Today, I found out I have an STD, courtesy of my girlfriend. Funnily enough, she was clean when we first started dating. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Because of him
Today, I broke up with my boyfriend. I also found out I have an STD. I was clean before we dated. FML
Today, I found out the girl I gave my virginity to gave me gonorrhea. FML
Damn
Today, I went to the free clinic down the street to prove to my girlfriend I don't have any STDs so that we can finally have sex. Turns out I have one. FML
Today, I went to the doctor's thinking I had a UTI. Turns out I have an STD. FML
Wrap it up
Today, I found out that my boyfriend cheated on me by testing myself for STIs/STDs and got a positive result for chlamydia. FML
Today, I found out my ex gave me an STI. Today I also found out I'm allergic to the medication. FML
Today, I found out I have genital herpes. I'm a virgin. FML
Thanks, I hate it!
Today, I found out my long distance girlfriend gave me chlamydia, after I spent $1k to fly her out for a week. I paid for an STD delivery. FML
Today, while with my new boyfriend, my ex called to tell me I needed to go to the doctor to get checked out. He had gotten an STD from the girl he cheated on me with. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that he may have an STD. When I asked who he was with before me, and where it might have come from, he listed off almost every single one of my friends. FML
Top comments
garadan1 18
Ouch.. Sorry Op! Time to get a new girl?
Black_Ink 20
Why shouldn't you eat your girlfriend's peas? Because they are herpes
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Comments (137)
garadan1 18
Ouch.. Sorry Op! Time to get a new girl?
LuckBeNimble 19
...and penicillin.
cinskeep43 15
a faithful girl.... even tho that's a rarity nowadays
BigLatchZatch 14
Preferably, no new girl, just dump current one. That way you get no bitch and you don't spread the STD
jake_braves 25
I hope it wasn't aids OP! Or some terrible life threatening STD. I agree that it's time for a new non-cheating gf.
headofmedusa 15
You don't just catch AIDS. You contract HIV. AIDS is the aftermath.
garrett_8614 14
Well hopefully it's one of the curable STDs.
Mauskau 36
Faithful girls are a rarity nowadays? That's funny...
vikky538 29
and some condoms..
rickyvil 11
getting a new girl prolly isnt easy. hard enough to get a date without an std.
LuckBeNimble 19
63: why is that funny? it's statistically true. O:
Vegetarian27 24
It's funny because guys cheat more than girls.
AlphaOmega0106 18
#103 Men don't actually cheat more often then women, the levels are about even. Women usually just react a lot more explosively in most cases.
silverstream20 20
First of all 103 that is nothing more than an unsubstantiated opinion and by no means a fact. Also,the ratio of woman cheating to men cheating is more or less equal. Get actual facts before mouthing off on something you don't know.
rickyvil 11
can we just admit that both sexes are awful and that's why relationships are terrible
rickyvil 11
#101 http://www.herpes.org.uk/coldsores.html
sjbartholome 14
funny how you criticized #103 for stating an opinion by yet all you did was SAY your opinion was a fact. So any statement that doesn't agree with yours is automatically an opinion and your statements are always facts? Invalid much?
silverstream20 20
Read my comment again 124. I did not say my opinion was fact. I simply said that the ratio of men and woman cheating is more or less the same. No where did I say it is absolute. As for 103 they said, that it is funny that men cheat more than woman which implies that it is a fact. it is not a fact it is an opinion same as mine.
imbatmanfir 15
Faithful people are a rarity, not just girls
AnonPotato 16
OP said she was clean when they started dating, and take note of that because it meant she was sleeping with someone else who had an STD.
RedMarie 6
Take into consideration that a lot of STD's can stay dormant for long periods of time. That being said it could've originated from you...
sarah5745 41
I think that op's girlfriend just cheated on him..
ndpw 3
very true!!!
colton_colton 50
Taking into consider you're an idiot, I'm gonna go w/ the girl cheated on OP
RedMarie 6
At least I don't look like a gremlin, STD's are definitely something you'll never have to worry about.
