Today, I walked in on my brother sticking his erect penis through a donut. I doubt I'll ever be able to unsee this. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I saw a real, erect penis for the first time. My brother's, while he was jerking off. He doesn't know I saw, because he was holding a pair of panties over his face with his other hand. I'm trying like hell to act like I'm not mentally scarred. FML
Today, I walked in on my brother masturbating. In the living room. For the second time. FML
Today, I walked in on my brother trying to stick his knob into a cola bottle. FML
Today, I walked in on my brother having sex. With my boyfriend. FML
Today, I walked in on my brother completely naked from the waist down. I wouldn't have cared if he wasn't masturbating using my lingerie. FML
Today, I walked in on my brother jerking off to a breast cancer awareness advert. FML
Today, I walked in on my brother slipping into a pair of panties. Specifically, a pair of my panties. FML
Today, I walked in on my sister shoving her vibrating phone into her privates. Can't erase that image. FML
Today, I walked in on my grandfather smiling at his penis. FML
Today, I was watching porn when I found a lookalike of my soon-to-be sister-in-law. She's attractive, so I enjoyed watching her getting it on by herself. Needless to say I did not finish as I saw another "lookalike" entering the room. I have now seen my brother's erect penis. FML
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Top comments
DatRealAssTruth 3
Was it already glazed?
oped01 8
So he was "dunkin the donut"
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Comments (185)
DatRealAssTruth 3
Was it already glazed?
JellyBalls 18
Or did it have a jelly filling?
TurtleSmile 14
They used to be my favorite. Now they're ruined forever.
IcedJesus 5
I donut see that coming.
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
I'm not so churrof what he was trying to dough, but if you'd just shut your pie hole and help him with his pig in a blanket maybe he'd help sprinkle a sweet pastery substance all across those donut holes. :)
Inheritance 10
23 I think you're referring to that 'white pudding'. But he I'm guessing fills up his own donuts with special organic ingredients. You know to give it that extra protein kick.
unknown_user5566 27
42- I think the joke worked out better for #23. Less is more.
tygerarmy 35
Maybe he was trying to make a Boston Creme
WWEIsLove 4
Boston Creme is delicious!
bakunin 4
Maybe he misheard the words fetish and delish... You never know these days...
DatRealAssTruth 3
I think it worked out best for #1
TwitchingNebula 17
At least he didn't stick it in her ear while she was sykping her mum
ohcheriecherie 20
I confess, I tried to smoke through a donut once
Pretty_reckless_fml 18
Haha, donut worry OP ;) and at least you didn't eat the donut unknowingly afterwards :) Edit; damn the donut jokes already been done :L Sorry guys, ignore my comment :)
ninjapiratejesus_fml 20
Was it a voodoo doughnut? Seeing as you're from Oregon and all... That place is amazing.
Agtthepw 21
Then it must have been the triple chocolate one!
Eamon666 3
Now its doubie glazed
AwkwardHaole808 16
I bet you'll never be able to enjoy another donut again. *Shudders*. Your life is over.
rasengan1544 12
>OP eating a donut >Scumbag Brain: remember when your brother put his dick in a donut >Oh God Why
deegeebee 10
especially not the custard ones...
Gregory607 1
Oh greentext arrows why are you everywhere
AKGirlinSD 20
4, that was my very first thought! People will think highly of the Original Poster when everyone is standing around, eating donuts at an office meeting (for instance), and OP will be the only one with self control.
ArcanaDL 3
not the donut!!
enormouselephant 15
Yes, doNUT **** donuts.
iOceanus 18
Rule 34.
lebronesque73091 12
More importantly, what kind of a donut was it?
oped01 8
So he was "dunkin the donut"
deegeebee 10
great! now every time I see a dunkin, that's what I'm going to think of :/
DatRealAssTruth 3
Tht was clever. I applaud tht.
Calingaladha 21
Well...America runs on Dunkin.
xx000o 27
Sounds like a variation on Dunking doughnuts called dunking dicks.
olpally 33
That's Quagmire... What did you expect? Giggity :D
Patrickstarfish 0
You're not having a good night are you
olpally 33
Nope, apparently not D: I really dropped the ball tonight... :/
aerogxt 7
Just don't drop the donut
SqueakyChipmunk 22
Pick. Up. The. *******. Ball.
olpally 33
111- good advice lol and squeaky... I'm trying...
gracehi 33
Wow. I thought it was bad when I saw my brother's morning wood fall out of his boxers. At least I can still enjoy donuts. ... Mmmmmm... Dooooonuuuuuuts....
SirBreaksalot 9
But can you enjoy boxers?
mvc3ftw 17
I can,they are great dogs.
BeanBrick 10
106- Your comment just gave #9's a whole new meaning.
MormonPornstar 7
daliagrande 17
Next time you should knock.
enormouselephant 15
Knock on...wood?
rekege 18
Who said he was in his room..?
zeep92 18
Or he could have been in the kitchen... Maybe he commonly sexually assaults the food?
bladedrose 3
Didn't you ever wonder where the holes in doughnuts came from?
blackcherries 5
Oh god don't even go there! I like donuts don't ruin that for me! :(
Schizomaniac 24
Muffins are better. **** donuts.
gracehi 33
But donuts are-- ... Wait... AAAAAAAAAH, I see what you did there! ;p
Krirn 21
That's exactly what OP's brother was doing.
heygirlie777 21
28- I believe that was the joke.
vintageemerald 10
I don't get it...
TrailblazerSS 5
Don't ever let him work at a donut shop near me please.
Mister_Triangle 21
I think people are overreacting. What someone does when they think they're alone doesn't necessarily reflect on how they act all the time. Haven't we all stuck our dicks in a weird place at least once? Give him a break
iamabamf 17
No, I don't have a dick.
KiddNYC1O 22
Then why do you tell us to suck your dick? ^
iamabamf 17
Hahaha, you got me.