Today, my roommate let out a blood-curdling scream in the bathroom. I ran in to see what was going on, only to find her sitting on the toilet, topless. Turned out she'd tried to pierce her own tit using a clothespin and a needle. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I woke up to a blood-curdling scream from the bathroom. I jumped out of bed in panic and rushed into the bathroom, only to see my sister limping around in the nude. She'd just jumped out of the shower because someone had flushed the toilet downstairs. FML
Today, I walked into a public restroom and, to my utter surprise, saw a lady squeezing blood out of used tampons. We made eye contact, she continued, and I ran out in horror. FML
Today, I came home and heard a noise in the bathroom. I figured it was my girlfriend, so I went over and as the door closed, I told her not to close it because I'd seen her beautiful body before. Turns out it was our roommate. FML
Today, I came home and heard a noise in the bathroom. I figured it was my girlfriend, so I went over and as the door closed, I told her not to close the door as I've seen her beautiful body before. Turns out it was our roommate. FML
Today, my roommate decided to prank me by leaving a fake suicide note on the bathroom door and lying motionless in a bathtub full of water and red coloring. When I went, horrified, to take a closer look, he lunged at me and screamed. I was so scared I pissed myself. FML
Today, my roommate thought it would be funny to throw my cat in the bathtub while I was in it. I had to go to the emergency room to get my penis stitched up. FML
Today, I witnessed my roommate pop a blister with a skewer and casually place it back in the kitchen drawer, before wiping what seeped out with the teatowel. FML
Today, I heard a blood-curdling scream from the bathroom. I discovered my husband, naked and with his pants around his ankles, standing in the bathtub and pointing at a cockroach on the ground. After disposing of the body, I had to stay and comfort him while he wiped his ass. FML
Today, I got so bored that I drew a face on my index finger, and made a video of me garrotting it with a string. I ended up rupturing a blood vessel, and had to think up a cover story for my girlfriend to explain my screaming. FML
Today, one of my dorm-mates started laughing at a bra hanging to dry in our bathroom. She thought it was hilarious that a college student would still have "such small, baby tits." It was my bra. FML
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Top comments
wobbly1 16
How long has she had a drinking problem?
MDoremis 38
Who in their right mind does that?! Reading that made my own **** hurt. Geeze.
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Comments (125)
flashback.miss 28
was she drunk?!
1dvos_grl3 21
My attention went far away from your comment and straight to your picture..
Classy_Sassy15 18
I pierced my ear just because I could.
jks0308 22
but that's your ear not your tit!!
Ohshitdude 21
I've seen plenty of people attempt and fail horribly at piercings without being drunk. It's quite comical actually.
DoctorRoche 11
Search King Roche on YouTube!
Darkcamzy 10
It was cheaper than going somewhere tho so that's all that matters right?
TrippingOnAcid 29
#72 I don't think people appreciated the sarcasm of your comment. Better luck next time.
justinemalang1 14
Drunk or not, that's way out of the line.
abc2601 20
Is she stupid?!
CurvyisCool 22
Obviously
superwhovian 16
Yes
Madrias 36
Painfully stupid.
StaazMon 9
Special kind of stupid
CurvyisCool 22
Well... Did it work?
DoctorRoche 11
Please Sub to King Roche on YouTube
Kyze_Ninja 10
65, no one wants to go to your YouTube account, advertise elsewhere
laurenswims13 24
I have no words..
photographer49 22
#4 then you didn't need to comment
extrasnipes 22
Well actually you had 4...
wobbly1 16
How long has she had a drinking problem?
tossaway2321 5
I'm thinking she takes things a lot worse than alcohol
MDoremis 38
Who in their right mind does that?! Reading that made my own **** hurt. Geeze.
Enslaved 38
I was curious and just finished watching a DIY video of a guy piercing his own nipple. He was shaking like crazy from the pain but it looks like he did a great job and took precautions to prevent infection.
PerditaDessa 38
I had one of mine done in the shop and the other I did at home. It doesn't hurt that badly. The biggest part of doing them at home is making sure everything is clean enough.
cre8tvlylicnsd 14
You probably have a high pain tolerance. I have a very low pain tolerance and fear infections. My piercings were all done at an APP certified shop. Kudos to you! I'm not that brave... ?
Arwen_Evenstar 37
Honestly, risking am infection or damage if you place it badly, especially somewhere like a nipple seems very stupid to save probably 20 quid (or the Denmark equivalent)? I'm not sure how much piercings cost there.
cari_cat 19
Glad I'm not the only one who felt the pain reading this! So much could go wrong and its not even expensive or embarrassing to get a professional to do it :/
arilsanders 13
Can I see it
Johnnycake23 42
Talk about a titty situation! ? ?
Miss_Chevious 37
worst pun ever
KeannaLove 32
Definitely wasn't the breast.
Epickitty58 29
You're trying way too hard to make that work. Face facts-it never will.
photographer49 22
#8 you took an already crappy pun and made it worse
Johnnycake23 42
I'm sorry everyone! I have brought great shame to my family!
Retaheki 27
You have brung the greatu DISHONOR on your famiry. You must commit seppuku.
AlwaysWatching 27
No pun intended, #32?
brandoneyez1 25
The scream should have been the first clue this wast a good idea.
Llama_Man2000 26
At least it's better than finding her in a seriously badge threatening state.
sstahpp 33
Cute :/
MyDadLeftMeInKFC 21
I'm pretty sure that piercing yourself while on the toilet breaks a majority of rules professionals have to follow.