Today, the only person who remembered my birthday was my stalker ex. He left condoms, birth control, furry handcuffs, and a lingerie set in my mailbox, with a note saying to prepare for our anniversary. We went out for a week. In sixth grade. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, it was my birthday. The only person that remembered was my creepy stalker. FML
Today, is my birthday. Everyone forgot except my stalker. He rang the door bell the second it turned 12:00. FML
Today, it was my birthday. The only call I received was from my stalker, who sang happy birthday with a japanese accent and asked if he could be my "special present". FML
Today, it's my birthday. My ex just sent me a text. I read it, happy he had remembered. He wanted me to know he has a new girlfriend. FML
Today, my estranged, psycho ex called me ten times and left belligerent messages because I didn't send him anything for his birthday yesterday like I used to. This is the same man who never gave me a birthday gift, text, or even a Happy Birthday wish during our 7 years together. FML
Today, it's my 22nd birthday. The only person who remembered was the dentist who sent me a postcard in the mail. I stopped going to him four years ago. FML
Today, my creepy, stalker ex-girlfriend was given an anonymous love letter. She's convinced it's from me. FML
Today, my family surprised me for my birthday by showing up with a chocolate cake and my ex-boyfriend from back home. They all forgot I'm allergic to chocolate, that I broke up with him about a year ago, and that he’s been trying to win me back ever since. FML
Today, it's my birthday. I got a phone call from my high school bully, to remind me that he'll always be able to find me and do whatever he wants to me. He does this every year. I turn 34 today. FML
Today, I had a surprise birthday party thrown in my honor. All of my friends and family had been invited, and all of the details were perfect. Who threw the party for me? My ex-girlfriend who I dumped last week for "not being thoughtful enough." FML
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Top comments
Marjo86 29
Have you contacted the police? If not, I really think you should. Also: happy birthday!
kayakninja 6
Happy birthday! Yeah, that's actionable. Call the police.
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Comments (8)
Marjo86 29
Have you contacted the police? If not, I really think you should. Also: happy birthday!
kayakninja 6
Happy birthday! Yeah, that's actionable. Call the police.
RichardPencil 32
Hey, give the guy a chance! What could possibly go wrong? If nobody else is paying attention to you, maybe you ought to give some to someone who spends so extravagantly on you. Your grandkids are gonna love this story!
mekiswrite 21
I'm curious as to how long ago 6th grade was for you...
core01 30
I love how absolutely nothing he bought was related to you specifically. Even your stalker doesn't care enough to get to know you.
Ksweety_fml 27
How did he knows where you live? And you should call the police, be sounds creepy.
Matthew Irmen 11
You went out for a week in sixth grade and you call him an ex? Wow!