex. Second, I'm practically the only one she hasn't had sex with in the 2 months we've been dating. FML
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Top comments
kg163401 0
I dub thee corpse ******
yazah 0
Try deflating her and then blowing her back up. :)
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Comments (404)
KickItHigh 32
Maybe she was tired... Or she was sleeping with her eyes open.
cassiejadex 1
sex. you're doing it wrong.
ChrisLTC 3
some people pay good money for that treatment!
shutterbug1190 14
Uh so your girlfriend, she happen to be made of plastic? Fyl. That's just awkward...
llCHR15ll 0
lol, she's a blow up doll
anonymou5e 6
No rlly
Sheilatakeabow 0
You sure she's not asleep?
kmsmith87 2
I feel ya dude, I had an ex like that
Vito38 0
so you suck at sex to.
bentleysdad11611 0
and that's when u move on to the next one bud ! seriously I've been there and maybe you'll get lucky like me and find a girl that makes your head ******* spin
kingtz 6
Probably time to reinflate your "girlfriend" so she bounces sounds more.
khaya 9
I don't think she quite understands how necrophilia works. Next time you try playing dead.
cetlawizard 15
lol..love that answer!
dkf295 2
Whine more, your girlfriend/fiance of 5 years could not put out.
escapedfromexico 0
blow up dolls are not girlfriends tho they might make vibrating ones to make it seem like its moving