dumped
Canada
Double dump
Today, my girlfriend haltingly dumped me over the phone. Faint splashes punctuated her grunting, straining sounds. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Anonymous
Qu?bec, Canada
Today, my girlfriend of 3 years broke up with me by taping a breakup note to my doorstep and ding-dong-ditching me. FML
musicyman55
United States
Today, my girlfriend who I love very deeply dumped me two times, over the phone. The first time was to dump me. She then called me back a couple hours later explicitly to dump our friendship. I was just friend dumped. FML
CHStennis_4
United States
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Because she farted, and thought it was "too awkward". FML
fucklife
Washington, United States
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because she heard me say "love you" on the phone. I was talking to my mom. FML
yesguysgetabusedtoo
Papamoa, New Zealand
It's for the best
Today, my girlfriend had someone else dump me via text message. I knew it wasn't her because for once I wasn't being viciously insulted, and it wasn't written as if an illiterate baboon had taken a shit all over her keypad. I can't even feel happy about being rid of her. FML
kukadaman
United States
Today, I came home to hear my girlfriend break up with me, over the answering machine, with my entire family in the room. FML
whysheheartless
United States
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. By making out with her new boyfriend in front of me. FML
dharp7
United States
Today, my girlfriend dumped me. Her exact words used were "I like the idea of you, but I don't like you." I still don't know what that means. FML
Afroman720
United States
Today, my girlfriend dumped me because her dog "told her to". FML
ddll
Singapore
Today, I broke up with my girlfriend. She responded by sitting on the floor, crying like a baby and screaming "WHY?" at strangers. FML
Top comments
Gurljuice 0
She doubled her relief
sassypants93 17
That sounds like she got a big dumping in more ways than one.
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Comments (236)
whoisthisgirl 4
lol that sucks...
persianjr1 7
He got dumped. Literally!!!!
GiggidyPants 0
i would have ran to the baffroom and started taking a poo
Dmars444 4
I would say she was most likely having sex with another person, probably a guy, while she was on the phone breaking up with you. as this would explain the grunting and maybe splashing. unless she was moving a bathtub full of water. could go either way...
ctguyfml 4
dmars she was taking a dump. grunting and straining and then he heard the shit splash into the toilet bowl.
rallets 23
"baffroom"? this FML sounds kinda shitty though. i dont think i can take much more of this crap. its a load of bullshit.
seanders 10
Thats a double dump for ya!
poiuytjfffc 0
she sure as hell DUMPED u all right, teehee a poop joke.
Xx_Nikky_xX 4
lmao damn
cross3 3
lmao yup xp
jess2gd4u 0
that's a load of crap!
riley322 0
Op, was your ex a Chris Brown fan? She must be since she gave you the deuces!
kyarush 10
a shitty situation if you ask me
MissBunny25 0
that's disgusting! clearly she has no class at all. you're well rid of her.
BigHoshJosh 0
gotta catch em all
TheTweaker 0
if she dumped you like that you must have acted like "shit". I bet you now feel like crap. O!
folfg0 12
Shitty phone call...
lilash1 0
well at least you know why she dumped you
lilash1 0
oops didn't mean to post tht comment
Gurljuice 0
She doubled her relief
theaws0m3guy 4
^ Win!!!
theaws0m3guy 4
^ Win!!!
WOW_BS 0
Damn. That win is a win?
yazdmich 1
yes that win is WINNING
SinfulTragedy 19
So #3 is bi-winning??? :)
43trauts 14
Winnerosah!
FranzFerdinand 18
103. xDD 3 is a total bitchin' rockstar from Mars.
tktom7 6
zomg epic
agentx52 13
Everyone here just won. Except OP lol
gideeupp 9
#103 maybe even tri-winning. xD
Petey_devil 0
no this stopped being funny. TMZ said so
example947 0
103 Charlie sheen reference ftw
sassypants93 17
That sounds like she got a big dumping in more ways than one.
emmaness 0
fail.
Rawket_Lawnchair 0
Hai guise! This is my telescope/camera shit and I'm a ******!
Rabbitt78660 0
NO...EPIC FAIL. : l [dry stare] blink..blink..
lazerdude07 0
Oh I get it.... DUMP-ed!! haha, good one
AsianCookie247 14
haha good job!
bansheebomber 14
Boo, you beat me to it. It's been a crappy day for me.
fl0ffy 0
hahaha FUNNY tht stinks
BugsBunny1 4
Stop trying to make these puns people. They're really shitty. -.-
syndragore 0
I agree with 190. These puns are crap.
