Today, my boyfriend was going down on me and decided it'd be funny to blow raspberries in my crotch. He literally thought it was the funniest thing ever. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was cuddling with my boyfriend in bed after a round of amazing sex. He decided it would be a great time to stick his finger up my nose. FML
Today, my boyfriend found out it makes a funny fart sound when he blows hard into my mouth in the middle of making out. I can't get him to stop doing it every time we kiss. FML
Today, I went down on my boyfriend, and tried out a new trick I learned. I read in a magazine that if you hum while giving oral, it's supposed to feel good. My boyfriend started laughing and told me to stop after 30 seconds because I reminded him of his singing toothbrush. FML
Today, I was watching a romantic comedy at my boyfriend's house. During the make out scene, I decided to go in for a kiss. He apparently decided to belch at the same time. I could taste it. FML
Today, I was cuddling my boyfriend before going to bed. He farted really loud and spat in my face as he laughed. FML
Today, my boyfriend discovered that I fart when I'm tickled enough. The best part was when he decided to show his family. FML
Today, I tried to tease my boyfriend by pulling my skirt up, bending over, and backing up into him. He gagged and said, "Please, wash your ass." FML
Today, I was giving my boyfriend a blowjob. I was laying in between his legs because it's just more comfortable. I looked down, and he had pieces of toilet paper sticking out of his butt cheeks. FML
Today, I was having hot sex with my boyfriend. Then, I felt a puff of air hit my face and a rancid smell. My dog had farted in my face. FML
Today, my boyfriend said he wanted to try something new. By something new, it was to put flour in my butt and see what would happen if I farted. FML
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Top comments
manb91gb 15
Ohh if only you could queef on command, you could blow some right back! That'd stop him.
bobsanction 18
In his defense, that's kinda funny.
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Comments (12)
manb91gb 15
Ohh if only you could queef on command, you could blow some right back! That'd stop him.
bullsonyourface 20
you mean you can't?
manb91gb 15
No, because I have a penis my dear...
BurnInDemonFire 39
You're dating a child. That's illegal.
timinator5000 28
I wouldn't do it but I never knew it was illegal? Why does that make him a child?
BurnInDemonFire 39
Dating a child is the crime, not blowing raspberries. And seeing as how blowing raspberries is the usual tactic adults rely on to make a child laugh when they're crying, how is it not childish?
faiona 13
Yeah that's not only childish, but also could be deathly, air is not a good thing to enter your reproductive system, in rare cases it could cause embolism.
Sinshine 28
Where did he get those raspberries while between your legs? Do you keep stock there?
bullsonyourface 20
clap clap clap
bobsanction 18
In his defense, that's kinda funny.
bullsonyourface 20
and here I thought I was the only one that pulled shit like that whilst giving head
0neiros 14
Lack of respect for you and immaturity aside, if you look it up, blowing air into the ****** is VERY DANGEROUS, and can land you in the hospital in absolute agony. Google it, make him read it, and tell him not to ever do it again unless he wants to be single