Today, my very top boyfriend told me he was ready to try being the bottom. He moaned and complained about the pain the entire time, even though I got less than 2 inches in, and then got angry I was taking so long to cum. I thought I was the drama queen in our house. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting heated. We were having a lot of fun until I decided I wanted to be on top. He instantly got soft. FML
Today, my boyfriend informed me that from now on during sex, I have to be on top at all times, saying I need the exercise more than him. As offensive as this was, I was actually happy because he's crap on top. FML
Today, I wanted to be on top during sex, after always being on the bottom. Afterwards, he said, "You're never riding me like that again." FML
Today, I finally felt ready to give my boyfriend a blowjob. Barely 20 seconds in, he said: "I'll be honest, this is TERRIBLE." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, when he finished, seemingly angry. He stood there naked complaining for 15 minutes about how our sex sucked. Then he demanded that I dress him, because "it's my fault his clothes were off in the first place". FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, and after 10 seconds he gave up and said "This is more tiring than I expected". FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that I needed to moan louder so that he knew I was enjoying it. Reluctantly, I put a little 'umph' into my moans during the next round. He pulled out and said, "It's just awkward now." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, and, in the heat of the moment, I cried out for him to go harder. He then had an exasperated expression on his face, and, in an adamantly offended tone, said, "Don't tell me what to do." Then he left the room. FML
Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. I went slowly to build up the excitement, and I thought it was working really well, until he sighed, "For fuck's sake, it's a dick, not a shotgun." and told me to stop embarrassing him. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. I was making a list of things to do tomorrow while faking an orgasm when I realize my boyfriend had finished about two minutes ago. He's pissed. FML
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Top comments
BurnInDemonFire 39
To be fair, not everyone feels comfortable having something stuck in their asshole. He could have toned down the melodrama, but you probably should have started with a finger or a toy to make sure he liked it before you tried your ****. These words of wisdom have been brought to you by hetero dude #5396432088, and Chik-Fil-A.
Iamthebanzai22 21
Anal is not supposed to be painful if you do it right. Open him up with a few fingers, LUBE UP, and then work your way in.
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Comments (6)
BurnInDemonFire 39
To be fair, not everyone feels comfortable having something stuck in their asshole. He could have toned down the melodrama, but you probably should have started with a finger or a toy to make sure he liked it before you tried your ****. These words of wisdom have been brought to you by hetero dude #5396432088, and Chik-Fil-A.
Iamthebanzai22 21
Anal is not supposed to be painful if you do it right. Open him up with a few fingers, LUBE UP, and then work your way in.
BurnInDemonFire 39
You watch too much ****. Enjoying anal doesn't happen by magic, especially if you've never been the bottom before.
Jaymail 19
Anal REALLY is uncomfortable unless the person is able to completely relax. Otherwise the Anus gets really tight and fights against ANYTHING being inserted there. That’s what’s really uncomfortable. Ever seen 2 moose’s with full antlers pushing against each other? Look it up on YouTube if you haven’t.
revolutionbabe 15
I recommend using some silicone lube that has a relaxer in it. It will relax the muscles and not hurt as much. I use Swiss Navy Anal Lubricant which has a relaxer. I hope he continues trying to be bottom
therainbowfaerie_ 8
If I'm gonna top we do oral and small toys for a long time before we get to it or he just isnt relaxed enough, sounds like you guys just need to slow things down next time you try
Bamisoep 9
The guy is a wimp. Drama queen for sure.
ptsdsucks 18
or maybe just isn't into it. they aren't a wimp for not enjoying anal. most people don't