Today, I overheard a little girl ask her mom if the round lady in purple was pretending to be a giant eggplant. I was the lady in purple. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my four year-old very loudly asked me if the little person she saw at the shops was like that because he didn't eat his vegetables. He definitely heard. FML
Today, as I was just finishing my grocery shopping, a little girl and her mother walked past. Seeing the little girl staring at me, I waved. The girl then pointed to me and asked her mother "Mommy, is that man pregnant?" FML
Today, I was in a store when a child looked at me and said to his mother "look at that tall man!" His mother replied "he's an evil giant isn't he, darling?" I then mimed being an evil giant to make the kid laugh. His mother slapped me. FML
Today, somebody in a store was talking about a girl who had a snake, and while I was walking out the store, an old lady asked me if I was the girl with the snake. I said no, to which she replied, "Oh, because you look like someone who would." FML
Today, a little girl looked at me and yelled "Mommy look, there's a real leprechaun!" FML
Today, I was working at a children's play centre, and my stomach was twisting and turning. Thinking no one was around, I let out a small fart, only to turn and see a little girl running to her mom, yelling, "Mommy! Mommy! That lady just farted and it sounded like daddy!" FML
Today, after having recently told my 4-year-old daughter that she won't grow big and tall if she doesn't eat her veggies, she decided to pass this wisdom on to a midget that we passed in the store. FML
Today, while at a restaurant, my 4 year-old son pointed at a lady and exclaimed, “Mom, her butt is even bigger than yours!” FML
Today, at work, a little girl was misbehaving. Her dad told her that she would look like me when she grows up. The little girl look horrified while Daddy laughed and kept reassuring her he was "just kidding." FML
Today, I took my very talkative toddler to a grocery store. As we passed a woman in an aisle, my kid pointed and said loudly, "Mummy, why does that lady have such a funny face?" I had to awkwardly apologize while my face went beet red. FML
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Top comments
ViolentBears 0
Were you pretending to be an eggplant? I don't think your disguise was good enough cause she didn't fall for it.
dmndrby789 0
kids say the darnest things lol
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Comments (144)
cradle6 13
How many of these "someone called me fat" fmls are there???
kindlystfupls 0
seriously like every other fml is a "someone noticed I'm a whale. poor me." lol
cradle6 13
Why was I moderated???? Seriously? I'm totally within the FML rules and regulations.
ohthebloodygore 16
43, you're an idiot.
fluorescentadole_fml 8
I know... my harmless joke was moderated, apparently they don't run a "creepy/dating site." haha
Sirin_fml 47
Uh, please actually read the rules you're citing next time, before whining in the comments section. It's annoying and embarrassing in equal measure for everyone else to read.
iBanana 17
Children eh?
whoisthisgirl 4
haha... diet perhaps?
AsianCookie247 14
I think so!
meowmeowwkitty 0
eggplant lady isnt the only one in need of a diet! you too "whoisthisgirl"!
Jizwold 0
u can't even see her body
Jizwold 0
u can't even see her body
jmac317 0
heheheheheehhehehehehee
MormonPornstar 7
Well... were you?
silvic84 0
ouchhhhh
sammy92 0
if you r tired of ppl making comments like this then do something about it!!!!
banana_buddy 6
Yes 12 I am tired of ppl making comments like yours. Replying to the first post even though ur comment is completely unrelated.
ohthebloodygore 16
23, I'm pretty sure it was meant for # 2. It's now moderated but it sounds as if she intended to reply to him, but accidentally replied to #1.
missory_missouri 0
That's the thing about kids...no filter.
JerryCedar 2
Kids and vaginas both!!! If only they did we would need less filters in the world...
Alex_The_Human 2
and you were dressed as an eggplant
iTerrorized 4
She should go on the reality show 'heavy' :)
mona_is_here 10
Or 'The Biggest Loser'
sgenfkshe 5
looks like OP should stop dressing up like a giant eggplant.:) lmao
cradle6 13
How many of these "someone called me fat" fmls are there???
jmac317 0
haah
annadorkable 0
too hilarious!! sorry for you op.
sooobe 3
dayumm!! look at that rack! behind you..
KUSHaholic 0
hahahahahaa
ViolentBears 0
Were you pretending to be an eggplant? I don't think your disguise was good enough cause she didn't fall for it.
likeyourelooking 6
Bahahaha awesome
resbian 0
i agree, you deserve it for being a bad eggplant.
danaaaLaEpic 0
Amberleigh! has an FML! omgg
dmndrby789 0
kids say the darnest things lol
samadams42 0
hahaaha with their hipping and hopping and oh ya know ehat im talking a bout.
juwood 7
Don't forget about the bippin' and the boppin' lol
xdust 4
so were you pretending to be an eggplant or not?
noni123 0
if she actually was planning to be an eggplant, then it wudnt b an fml! do u have a brain?!
ohthebloodygore 16
22, oh the irony. Did you happen to misplace your brain?
ohthebloodygore 16
30, no, #22 is just an idiot.
kingtz 6
#22 can't be a cat because cats have brains...
CryMoreFMLs 15
I dislike you already #36. I know for a fact I'm not an idiot nor do I have herpes. Good day to you. Only reason I read your profile was 'cause I couldn't tell if you were M/F.
violetdabomb 0
36, your profile looks like it was written by a mentally disturbed person.
persianjr1 7
36. your an ugly bitch, but then again, I'm too ******* stupid to spell "you're" correctly. I really don't deserve to live, what with my limited intelligence, and lack of social skills. I'm actually surprised I remember to breathe half the time!
ViolentBears 0
Oh, my freaking gosh. Are you effing kidding me? What is up with all these rude and insulting comments coming from you people? If you're going to make a comment to fight back against someone, don't insult their appearance. It's incredibly rude and we all know that there's probably a lot of other alternative insults that don't involve another's appearance because no one is perfect in their appearance. Gosh, y'all have terrible retaliation skills. Work on that instead of messing with the people that have been on FML forever and a day. =
ImKindaABigDeal 6
125 lol your picture says stop hating. is that for everyone other than yourself?
BigHoshJosh 0
gotta catch em all