Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex. I thought I'd be spontanous and spice things up, and gave her a spank across the butt. She started crying. FML
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Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex. I thought I'd be spontaneous and spice things up, and gave her a spank across the butt. She started crying. FML
Today, I was having sex with a girl. Things were getting pretty hot, so I decided to smack her butt. I missed. I smacked my balls instead. Real hard. FML
Today my girlfriend was on top during sex. I went to slap her butt, missed and nailed myself in the balls. We had to stop. She wouldn't stop laughing. FML
Today, my girlfriend thought it would be sexy to stick her finger up my ass during sex. I screamed like a little girl and barely managed to finish. Afterward, she said, 'Now you know how it feels.' FML
Today, I was cuddling on the couch with my girlfriend when I started to tickle her, she asked me to stop but I continued. She had a reaction, and kneed me in the happy sacks. FML
Today, I was fingering my girlfriend. When suddenly she started crying at the peak of her orgasm, when I asked what was wrong, she replied. "I-I-I MISS HIM!" She was crying about her ex boyfriend. While I was inside her. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend and as I pulled out to finish I slipped and ended up punching her in the stomach, I came while she was writhing in pain. FML
Today, while having sex, my girlfriend suddenly broke down and started crying. Apparently, when I'm horny, my face reminds her of her dead dog. FML
Today, my girlfriend asked me to tie her up and spank her while fucking her and calling her a slut. But heaven forbid I later scream at her during an argument. She wailed and gave me the silent treatment, all because I raised my voice. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, when I got a sudden agonising cramp in my foot. I cried out in pain, but he didn't stop. If anything, my cries of pain seemed to spur him on. FML
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Top comments
patrickalamo 48
50 shades of tears...
MinecraftGeek 8
Ouch, well I hope you at least asked her if she's alright...
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Comments (214)
LemonLolly 10
I would be pissed if someone did that to me
kaymi 17
I would've enjoyed it. Lol
glittercookies 12
You've never been spanked in bed before? It's sexy.
Jf770 10
Unless she was spanked as a child, which can potentially cause "Ass fear" (Which means getting really emotional and uncomfortable when touched in the butt area)
Calingaladha 21
In other words...literally being butthurt makes her emotionally butthurt.
riptor911 10
My gf always wants me to do it. It depends on the person.
Ynasia 5
What probably happened was that you weren't aware of your own strength as you did it...anyways, I think it'd be a good idea if you asked her first :), some girls don't like that type of thing.
sasha_kay 4
What a baby, I'd like that :3
hopsinlove17 26
Ahahaha. I like your...erm...cat(;
l_bmagic 4
I'm sure you need it
MrKapono 4
Dang sasha where you stay? I spank erreday ;)
dead247 13
I want to take you home with me...I mean, I would enjoy that as well...Gah! I mean...um...purple...
dutchpower 5
Yeah? Let's try (:
isamisis 9
I like it!
Zimmy3_ 7
wow, that's gotta be a big put down in your sexual relationship between you and your Girlfriend.. sucks!
kyat288 9
Whatta dick
xNephilim 19
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
YDI. You don't just jump on people with that kind of stuff. You ASK them if it's alright first. I really hope your girlfriend sticks her finger up your butt "to spice things up", without asking you.
boswood205 1
You need to kill yourself w a rack if u have nothing better to say
xgetxbentx 13
Slightly harsh, but ******* hilarious. I like it!
riptor911 10
Ah the virgin speaks. Do u ubderstand the word spontaneous? He doesnt have to ask he just got bad luck it was something she didnt like. Should he ask her before he asks her to marry him so she doesnt cry? Didnt think so.
Lady_Eemia 6
Yes, he should ask her before he asks her to marry him. If you're not discussing the idea of marriage, or at least a future together, before an actual proposal, you're doing something wrong.
curlyfry33 8
Hey that might not be so bad, Eminem liked it!
xNephilim 19
147- Not that it's any of your business, but I'm not a virgin. My fiancé and I have tried several things in bed, but NONE of them were "spontaneous". We always talked about it before, to make sure the other was comfortable with it. It's a matter of RESPECT. When it comes to sex, being spontaneous doesn't mean just doing new thing randomly. It means to do things you know your partner likes at unexpected times. And yes, marriage should be discussed before proposing. Otherwise, you might end up in a situation where your partner says no because they don't want to get married.
damnimfine99 1
Youre 19 and ******* engaged
s3kShUn47 20
#231, And you're not or weren't. Does anyone care? No.
Dracoboxer357 36
Op, I think have missed an important step in your relationship with your girlfriend. It's called Communication. :) I give you a B- for the attempt, and an F for the end result, for an overall grade of a D-. Assure her you meant well (yes, communicate) and make it up to her, Tiger. ;)
skittlesmeep 4
lol.. first thought that came to mind.. 'is she too young to be having sex?'
ninjagirl12 0
That was mine as well. Haha
Migole 36
Same here... I mean, it's just a little spank. Not like he was abusing her or something. But some girls are just too sensitive on those subjects I guess :) (Note: I'm a girl myself)
totallydonteven 5
No, but maybe she was abused as a child or teen or w/e and it triggered some harsh memories for her. FYI, not liking spanking in bed does not mean you're too young for sex. Everyone has different tastes and desires. And reacting dramatically to something that is quite possibly a trigger and bearer of bad things to the OP's GF also doesn't make her too young for sex. I mean it is possible they both are, but we don't know. Just like we don't know if she was abused or anything like that that could cause her to react how she did.
countryrose92 23
Seriously, what's wrong with a couple spanks of spice it up, unless the guy hit her hard or she is to young, them it shouldn't be a big deal.
wistfulorangeade 12
Some. Girls. Don't. Like. That. It's that simple. I think it's disgusting and horrible, and if a man did it to me, I'd stick something up his ass.
Dracoboxer357 36
15- Oddly enough, one of my brilliant co-workers attempted something similar: He lubed up his condom with Tiger Balm before having sex with his girlfriend. I believe he thought it'd be "interesting". She was not amused. ;)
TheDrifter 24
I hope you weren't talking dirty to her too. Any mention of "who's your daddy" combined with a spanking strays into dangerously perverse territory.
MustangGirl72 9
I never understood the "who's your daddy?" line. I mean I wouldn't want to have sex with my dad. It's just creepy to me.
Laurenlou 24
81- While I also find it quite disturbing, I think it's supposed to mean something like, "Who's in charge." I guess some woman like to feel dominated!
worlds123dumbest 4
My question is why a nun is on FML... With also that comment... 0.o