Today, I found out that my brother buys audiobooks only to play them on "mute" so that he can tell everyone that he read them later and flaunt the proof. The rest of my family think he is a genius for reading War and Peace in two days and won't listen to me. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my parents told me off for reading, as opposed to watching TV like the rest of the family, because it was "anti-social". FML
Today, my brother inherited a book from our grandmother that, in his ignorance, he donated to a charity shop because he’s “not a big reader”. I raced to buy it back, but someone had already bought it. The book in question: a mint condition, 1954 first edition Lord of the Rings, valued at £5000. FML
Today, I found out my mother only uses two settings for volume on her laptop: maximum volume or completely quiet. She'll play it over whatever other people are doing, and then get mad when they tell her to turn it down. FML
Today, I tried to impress coworkers by saying I “don’t really watch TV” because I mostly read books. Unfortunately, someone immediately asked what I’d been reading lately, and the only honest answer was celebrity memoirs and conspiracy theory forum posts online at 2 a.m. FML
Today, I was in the middle of enjoying a really good book while in a waiting room. Someone saw what I was reading and thought it would be cool if she leaned over and told me everything that happens. FML
Today, after meeting my boyfriend's family for the first time, I found out that he, his sister, and their father enjoy talking loudly over the person who is currently talking, because what anyone else says is not worth listening to. FML
Today, my brother's girlfriend came over to visit and we got to talking about books. Thinking she'd be interested, I suggested a few. She responded that she "only reads good literature." The only books I've ever seen her read are Fifty Shades of Gray and the Twilight saga. FML
Today, my brother deleted all traces of the novel I've been working on for three years from my laptop. The reason? When I was born I "stole all of Mum and Dad's attention." He's 24. FML
Today, a friend told me that when I read, I make all the expressions the characters in the book are making. Apparently, I have been doing this since I was a kid, and no one ever told me. FML
Today, I was in Barnes & Noble and some asshole was walking around with his phone on speaker to hear the baseball game. That asshole was my husband. FML
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Top comments
Inkoseh 33
Why not just ask him a question of a huge plot point? Even better, talk about it and say something wrong. If he agrees, point out you were lying and it really said something else. He's missing out on wonderful literature. Make him regret it!
Tarah_rox 12
Oh well OP! It will show through in his work the little knowledge he has of the book. Karma, his fault.
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Comments (36)
Tarah_rox 12
Oh well OP! It will show through in his work the little knowledge he has of the book. Karma, his fault.
Eyalsh 32
reminds me of that scene from Seinfeld in "the marine biologist" "did you know that tolstoy wanted to name his book "war, what is it good for?"? but it was his mistress who convinced him to change the name to war and peace"
SiraSiemens 21
you have to know when you are beaten. you have to find an equally cunning way to get back at him
Inkoseh 33
Why not just ask him a question of a huge plot point? Even better, talk about it and say something wrong. If he agrees, point out you were lying and it really said something else. He's missing out on wonderful literature. Make him regret it!
Yudith 28
Yes, but OP would have to actually read the book to do it.
domolovesyoshi 33
It's just what people say just forget it
MidnaLink 35
If he bought the audio version in English, that's not even considered genius in the first place. Listening to it as "Voyna i Mir" in the original Russian and understanding some of it would be extremely impressive.
DeadxManxWalking 27
waste of money just to look good in front of others
MidnaLink 35
Tell me about it. Even the iBooks price lists it at $21.95.
kirkaygri 18
You can get it for $1.99 through Amazon.
Goblin182 27
I don't see how this is an F your life. How does this even effect you?
BoxFullOfLazy 25
Exactly. This isn't an FML. Leave him alone to do what he wants. If her brother is so desperate for attention and praise that he wants to spend cash on audiobooks that he isn't listening to, then he's the one who should be posting an FML.
pandalover69 26
Or OP just wanted to tell the world how stupid her brother is and figured fml was the best place to do so.
hellnosucka 27
what a moron.
vikky538 29
Butt why?
tayjb17 15
ask him questions about the book.