dumped
Canada
Double dump
Today, my girlfriend haltingly dumped me over the phone. Faint splashes punctuated her grunting, straining sounds. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Anonymous
Qu?bec, Canada
Today, my girlfriend of 3 years broke up with me by taping a breakup note to my doorstep and ding-dong-ditching me. FML
musicyman55
United States
Today, my girlfriend who I love very deeply dumped me two times, over the phone. The first time was to dump me. She then called me back a couple hours later explicitly to dump our friendship. I was just friend dumped. FML
CHStennis_4
United States
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Because she farted, and thought it was "too awkward". FML
fucklife
Washington, United States
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because she heard me say "love you" on the phone. I was talking to my mom. FML
yesguysgetabusedtoo
Papamoa, New Zealand
It's for the best
Today, my girlfriend had someone else dump me via text message. I knew it wasn't her because for once I wasn't being viciously insulted, and it wasn't written as if an illiterate baboon had taken a shit all over her keypad. I can't even feel happy about being rid of her. FML
kukadaman
United States
Today, I came home to hear my girlfriend break up with me, over the answering machine, with my entire family in the room. FML
whysheheartless
United States
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. By making out with her new boyfriend in front of me. FML
dharp7
United States
Today, my girlfriend dumped me. Her exact words used were "I like the idea of you, but I don't like you." I still don't know what that means. FML
Afroman720
United States
Today, my girlfriend dumped me because her dog "told her to". FML
ddll
Singapore
Today, I broke up with my girlfriend. She responded by sitting on the floor, crying like a baby and screaming "WHY?" at strangers. FML
Top comments
Gurljuice 0
She doubled her relief
sassypants93 17
That sounds like she got a big dumping in more ways than one.
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Comments (236)
dannyswin 0
shit happens.
lexie719 4
#31 FTW
DrewPballBag 0
a few thoughts: your relationship was strained. she felt piles better afterwards. you both had an excrement time together. you drove her round the u-bend. you wiped your tears, she wiped her arse. you were tempted to splash out on a new ring for her (she needed one). she put the relationship behind her. you were bottom of her priorities. you squeezed her arm, she squeezed one out. you were too pushy, she was just pushing. when you said you wanted her to be engaged you didn't mean in the toilet cubicle. your kinky text about her pants around her ankles whilst on the phone to you really backfired, literally. you said 'I want to feel like I'm wanted' she heard 'I want to feel like I'm one turd'. ok I'm done... ;)
alexwild_fml 0
Literary genius
DrewPballBag 0
why thank you :)
failuristic 3
"haltingly"? Wtf, that's not how you use that word... I mean, you can, but it just doesn't work the context and makes it sound like you're REALLY desperate to use "big wurdz" in your sentences. WTF is wrong with you... e___o;;
wollzilla 0
guess your gf dumped more than one thing that day huh
holt06 0
Wow, what a shitty way to get dumped.
Dookeymuffin 0
sounds like you weren't the only thing she was dumping :x
MJ_Goobs_Xx 0
bitch can't even wait to **** another guy as soon as she decides to break up with you?? Man OP u must be pretty bad in bed x/
ALQ_fml 13
...Read pretty much any one of the comments on this page. Anywhere on here. It's pretty clear that she was taking a shit and not having sex.
angel55033 12
2 ***** with 1 flush
VikingPrincess19_fml 9
How classy of her >_>