Today, for our one year anniversary, my boyfriend decided to make me a patchwork blanket. The thing is, the patches were stains from bedsheets from where the 'wet spot' was. He thought it was romantic. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend and I celebrated our five-year anniversary. I got him a new flat-screen TV. He got me toilet seat cover. FML
Today, my boyfriend came over to celebrate our anniversary. He had a card written in crayon with my name spelled wrong, and a basket I had seen his mother throw in the trash filled with flower petals ripped from my mom's garden. Our anniversary was 3 days ago. FML
Today, my boyfriend thought it'd be romantic to take me to a strip club for our 1-year anniversary. FML
Today, I thought about my boyfriend and all the things we used to do together years ago. Today, I also spent the day doing my now husband's laundry and watching him sit on the couch with his hand inside his underwear. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend he needed to wash his sheets more often after I discovered the same wet spot from the last time I slept over. He shrugged and said, “What’s the big deal babe? It’s your spot.” It’s been over two weeks. FML
Today, it is my boyfriend's and my one year anniversary. I bought him a Playstation 2. As soon as I gave it to him, he went straight to set it up without giving me anything. I said "What about me?" He walked over to me, gave me a kiss and said "I love it when you buy me things for no reason." FML
Today, for our anniversary, I had made a small treasure hunt for my boyfriend, tying roses with notes of poetry to lampposts across campus to lead him to where we would have a romantic dinner. He couldn't find it because people had stolen the roses, or simply ripped them to pieces and thrown them away. FML
Today, per my boyfriend's request, I bought some lingerie. He got so excited when he saw me, he ripped it off me right away. After we were done he used it to clean up. I essentially bought a $40 cum rag. FML
Today, my 26-year-old boyfriend came to my apartment to spend the night for the first time. He brought a "blankie" that he insisted was the only thing that could help him sleep. That "blankie" was his ex-girlfriend's silk nightgown. FML
Today, it's my birthday. I told my boyfriend I wanted to feel special even if for just one day. He said he would do the laundry for me. FML
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Top comments
RESTAREA 0
He cut up a bunch of perfectly good bed sheets? You guys have done it on enough bed sheets to make a patchwork out of it? You don't wash the sheets afterward? This is disturbing on many levels... Something is wrong with the both of you
coopcas 0
Give him a sweater you knit out of the pubes he makes you shave off.
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Comments (132)
cliffbiker 0
the left over love juice is pretty romantic
DrAwesome 6
Hell, if that's not romantic, then I don't know what is...
iBimmer 0
YDI for leaking lots of fluids.
sherryterry3 0
That has got to be the most DISGUSTING thing I've ever heard. My goodness, men are just PIGS. Don't get me wrong, women are too but seriously? That's romantic? I'd hate to think how he would propose to someone... cook up a meal and use his sperm as dressing... just because it would be the perfect occasion... eating their "babies".
Desapig 0
hurrrrrrrr I'm a feminist...men r pigs and wimin are sooo much better hurrrrrr
Maniac_Taco 0
You're a feminist and only think men are worse because you can't spell. 'Hurr'.
diabetic_rage 0
#97 I love you. and #112, you're an idiot.
Broc 0
112, You're SO retarded... When you read this in your head, I want you to really put some emphasis on the "SO." Maybe then you'll get it.
bbobe900000 0
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA #178... 'use his sperm as dressing' hahaha u have no idea how much this made me laugh
silentmusic 0
awww....ydi! he spent alot of time wtih u on that! it would be really mean to just not accept it.
ryan100 0
**** you
hellokittywhore 0
that's ummmm ..... charming I guess. honestly I'm at a loss for words. :/
SneakyMuffin 0
Hahaha... No men are awesome. We kill we eat meat we can defend ourselves we can do EVERYTHING!!!
SneakyMuffin 0
I meant no, men
spazz666 18
I'm female and I can do all of those things plus withstand child birth. I don't see the point of your comment, unless you're saying that you think men are better than women. It's called equality.
NotSoNice 0
That's disturbing...
Imawhalerider 0
run away now
sexymessy 0
Agree agree! Not so sure "its the thought that counts" really applies here...
intotheblue 0
Yeah that's freaky... Might want to run the other way...
Maniacfive 0
Agreed! Get the hell out girl! get the hell out! how long had he been cutting away the bits on those sheets?! Creepy.
Jandude 9
sexymessy is fking ugly
redrovaa 0
Jandude needs to get a more original haircut.
KillaKingPerrie 4
DA FECK!
zidane312 0
i LOVE making stains on her sheets
Tatertotz515 0
u seem like a creeper
Pinkerton726 0
Sounds like somebody's getting used tampons for their birthday/Christmas...
Sun_Kissed18 25
Best comment award! Hahaha thats perfect. OP: uuuhhmmm... Its the thought that counts? Heh
Tatertotz515 0
Or like a used tampon necklace
RESTAREA 0
He cut up a bunch of perfectly good bed sheets? You guys have done it on enough bed sheets to make a patchwork out of it? You don't wash the sheets afterward? This is disturbing on many levels... Something is wrong with the both of you
sherryterry3 0
Couldn't agree more!
PokeyStix 3
True dat.
coopcas 0
Give him a sweater you knit out of the pubes he makes you shave off.
smiller0789 3
Ohhh my god. Epic comment XD
nickyzinks 0
LOL!
purpleBerryZ 0
ROTFLMAO!!!!!!
sahara_fml 0
This is the best response I've ever read; you, sir, win the internet.
Mortishia 0
da best!
plexico 4
Oooh, I'd be smelling my sleeve all day!
cherrydrop 0
i got an account solely for the purpose to tell you that your comment is awesome. the best thing ive read on FML. :P
ReasonsToFly 0
When he's sleeping at night put the stains on his face.
Tubasaurus 0
It's safe to assume that he would only be turned on by that.
Emico_fml 0
Didn't Tracey Emin do something like that?
doof_fisch 2
This isn't totally without precedent. In biblical times, the groom would go into the wedding chamber with his virgin wife. The best man would be stationed outside the chamber. When the marriage was consummated the bridegroom would let out a shout of happiness. The blood-stained sheet would then become a sort of trophy because it proved that the bride had saved her virginity until marriage (as the Bible requires.)
carmoniam 0
Gross.
penizulaface 0
... periodsex?
Elphie_fml 0
No, she would be bleeding if she was a virgin and hadn't had sex before. If she didn't bleed, they'd assume she had already had sex outside the marriage, although not everyone bleeds their first time.
divineinstrument 2
Girls bleed when they lose their virginity? Ew, I thought was very uncommon. I mean, I know the first time is usually very uncomfortable for the girl, but that's just sick. Why th Also, if not ALL girls bleed after their first time, what happened to the ones who didn't bleed after their first time? Were they assumed to be non-virgins and fed to the lions or something? Christianity fails
plexico 4
Actually, they would also bring a small amount of chicken blood with them to stain the sheet in case the bride's hymen had broken earlier in her life. There are ways that can happen that are totally non-sexual.
awesomelylame 0
You sort of fail for not knowing that #62.
Broc 0
Speaking of virgins...
sixtrey 0
I'm 100% sure my current gf was a virgin and she didn't bleed, she did had alot of pain but no blood i know some girls bleed like my ex but it varries from girl to girl FYL for not knowing that xD
spazz666 18
If you can't learn proper grammar you shouldn't be having sex.