Sex, TV shows and Awkward: Dear John

Dear John

By Homegrown 2024 - 30/07/2024 13:00 - United States - Chicago

Today, my girlfriend asked me to act more like Homelander in bed. FML

agreeclassic 402

vote type 1 143

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By PlayTag - 05/02/2009 00:58 - United States

Today, my girlfriend gave me a blow-up doll and told me to practice. FML

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Today, my horror movie-obsessed girlfriend hit a new level of crazy when she asked me to dress up as Ghostface during sex. FML

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Today, my girlfriend confessed to me that she wants to dress me up in her clothes, with a wig and makeup. FML

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Today, my girlfriend and I were going to have sex. To set the mood, she suggested we watch a porno she once starred in. FML

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Hidden

By bootyislife - 16/06/2015 20:01 - United States - Lynnwood

Today, my girlfriend made me put a blanket over my head while giving me a blowjob because she didn't like the faces I was making. FML

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Careless Whisper

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Today, I asked my girlfriend to talk dirty to me. Her response was to impersonate a saxophone. FML

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Easy

By FootinMouth - 18/07/2013 21:48 - United States - Louisville

Today, my girlfriend said she wanted to get a little crazy and try some role-play. "Act like you don't want it," she said. Without thinking, I replied, "Well, that should be easy." FML

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Tiger King

By ??? - 12/10/2020 08:00 - United States

Today, I asked my wife how we could spice up our sex life. She wants me to dress up and talk like Joe Exotic. No, she wasn’t kidding. FML

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By Anonymous - 17/01/2015 19:00 - United States - Bowler

Today, my girlfriend asked me not to love her so much, so she doesn't have to try so hard to match my love for her. What the fuck? FML

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By Ignitingmylightsaber - 18/10/2009 11:29 - Australia

Today, my girlfriend and I had the weekend all to ourselves. On the second day, we finally got intimate, with me doing all she asked of her. In return for hard-work, she took my meat in her hand and started making lightsaber noises, before pronouncing "I don't see why people like it so much." FML

agreeclassic 23 022

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suntrkr 9

Wednesday 31 July 2024 13:01

If you're not already aware, his thing is ANR.

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suntrkr 9

Wednesday 31 July 2024 13:01

If you're not already aware, his thing is ANR.

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

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Today, I found out that I might not get a job in the States, because I let my certification expire and haven't driven in the States in two years. I can't get the experience without a job, can't get a job without experience. FML

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Today, I proudly drove my new car to work, feeling on top of the world. As I parked, I noticed everyone in the lot staring at me. I smiled and waved, thinking they were admiring my car. It wasn't until I got to my desk that my boss informed me I'd dragged an orange traffic cone under my car the entire way to the office. FML

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Today, I waited in line to get into a club with my girlfriend, the bouncer only let her in, she told me to call her if I needed anything and left me. We were supposed to celebrate my birthday. FML

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Today, my dog was cold, so she kept sitting around the oven. When I opened it to put my pizza in, she hopped into it. The massive yelp of pain as she did so is going to haunt my dreams… and my financial stability. Even the vet has no idea how she's still alive. FML

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Today, I found out my roommate had mistaken my toothbrush for his dog's. So for the last month he's been using my toothbrush on his dog. The dog's favorite meal? Fresh cat poop. FML

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Today, my father threw out my $100 wedge of blue cheese because it "smelled funny". FML

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