Today, a middle-aged woman came into the shoe shop where I work, and asked me to help her put on a pair of boots that were obviously too small. Simultaneously as I knelt down by her feet, she booted me in the face while we tried to get them on. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was serving an incredibly rude woman at work. The ladder I had used to get her two pairs of shoes came crashing down, and hit my face and neck. She only bought one pair, and ten minutes later returned them after, complaining they were too expensive. FML
Today, at work, an obese woman insisted she took a size 5 shoe, despite me measuring her at a size 11. Then when the 5 I politely fetched for her didn’t come close to fitting, she told the manager I was fatshaming her. Her feet were ham joints below cankles as thick as my thigh. She stank too. FML
Today, I bought some shoes, but pissed off the lady working at the store by returning them 5 minutes later. She yelled at me and ripped my receipt in half, everyone in the store watched as she threw a handful of pennies at my face. FML
Today, I was trying on some shoes when I felt the heels break underneath me. Not only did they cost two paychecks worth, but as I was leaving I heard the sales girl say that "we really should have a weight limit for who can try on our products." FML
Today, while at the mall, a kid no older than 5 pushed a stroller into my heel, which caught the back of my shoe and caused me to face-plant the floor in the middle of a very crowded department store. I didn't even get an apology. FML
Today, I was getting a pedicure, and they used some sort of scrubby thing that really tickled my feet. When I couldn't take it any more, I accidentally kicked the lady who was doing my nails in the face. FML
Today, I was helping an old man find a pair of shoes. I told him about a particularly comfortable pair but had to inform him that they only came in black or white. Hearing this, the old man grabbed me around the neck and began to beat me in the head with our display shoe. He wanted brown. FML
Today, I was at the store with my wife. As we were walking out, I helped an elderly woman get through the door. As I was opening the door, my foot got stuck on the door and my face was catapulted into the woman's breasts. It wasn't until we got into the car that my wife burst into hysterics. FML
Today, I got punched in the back by elderly woman because she thought I was mocking the way she walked as I passed her. I was walking funny because I have a brace-boot on my foot due to the fact that it got run over. FML
Today, I was working at a shoe store and was helping a dude try on shoes. He looked like trouble and I wanted to finish with him. When he finally picked his shoes, he abruptly stood up and ran out of the store with the shoes on. The cost of them was deducted from my salary. $240. FML
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Top comments
allmidnighteyes 11
Shoes. Shoes. Shoes. Ohmygod. Shoes.
lover_of_life 8
The mental picture of this made me laugh. I'm sure it was an accident.
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Comments (76)
lacrossekid 0
don't be such a troll
lover_of_life 8
The mental picture of this made me laugh. I'm sure it was an accident.
48Connor 10
was the cop fat?
Subtext 10
A fat woman came into the store today...
TheRealFamilyGuy 5
did you start playing "these boots are made for walking" and get daisy duke out dancing? because that would be awesome
KikiThePug 0
27- Was that for the DUI-Cop FML?
Siren2 0
Chun-Li and her massive calves couldn't fit in the boots so she resorted to what she knows best: Kicking.
iSitt 0
denial of her shoe size brings a lifetime of pain and eventual bunions.
shepaintsmusic 6
49-win.
procussion 0
Trololol
starberries 0
#49, don't mention that stupid bitch's name. The movie about her was so goddamned awful that I hate any mention of her now.
BatteryAddict 11
I smell Al Bundy :D
the4starr 3
aww haha
allmidnighteyes 11
Shoes. Shoes. Shoes. Ohmygod. Shoes.
SmokyMcBong 1
those shoes are mine betch
chloec16 0
these shoes are 300 dollars, these shoes are 300 f*cling dollars. let's get them!
dn2k 0
lol I love old ppl
77taylah33 0
it said middle aged woman
dn2k 0
middle aged is old :)
marinus_fml 20
Granny hooker in the making.
marinus_fml 20
Oh wait. Middle age isn't old is it.
Wizardroxx 3
I think it's about 30-40 :)
mightymart 5
i think your both insecured faggety little attention ****** for showing off your muscles like that
extremenoodles 0
If she's trying on shoes and you're working, shouldn't you suggest a bigger size? It's not like clothes where they'd be offended...
allmidnighteyes 11
"Sorry, we only carry sizes 1, 3, and 5. You could try Sears."
sourgirl101 29
You'd be surprised how many women lie about their shoe size. Some don't want to admit to themselves that they have Godzilla feet.
ImaginaryFoe 1
If they were knee-high boots, it could be that her calves were too big and most shoe stores don't carry wide-calf boots. If she was a large woman, she might be offended at being told her legs were too big.
DocBastard 40
Cankles?
Alleged_Cranium 7
Many women lie about their shoe size. Then you see then in flip flops and their heels are hanging off of the back. Lookin' all stupid.
sourgirl101 29
Haha, what about the ones that toes hang off the front of their shoes like a cliff diver?
Siren2 0
Sadly insecurities make some women buy things that aren't made for their body type. Unfortunately this causes negative remarks which makes them even more insecure and buy more unflattering things. It's a spiral of lowering self esteem.
marinus_fml 20
Siren2 you did it wrong. The other side is meant to be the devil.
extremenoodles 0
Weird, I usually buy shoes that are too big. Guess I'm over compensating for something?
Glenn_Coco 0
#12 I am amaze you haven't figured out where my name is from haha
allmidnighteyes 11
Haha, with the amount of references I make to that, I definitely know where it's from. Four for you, Glenn Coco! You go, Glenn Coco!
bamagrl410 31
Hahaha I'm amazed no one else commented on the reference. Mean Girls ftw.
Glenn_Coco 0
hahaha Yay #12! :D! haha Mean Girls ftw for sure ;)
77taylah33 0
so does she have a good boot on her or does she just suck at kicking.
MagicMushrooms 0
Looks like you got a time waster there OP.
gleekalert 0
didn't you ever hear your mom? don't talk to strangers. they just might do tht