R3TROxLOV3 32
You *say* you don't look like a gremlin, but we have no way of knowing. How can you diss someone over appearances when you don't even have a picture up?
RedMarie 6
won't allow me to update my DP :s
mip_92 29
@2, I think you meant that OP was asymptomatic. I'm also going to go with the girlfriend cheating. Most likely, OP would have gotten tested with his girlfriend and would have also been STD free.
Enslaved 38
I've always heard that if you have a cold sore (which is caused by the herpes virus) and perform oral sex then it can caused genital herpes? The girlfriend might not have cheated, or am I misinformed?
shampuukitty 18
untrue. two different types of herpes.
rickyvil 11
you can get herpes from oral. don't ever teach a sex end class.
OhWhoCares 42
@2: Not if OP and girlfriend have been together for like 5 years or something... Hence the FML. Pretty sure one of them would figure it out if infection occurred prior to that.
VeganVampyre 27
93, the question wasn't "can you get herpes from oral sex" it was "can you get genital herpes from a cold sore" and the answer to that is, in fact, no. Cold sores are caused by a different strain of the herpes virus and you cannot get genital herpes from that strain, nor can you get a cold sore on your genitals, so there's no need to worry if you/ your partner have a cold sore.
OhLookItsTonia 3
Maybe it wasn't herpes, though.
CaptainCookie 8
HSV1 can affect both the mouth and genitals.
onepotato2potato 0
Also keep in mind that you can catch some of dirty toilets.
garadan1 18
I kinda hope this is sarcasm.. It's entirely untrue. You can't catch an STD from a toilet seat.
Faeryl_fml 6
Actually, there are some that you can catch from indirect contact. Horrible to consider, but if a herpes sore is open and the fluid transfers to the seat and then to another persons skin....and herpes is just one possibility. Never say never. But those cases are rare, his girlfriend is probably just a ****.
slyde32 12
not impossible, but extremely rare. you'd have to use the toilet immediately after someone infected had just used it, or at least that was what I heard from someone who should know this stuff
KeinBaum 12
Well, you'd have to grind your gentials all over the toilet seat, just as previous, infected person who used the toilet. That's not exactly standart toilet behaviour.
LuckBeNimble 19
47: what do you mean that's not standard toilet behavior?!
martin8337 36
It jumped right up and grabbed the meat. Caught it from the toilet seat.
trina0626 3
not just toilet seats.us girls like to try on clothes before buying them swim suits and stuff like that. I was told u can get stuff from that to. I dont know how true it is but I just try to know my size buy it and wash it before wearing. I think everyone should. u know just in case.
Rizzen 27
what a cheating *****, leave her as fast as you can. im sorry op.
Helpfulman 17
Hey, no need to come to conclusions, maybe she got chlamydia from a tractor seat.
Rizzen 27
well, shit it could also be from a door handle too :o
sayyestothedress 24
It could be from ANYTHING! So I think OP should stop jumping to conclusion and talk to his girlfriend
TrippingOnAcid 29
Someone always comments "*ex girlfriend" so I'll save you all the trouble
FmyL6 19
Slap that ho
feloxi 4
and get free assault charges!
junkman6 22
Don't slap her. Call Ray Rice. Too soon?
taylorpric3 9
looks like your not the only boyfriend.
EvilTurtle 35
looks like you don't know the difference between your and you're
PenguinBitch 44
**** your life op. Oh wait, you have std's, never mind...
Black_Ink 20
Why shouldn't you eat your girlfriend's peas? Because they are herpes
lulinator 40
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Best joke ever. Never heard that before. Thank you for the belly laugh.
tony1891 22
now every time i have peas with a meal i will be thinking of this joke. epic!
redstone7693 29
Haha good pun
marieisabelle 7
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Funnily?
RedMarie 6
Fun-ni-ly adverb In a strange or amusing way. So, yes. Funnily.