Today, in an attempt to spice things up a bit, my boyfriend and I discovered he takes it in the butt better than I do. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend said he wanted to try something new. By something new, it was to put flour in my butt and see what would happen if I farted. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try anal sex. When he was done, I turned around to see him holding a strap-on with a smile on his face and said 'Now, do me'. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that he gets more pleasure out of using a Q-tip than he does having sex with me. FML
Today, my boyfriend stuck his finger in my butt and I liked it, but I can’t ever tell him that or he’ll get that smug look on his face like, “I told you so, let’s have anal now.” FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. I grabbed his butt to control his thrusts and got a clump of used toilet paper. FML
Today, I got home from work early to find my boyfriend spread eagle on the couch, taking pictures of his anus. Apparently, that's what his other girlfriend is into. FML
Today, I was getting dirty with my boyfriend. It was the first time he had fingered anyone, and the only thing he said was, "It feels like the inside of my asshole." FML
Today, I took a shower with my boyfriend. I tried to be adventurous and went to give him a blowjob, only to end up slipping and head-butting him in the balls. FML
Today, my boyfriend was going down on me and decided it'd be funny to blow raspberries in my crotch. He literally thought it was the funniest thing ever. FML
Today, I noticed my husband makes better sex sounds on the toilet then he does with me. FML
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Top comments
ShotaSammy 17
Well yeah, ever heard of the prostate? Guys are more likely to enjoy it up the ass than girls. (Side note: guys are also better at ******** because their spit is naturally thicker which helps them deep throat easier)
SiraSiemens 21
i said what what
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Comments (46)
SiraSiemens 21
i said what what
nonsensical 26
In da butt
NostalgiaFreak9 43
You wanna do it in my butt? In my butt?
CliffyB03 28
Okay
NagolNodsae 5
In the wanna do it in the wanna do it in the okay
cole66 14
why the downvotes on cliffy? its part of the song
Atmey 5
Sure, but you gotta buy me dinner first.
Jay18 22
can I put it in your butt
TheSenorPenguino 7
Well that must be a real pain in the ass.
Goblin182 27
Actually, quiet the opposite apparently.
vdh5ever 4
C'mon, man...
Glamisbound 14
damn, talk about an eye-opener
sherri_baby88 36
The brown eye, people. He's referring to the asshole.
vikky538 29
More like ass opener
scyth3s 13
See #17: the brown eye
Nakomai 17
Uh oh. My eyes are brown. Must be why my step-dad always says I'm full of shit :(
ShotaSammy 17
Well yeah, ever heard of the prostate? Guys are more likely to enjoy it up the ass than girls. (Side note: guys are also better at ******** because their spit is naturally thicker which helps them deep throat easier)
anthonydpalm 18
Damn, so I guess the gays have it all figured out
Rubly 10
oh that's just nice to know
CliffyB03 28
But...how do you know about the spit?
PhoenixChick 26
I came here to say exactly this. If you're in a relationship where pegging is an option, you should know a little bit about anatomy.
BlueBaronBitch 22
*The More You Know*
75elks 14
dafuq bruh
MrGarrett26 11
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
that's disgusting
nix1993 41
Calm down #40, don't be too open minded.
CliffyB03 28
No, but seriously though. Mine was an honest question. I thought all of our saliva was the same thickness.
ShotaSammy 17
You ever notice how guys tend to spit more often, and how its like easier in general (of course it changes per person) to spit like far away and stuff? Its because their spit is naturally thicker in general and there's also just more of it. Where for women, their spit tends to do that only when eating or after they've started giving a ******* it'll start to also. But that happens to guys too only starting at a higher level, and going upwards.
GoddessGlitter 13
never did I think fml comments would be this informative. (and also this open minded) thanks for the information
Epickitty58 29
damn, I thought I knew a lot of barely useful facts
rldostie 19
Interesting but how does spit help with deep throating? I would think it has far more to do with the ability to relax and suppress the gag reflex. TMI but isn't excess saliva more of a deterrent in a ********, rather than a benefit?
thearronaut 10
yes, excess lubrication is always a downer
ShotaSammy 17
We salivate when we eat so that its easier to swallow/helps it not get stuck plus all of the eating/digestive reasons. The excess also then helps for deep throating because everything is easier to move around. Yes of course the ability to relax those muscles still plays a big part obviously, but the natural ability to salivate as such gives a slight advantage for guys.
Luzeamus_fml 7
Also, gag reflex while doing a ******* can be suppressed by making a fist with your left hand and squeezing your thumb. It's a dentistry trick that works with most people.
HyperTek 16
What the actual ****.
cynthia0405 1
Your judgment is disgusting.
Rabite 28
To quote the great Peaches: Don't you know it's supposed to feel better for boys?
cavallo31 6
TMI
BestOrginalName 22
This is FML; get your head outta your ass and deal with the fact that this app has explicit content.
TheNewGuy03 29
Dude, for ****'s sake, the name of the site is "**** My Life." You got this far; either enjoy it, or find somewhere else to be thick-headed.
taiga86 1
App? It's a website. LOL
hardcorefan16 22
That's interesting
nykkiyo16 13
"But Moooooooooom! Literally EVERYONE takes it up the ass better than I do! Even Steve! THIS ISNT FAIR!" *foot stomp*
jerricaschell 4
a male's g-spot is actually up the bum
Badkarma4u 17
Whether he liked it or not, if a man agrees to get pegged, he can never let on that its the least bit uncomfortable, if he hopes to be able to stick it up his girls butt ever again.
sherri_baby88 36
That backfires by the girl becoming convinced her boyfriend is secretly gay, or being jealous he's better at it and refuses to do it again.
Badkarma4u 17
If a girl thinks a guy is gay because he likes having sex with HER. Then she's too dumb to date.
sherri_baby88 36
If a guy fakes enjoying something that's causing him pain then he's too dumb period. If he does it just to keep doing something to his girlfriend that she might not even like then he's just a jerk.
lost_madness 2
Ahh the good old "I'll let her painfully peg me so I can painfully peg her" trick. Great until everyone realizes just how much of a pain in the ass it can be to keep up.
Fairyjoshy 13
@30 I see what you did there
TOPsCinderella 25
I mean, not true. My husband was a little bitch about it but I still let him in the backdoor, if you will. :p
9a_z1 11
My spouse is completely honest about his backdoor experiences because our sex life is based on what feels good for the both of us, not a weird butt sex guilt trip dealy. Not to sound crazy or anything.