Today, I had to take my boyfriend to the emergency room to get stitches from cutting his arm during sex. I sat there while he explained to the doctor how it was the best orgasm ever. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate in an alley. He pushed me up against a wall and started kissing me, but he pushed me so hard I cut open my head and needed 10 stitches. FML
Today, me and my boyfriend had sex but stopped when I felt pain downstairs. That evening he wanted me to go to the emergency room but I wanted to sleep it off. Turned out I needed surgery. One of my fallopian tubes had ripped. The sex was so rough, I got an intravenous hemorrhage. FML
Today, I visited the hospital with my boyfriend to have an injury checked. When the doctor removed the band-aid, my boyfriend started screaming and passed out. I had to get him out of the room using a wheelchair. The "injury" is a cut on his finger. FML
Today, I realized I might have some issues. After some amazing, satisfying rough sex, I started having incredible pain. I went to the hospital and discovered I'd asked him to beat me so hard that he'd cracked a rib. FML
Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. After he'd repeatedly told me not to worry about bleeding, and reassuring me that he'd take care of me, he passed out halfway through. FML
Today, when my boyfriend and I were getting intimate, I got a nose bleed. He gave me a shirt to plug it with and kept going. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate on the bathroom floor. Somehow my nose managed to start bleeding, so he bent me over the tub and kept going because he didn't want to "ruin the moment". FML
Today, my boyfriend called out the word "scalpel" when he orgasmed. He won't tell me why. FML
Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, my fingers got stuck between the wall and headboard. Screaming, he thought I was enjoying the sex and kept going even harder. I have 3 broken fingers. FML
Today, while making love to my wife, I felt adventurous and told her to hit me. She didn't so much as hesitate before savagely slapping me with her ring hand. Now I'm back home from the hospital, with stitches closing up a huge gash on my cheek. FML
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Top comments
DocBastard 40
Sex Rule #1: If you draw blood, you're doing it wrong. Exception: Virgins
svalaedgren 18
At least he seems to think it was worth it
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Comments (122)
eddeeezzyy 19
How exactly do you cut your arm so deep from masturbation that you have to get stitches?? That's what we all wanna know! Was his dick made of chainsaw blades or something? Lol
Kibaruto 33
Dude....
eddeeezzyy 19
Oh shit, I completely misread the fml. Well, I guess a better question would be how do you cut your arm so deep from sex? Must've been that intense.
Anumayis 34
from masturbation? I thought she said sex.
StupidSauce 5
Very carefully.
ischneid101 4
this thread is going nowhere..
nnnope 26
1 - it sounds like OP's boyfriend is the type of guy who gets off on pain/blood. he probably cut himself intentionally, but wasn't careful about it.
CallMeMcFeelii 14
I'm pretty ******* sure he didn't slice his own arm during sex. Some girls have long nails and during that intense moment of euphoria they sometimes scratch you. Now I never had to go to a hospital because of that, but I've certainly had some marks that lasted a week or so. My guess is she dug her nails into his arms when she was having an ******.
blowinkissies 9
70- Finally someone gets it.
RedPillSucks 33
Damn. It's a good thing they weren't doing 69. That would have been tragic!
bellidona 15
Actually there are people out there that will burn , cut , or even purposely get stung by bees during sex or masturbation because it makes their ****** so intense .
KoveGames 5
It's not a thread these are the comments
ChoolyBooly 32
He at least was happy about it all.
svalaedgren 18
At least he seems to think it was worth it
leeyaro 13
You're very pretty!
SmallyBigs 9
Maybe he's into that kinky, painful stuff...
DocBastard 40
Sex Rule #1: If you draw blood, you're doing it wrong. Exception: Virgins
Kibaruto 33
Unless it is the extreme version. Pretty hardcore.
Ambient25 25
Or if you're into biting...
_GoodGuy 11
A wise man once said if you see the color of the flow turn red, head to the mud.
Ambient25 25
A period never stopped nothing but a sentence
rememberkids 14
"If the Red River flows, take the Dirty Road"
thatnucca 36
Lol... Good one...
happle 21
22, not your sentence, apparently.
letmehavemytea 21
You guys do know that girls don't actually bleed when their hymens get stretched, right? If it's bleeding ya'll are doing it wrong.
letmehavemytea 21
Uh guys, take it from a girl who's lost her v-card. If you stretch her properly then she shouldn't bleed during sex. The only way it'll bleed is if you're being at least a little rough.
Lilxpie 18
What if shes on her period?
worldclassrager 41
That's irrelevant...period sex isn't worth it...
asnakelovinbabe 16
Oh yes, take it from ONE girl who "has lost her v-card" because she must know how ALL women experience their first time. Some women do inevitably bleed the first time they have sex even when they take it very slow. Others do not. It depends on her individual body as well as his! If she is small, and he has a gigantic weiner, then it is probably going to be a little unpleasant and/or bloody no matter how slow it goes. There is really no nice way to break a ****** in. (That is one sentence I didn't think I would ever type) Either way it is absolutely nothing to be concerned about or to make a big deal out of... If she's not gushing blood like a fountain, she'll be fine. If she is.... Well she should probably seek medical attention ASAP!
TheDrifter 24
I actually can't think of a bad way to break in a ******. All the ways I can come up with sound pretty fun. Plus kudos for using the word wiener.
OzzMonster 10
I think this may be slightly too much information ma'am
pam241 15
genius lol
strike2867 13
Exception to the exception: the only virgin in the act is male.
Inhuman87 4
Secondary exception: Sadism/Sadomasochism
Ambience138 11
#4 - Pfft if you draw blood you're doing it right, very right.
IloveToLaugh143 21
Doctor: So, how'd you get this injury? Your Boyfriend: So this is how it all went down, me and my girl were gettin' it on and then BOOM! I orgasmed so hard my skin split!
Neko_Banshee 13
Apparently you don't understand fetishes
Chris93Jones 20
"break a ****** in" I just found my new favorite phrase.
beelee1988 13
66, you do know that DocBastard is a REAL doctor right? He may not be an OB/GYN, but I'm sure he knows a little more than you do about what goes down in the ******. Being a girl doesn't make you an expert.
KoveGames 5
She didn't, she used weiner
RustedCouture 4
Not exception virgins. If you draw blood you're doing it wrong period. Hymen is not supposed to "tear" it stretches.
ChoolyBooly 32
#120 DocBastard is right. Please do proper research from actual medical sources before you comment with ignorance.
daniel_dd31 13
If he is explaining it to the doctor it must have been great. He now has a scar to remember the moment forever lol.
Horsempeg 25
Right. Doesn't really seem like an FML. Sounds like a good time to me.
UsernameHere234 13
Doesn't matter had sex.
Trix_Disorder 20
This actually works well for this FML. How refreshing.
fishstick557 14
Well that's not awkward. At all
zandalee 20
Am I the only one who is wondering how the **** he cut his arm during sex?!
ocramavaf 15
you, Me and everyone we know
noldier 5
yes. shit happens.
gc327072 31
That'd be a whole new level of "needle dick"
SmuggletheBudgie 15
fell off the bed maybe? thats my best guess.
worldclassrager 41
Girlfriends nails?
melons 44
I want to know how he cut his arm. Did your ****** dentata bite him?
RedPillSucks 33
Stitches on his arm. So unless he was fisting her and went in elbow deep...
melons 44
That was what I was alluding to.
caohm 18
looks like ends justify the means but you may want to keep 911 on speed dial next time since it seems y'all are into the weird stuff.
sens3sfailing 25
You need speed dial for 911?
nmrat 10
May I ask, what is the number for 911? I always forget it.