Double dump
Today, my girlfriend haltingly dumped me over the phone. Faint splashes punctuated her grunting, straining sounds. FML
Today, my girlfriend haltingly dumped me over the phone. Faint splashes punctuated her grunting, straining sounds. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend of 3 years broke up with me by taping a breakup note to my doorstep and ding-dong-ditching me. FML
Today, my girlfriend who I love very deeply dumped me two times, over the phone. The first time was to dump me. She then called me back a couple hours later explicitly to dump our friendship. I was just friend dumped. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Because she farted, and thought it was "too awkward". FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because she heard me say "love you" on the phone. I was talking to my mom. FML
Today, my girlfriend had someone else dump me via text message. I knew it wasn't her because for once I wasn't being viciously insulted, and it wasn't written as if an illiterate baboon had taken a shit all over her keypad. I can't even feel happy about being rid of her. FML
Today, I came home to hear my girlfriend break up with me, over the answering machine, with my entire family in the room. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. By making out with her new boyfriend in front of me. FML
Today, my girlfriend dumped me. Her exact words used were "I like the idea of you, but I don't like you." I still don't know what that means. FML
Today, my girlfriend dumped me because her dog "told her to". FML
Today, I broke up with my girlfriend. She responded by sitting on the floor, crying like a baby and screaming "WHY?" at strangers. FML
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Top comments
Gurljuice 0
She doubled her relief
sassypants93 17
That sounds like she got a big dumping in more ways than one.
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Comments (236)
persianjr1 7
maybe she was watering a plant while pooping?
persianjr1 7
sorry didn't mean to post that*
younoy 1
#12 that's some hot profile pic!
missory_missouri 0
Don't worry, OP, she'll be fine.
stephanie911_fml 0
that's how much you mean to her!
ROFLBERRYPIE 0
So I've heard.
jellyybeans 5
lol, three's a charm.
Taz_the_Spaz 0
Please don't tell me i'm the only one seeing a smiling pile of shit up there.
brianna3194 0
nbk1405 0
rofl
VivaLaCobra22 0
well that's a crappy situation. ZING!
theaws0m3guy 4
^ WIN so much!
SkateElement44 0
So much pun!
persianjr1 7
I can't tell if she was having sex or pooping!!!
carnage1106 0
I thought the same thing
persianjr1 7
true. haha
alex1432 9
106, your pic is ******* hilarious!
Djahcrap 0
That must have been a SHITTY relationship. AND THEY KEEP ON COMING!
hahahaha19 0
too funny!!!
haha1494 0
win!
fkeeler1266 0
that was pretty good i gotta admit hahahaha
contralucem 0
she sounds charming
persianjr1 7
was she pooping or cheating?
sweet_candy_ 17
This is sad.Some people have no respect for others :(
sgenfkshe 5
bothh:)