Double dump
Today, my girlfriend haltingly dumped me over the phone. Faint splashes punctuated her grunting, straining sounds. FML
Today, my girlfriend haltingly dumped me over the phone. Faint splashes punctuated her grunting, straining sounds. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girlfriend of 3 years broke up with me by taping a breakup note to my doorstep and ding-dong-ditching me. FML
Today, my girlfriend who I love very deeply dumped me two times, over the phone. The first time was to dump me. She then called me back a couple hours later explicitly to dump our friendship. I was just friend dumped. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Because she farted, and thought it was "too awkward". FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because she heard me say "love you" on the phone. I was talking to my mom. FML
Today, my girlfriend had someone else dump me via text message. I knew it wasn't her because for once I wasn't being viciously insulted, and it wasn't written as if an illiterate baboon had taken a shit all over her keypad. I can't even feel happy about being rid of her. FML
Today, I came home to hear my girlfriend break up with me, over the answering machine, with my entire family in the room. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. By making out with her new boyfriend in front of me. FML
Today, my girlfriend dumped me. Her exact words used were "I like the idea of you, but I don't like you." I still don't know what that means. FML
Today, my girlfriend dumped me because her dog "told her to". FML
Today, I broke up with my girlfriend. She responded by sitting on the floor, crying like a baby and screaming "WHY?" at strangers. FML
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Top comments
Gurljuice 0
She doubled her relief
sassypants93 17
That sounds like she got a big dumping in more ways than one.
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Comments (236)
Rando77 0
That would turn me on...
lexisdakotaa 5
ew.
Taz_the_Spaz 0
at least i'm not the only one.
SuitsAreCool 0
Here's my theory on what happened. "I've got to take a dump so bad! Hmm, dump... why does that ring a bell? Oh yeah, I've been meaning to break up with OP for days now, better call him right away!"
KamilleBlack 3
OOOh! Sorry! I didn't get it right away. I thought she dumped u while having sex in a pool...I dunno. Sorry :S
xX_LilSammie_Xx 4
win.
sweet_blue 3
lmao
justintime66451 2
that was my original take, too, lol
SassiestLemon 2
I'm glad that I'm not the only one.
Kolden 11
**** her dude
Ms_Krazie 4
Eww your ex was disgusting good thing you got rid of her :)
Mebekatya 0
I love the way he worded his fml. But really, fyl OP.
kaz55 9
No Xzibit jokes yet?!
Prupel 0
"Faint splashes". That means she was taking a dump.
wafflesgirl24 0
she was dumping him while she was dumping xD
GawZ 0
Maybe she was getting her sex on in the pool with Mr. New Guy and called to break up with her current boyfriend so she wouldn't feel guilty for cheating on him.