Today, I learned just how “old fashioned” my girlfriend is when we talked about marriage. She said it should be approached as a logically as possible and that I make an ideal partner, based on my ability to provide. And while she sees sex as uninteresting, it is a wifely duty she’s willing to do. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I proposed to my girlfriend but she refused. Why? Because instead of asking her, “Will you marry me?” I asked her to “be my wife.” She flew off the handle because “my wife” suggests she would be mine, like ownership, like domestic slavery. I don’t want to marry her anymore; she’s nuts. FML
Today, my girlfriend asked why we weren't married yet. I guess I don't find her alcoholism, lack of income, constant insults, references to cheating, and general entitlement behaviour very wifey material. FML
Today, I overheard my wife telling our daughter that getting married young is like a “long, slow, painful dream-killing death, played out over decades.” We got married when I was 18 and she was 17. FML
Today, I asked my girlfriend's dad for permission to take her hand in marriage. He said no, because he doesn't want her marrying a "sexist idiot who treats her like property", which he thinks asking permission amounts to, then told me to grow up. FML
Today, my wife admitted that she settled for me because I had a good job and made enough for her to live comfortably. I shouldn't worry though, because now she's old enough that she won't be able to pull anyone more exciting or attractive. FML
Today, my wife has been trying to talk our daughter out of getting married, because it would be throwing her life away when she’s so young, and it would make her miserable in the long run. It’s getting a little hard not to take it personally since we’ve been married for over 30 years. FML
Today, I proposed to my girlfriend of six years. She got mad at me, saying she is too young to get married and that I was trying to ruin her career. She is 32 and works part-time at a grocery store. FML
Today, I went out to dinner with the girl of my dreams. Wanting to get to know her, I asked her what she’s looking for in a relationship. She scoffed and said how relationships are for the weak and that it’s better to not catch feelings to avoid being hurt. I guess I don’t have a chance. FML
Today, after getting married recently and my wife making a ton of promises about "things" we'd do, she admitted she won't do any of them and said I should just accept that she lied. FML
Today, my partner and I were spending quality time with a newly single friend. She quoted some song lyrics, saying, "If you want to be happy for the rest of your life, make an ugly woman your wife…" We all laughed, and then my partner said, "Boy, you got THAT right." FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
alex_jaguara 33
Run, you fool!
Roxy Rousseau 11
She literally told you you’re main appeal was your a bank account, and she doesn’t even enjoy having sex with you. Now is the time to make wise decisions.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (20)
ahabsfan 17
In the kitchen, barefoot and pregnant.
alex_jaguara 33
Run, you fool!
genuinegoodguy 9
Ex-girlfriend surely?
AmbrosiaFan 19
Run. If she can't feel an emotional attachment to you... get out.
Charlie Given 28
yeah that sounds like your typical brainwashing from religious doctrine or she's a lonely sociopath.
RichardPencil 32
Hah! You found an honest one! Most of them pretend to like sex until a few years into the marriage.
TxKitten 8
Not all women are like that. My husband gets sex from me whenever he wants, and I often initiate too. That didn't change just because we hot married.
theyellowgoose 3
or the men stop trying so the women get bored. OR their lives are to stressful from kids, work, house...
RichardPencil 32
"hot married?" Your typos are hilarious!
icalledhisname 12
Wow, it’s time for you to get a new life because the people you have experience with are lame, apparently. My sex drive is higher than my partner’s, I very much enjoy sex and I have for years. My friends are like this as well.
RichardPencil 32
Some of you are taking my comment way too seriously. I wish there was a Sarcasm font.
Roxy Rousseau 11
She literally told you you’re main appeal was your a bank account, and she doesn’t even enjoy having sex with you. Now is the time to make wise decisions.
Chazzster 32
If this is her attitude now, it will get worse. Run away, drop her, find someone compatible.
TxKitten 8
Hopefully you're good enough at sex that if you do get married she'll see it as fun. And BTW, that's not "old fashioned." That's being raised by prudes who see sex as a chire and have taught her that.
Iamthebanzai22 21
Run. Run fast, run far. I have been in a marriage where there were religious issues and no real sexual attraction. It was the worst 3 years of my life.