Today, my girlfriend had someone else dump me via text message. I knew it wasn't her because for once I wasn't being viciously insulted, and it wasn't written as if an illiterate baboon had taken a shit all over her keypad. I can't even feel happy about being rid of her. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend dumped me for another guy by text. I felt so betrayed, I stupidly tried to hurt her by replying that I'd been cheating on her all along with a hot babe. Turned out the dumping text was actually a prank by her friend. Now I'm single and everyone thinks I'm a cheater. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me through a text message. In retaliation, I started typing a long list of everything I hate about her. Just as I pressed the send button, she text me again saying "Just joking. You know I'd never leave you. Love you babe :)" FML
Today, my girlfriend left me for my best friend. Over a text message with "lol" in it. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me and threw all my stuff out into the yard because she caught me "texting another woman". Guess it didn't matter to her that the contact name was "Mom". FML
Today, my girlfriend dumped me. Her exact words used were "I like the idea of you, but I don't like you." I still don't know what that means. FML
Today, my girlfriend haltingly dumped me over the phone. Faint splashes punctuated her grunting, straining sounds. FML
Today, I dumped my girlfriend because she frequently wouldn't answer my texts or phone calls, and not call or message back for days. I felt that bringing it up made me a control freak. I couldn't take it anymore. FML
Today, I sent my girlfriend a text this morning saying I love you. I rarely do this and instead of receiving the same message back, I got a message from my girlfriend accusing me of meaning to send it to someone else and dumped me. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me via Twitter. FML
Today, I received a text from my girlfriend in which she broke up with me. I was upset, but one minute later another text from her said, "Sorry, wrong person." FML
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Top comments
grahambertus 11
Well it looks like life might get better without her.
JustAReaderZZZZ 10
Why did you choose to stay with her if you were always "viciously insulted"?
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Comments (77)
grahambertus 11
Well it looks like life might get better without her.
igese 11
Sounds as if the friend might be worth it though
Getspmak 15
Amen to that ;-)
clever_name_here 7
Morgan Freeman's words of wise
OtherSideStoryOf 3
I'm very sorry to hear. And I feel bad mostly because your now ex girlfriend sounds really stupid and annoying.
nicolemadden 11
Well OP also sounds "stupid and annoying" for dating someone he doesn't like. Obviously the girl isnt the only baboon.
Shrike 24
Something tells me you wouldn't be so harsh if OP was a woman and the abuser was a guy. Clue's in OP's name, idiot.
JustAReaderZZZZ 10
Why did you choose to stay with her if you were always "viciously insulted"?
Jemm_fml 29
Dunno why you got thumbs down, this is totally a legit question
JustAReaderZZZZ 10
Thank you. I know if my boyfriend was always insulting me, I wouldn't be sticking around.
ColdplaySucks 18
Maybe she's relatively attractive, given that OP would even decide to date an 'illiterate baboon.'
TheDrifter 24
She who wields the ****** holds the power. That's why he stayed.
Ameel_fml 19
I'm assuming the OP's girlfriend was fine when they first started dating, then when the relationship went downhill, that's when she started "viciously insulting" him.
JustAReaderZZZZ 10
#45, and that should have been the day he left. Or shortly after if it continued.
Getspmak 15
She is out of there!
TwiztedYuri 9
maybe that's what he likes... people can be weird
Faff 20
That's all easier said than done. OP obviously still loved her so im guessing that's why he didn't break up with her.
Hiimhaileypotter 53
Also, judging from his username, she was abusive. We know she was emotionally abusive, but she could also have been physically abusive. And abusers have a way of making their victims feel sorry for them, and that it's their own fault why they've been abused, and so they continue to stay with the abusive partner. I'm not saying this is exactly what happened with OP, but it could possibly be something like this.
Jirekianu2 19
Abusive relationships don't always follow logic.
PrincessPesa 20
@56 Yes, most women are only partially ***** anyway.
redbandit9877 12
People that don't even have the courage to break up with you face to face are almost never worth it.
fawfulster 11
I agree. OP, YDI. Dodged a bullet there.
TrueTriage 16
It's not so much YDI for losing them or being rid of them but a FYL for the person lacking the decency to not be able to end it themselves. Kudos too for staying loyal regardless of the bitchiness your girl friend sent your way
SystemofaBlink41 27
*Are NEVER worth it.
japtap81 16
Could have been her mom. My ex had his mom pretend to be his new girlfriend and dump me via text. No balls man, no balls.
DKjazz 20
What? WHAT?! Surely you're kidding. Even if it WAS his new girlfriend, what kind of way is that to break up with someone? "Yeah, he told me to tell you, that HE'S MINE NOW, BITCH". But add the fact that it's his mother, who willingly played the role. Ugh.
5123PaperStreet 12
You're obviously better off without her then. :)
True_NonBeliever 6
Well at least you're finally rid of her, doesn't matter who sent the text :)
nattynatters 14
Be happy! You're better off without an idiot girlfriend.
allie2590 31
Give her a piece of your mind! Take all those frustrations out on her and hopefully it'll give you some satisfaction. Don't just let someone get away with treating you like garbage. You deserve better!
Blue_Black_fml 21
Or he could just text her back saying that he has been waiting for the moment her sorry ass will be out of his life, and now that the moment has finally arrived, he will be celebrating!!
JustAReaderZZZZ 10
She'd just end up retorting that he could have broke up with her at any point in time.
Flowtastic 16
If she's annoyed you that bad, why was she the one that needed to break up with you?
KLeePrice 11
I'm assuming that she wasn't that way in the beginning of the relationship and by the time she started mentally abusing him, he already loved her.