No_LoveMM 3
190 - HA!
imhope 23
Hahaha
ImaCanuck 0
Well that sure does stink.
SkateElement44 0
Punny guy here
mr_miyagi 0
yea sounds like op had a phony relationship with a shitty girlfriend
stephanie911_fml 0
that's how much you meaned to her!
tona01 16
hahahahaha
the_ace1337 0
Epic!
sweet_blue 3
lmao #46
cole1497 0
Caulfim, if you're going to be a dick, English has a capital "E".
WOW_BS 0
Cole, if your gonna be a douche and correct him...well you can just go smd.
mintcar 10
^If you're going to comment, then you should probably understand the difference between " your" (possessive) and "you're" (contraction). ---------------------------- Meaned? HAHAHAHA. Only on FML will you see something like this.
Lac2501 2
#127 WINNING
meowmeowwkitty 0
no. get over it. your-you're it's just a website! jeesh, we all get that
MrLaryRottweila 1
COMBO-BREAKER!! haha sorry
Bartimaeus 7
-at 127- the Grammar Nazis and Spelling Spetsnaz are pleased with your comments.
TheNewGuy03 29
183 -- i think that the grammar nazis should take on a new moniker -- the grammar gru. that way, it is in keeping with the alliterative theme -- ya know, grammar gru, spelling spetsnaz, syntax syndicate, etc. |the kid|
Rabbitt78660 0
you do realize that metaphorically, u were that dump...that she strained, crapped out and flushed?! dude, she ate fiber the night b4 and set this all up! Ur Special!
lamiraoc 0
hahaha...that's funny!!
MissBunny25 0
186 is a win!! nobody got that but me I think.. :( now I feel like a nerd.
jess2gd4u 0
172. You are a douche. Your mistake was preventible, and you sound like even more of a douche because you had to make up an excuse. Don't blame technology for your inability. Have you not heard the term "A bad tradesman blames his tools"
TimeDisposalEngi 14
173, the preventable mistake was not the reason you are a dick. Completely uncorrelated. Js.
frank678 7
win ^
cheeksMcgeeks 3
I'm calling bullshit on this one. Everyone knows girls don't poop.
Quasar55_fml 18
this joke is not funny anymore
cheeksMcgeeks 3
My jokes are always funny. Always. Even when they are moderated.
Sirin_fml 47
Sorry cheeksMcgeeks; men must never know the truth.
rallets 23
damn i missed that.. everything good is always moderated
bfad2010 0
what did it say?
DuyLe 0
Sirin, parle-vous Francais? Just a quick off-topic question. I want to move to France and wonder how is it there if you don't mind answering. Merci beaucoup. :)
MdoAngel 0
that isn't random Duy.
stephanie911_fml 0
that's how much you mean to her!
docscientist 10
You sort of missed one important detail.
stfuexe 0
Try again.
docscientist 10
This is not where I commented...
stephanie911_fml 0
I didn't even mean to post the one above. : p
rogermar000 0
rld916 0
so she cheated on u and broke up with u at the same time...suckz
persianjr1 7
sorry didn't mean to post that*
Sirin_fml 47
Did it seem like a good idea at the time or something? How do you accidentally post a coherent comment?
spetchi 0
She was cheating with her poop?
Mehness 0
She was taking a shit.
FriskyCoconut 0
cheating? she was takin a dump
Kallik 0
this person thought the girl was having sex. cause of the grunting and straining sounds..
Lufferkinz 0
"Oh... oh, yeah... OH! UGH! AH! SHIIIIT! Shit, shit, shit... ah, yeah.. ah..."
hosson 0
haha.
creamcheese724 0
well my first thought was she was having sex in a hot tub
neveropenthat 7
haha
meowmeowwkitty 0
how do we know she wasn't in the bathtub banging some other guy?? hmm....?
meowmeowwkitty 0
OH! THANK YOU 114! so missed that, but yes! my thoughts too
kitty61487 0
that is what I thought at first too
kittykat1497 7
no she dumped him while taking a dump
ILoveYourDespair 0
I'm pretty sure she was crapping.