Double dump
Today, my girlfriend haltingly dumped me over the phone. Faint splashes punctuated her grunting, straining sounds. FML
Today, my girlfriend haltingly dumped me over the phone. Faint splashes punctuated her grunting, straining sounds. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend of 3 years broke up with me by taping a breakup note to my doorstep and ding-dong-ditching me. FML
Today, my girlfriend who I love very deeply dumped me two times, over the phone. The first time was to dump me. She then called me back a couple hours later explicitly to dump our friendship. I was just friend dumped. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Because she farted, and thought it was "too awkward". FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because she heard me say "love you" on the phone. I was talking to my mom. FML
Today, my girlfriend had someone else dump me via text message. I knew it wasn't her because for once I wasn't being viciously insulted, and it wasn't written as if an illiterate baboon had taken a shit all over her keypad. I can't even feel happy about being rid of her. FML
Today, I came home to hear my girlfriend break up with me, over the answering machine, with my entire family in the room. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. By making out with her new boyfriend in front of me. FML
Today, my girlfriend dumped me. Her exact words used were "I like the idea of you, but I don't like you." I still don't know what that means. FML
Today, my girlfriend dumped me because her dog "told her to". FML
Today, I broke up with my girlfriend. She responded by sitting on the floor, crying like a baby and screaming "WHY?" at strangers. FML
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Top comments
Gurljuice 0
She doubled her relief
sassypants93 17
That sounds like she got a big dumping in more ways than one.
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Comments (236)
undeadqueen528 0
yeah pooping and cheating at the sametime would be a clevland steamer!!!
fizzypop14 3
girls don't poop
Cloudmaker 3
HA! multitasking, love it
underpaid011 0
a double dump! a dump while taking a dump! or maybe the dump just reminded her of you, or the relationship. either way, it sucks to get flushed.
JackieTropics 0
Yikes man
keipher09 1
jeez this is not an English class hahaha
khaya 9
She is a true winner dumping you and getting laid at the same time.
04VWR32 6
what?
dougierocks 13
where did you take her for dinner last night?
baseballgirl25 6
ur better off without her. she sounds like a bitch.