Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex. I thought I'd be spontanous and spice things up, and gave her a spank across the butt. She started crying. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex. I thought I'd be spontaneous and spice things up, and gave her a spank across the butt. She started crying. FML
Today, I was having sex with a girl. Things were getting pretty hot, so I decided to smack her butt. I missed. I smacked my balls instead. Real hard. FML
Today my girlfriend was on top during sex. I went to slap her butt, missed and nailed myself in the balls. We had to stop. She wouldn't stop laughing. FML
Today, my girlfriend thought it would be sexy to stick her finger up my ass during sex. I screamed like a little girl and barely managed to finish. Afterward, she said, 'Now you know how it feels.' FML
Today, I was cuddling on the couch with my girlfriend when I started to tickle her, she asked me to stop but I continued. She had a reaction, and kneed me in the happy sacks. FML
Today, I was fingering my girlfriend. When suddenly she started crying at the peak of her orgasm, when I asked what was wrong, she replied. "I-I-I MISS HIM!" She was crying about her ex boyfriend. While I was inside her. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend and as I pulled out to finish I slipped and ended up punching her in the stomach, I came while she was writhing in pain. FML
Today, while having sex, my girlfriend suddenly broke down and started crying. Apparently, when I'm horny, my face reminds her of her dead dog. FML
Today, my girlfriend asked me to tie her up and spank her while fucking her and calling her a slut. But heaven forbid I later scream at her during an argument. She wailed and gave me the silent treatment, all because I raised my voice. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, when I got a sudden agonising cramp in my foot. I cried out in pain, but he didn't stop. If anything, my cries of pain seemed to spur him on. FML
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Top comments
patrickalamo 48
50 shades of tears...
MinecraftGeek 8
Ouch, well I hope you at least asked her if she's alright...
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Comments (214)
MinecraftGeek 8
Ouch, well I hope you at least asked her if she's alright...
TheSnakeDoctor20 17
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
That's what OP gets for dating a toddler.
Lexi_princess 3
#28 just because she is sensitive on her butt doesn't make her a toddle, pervert.
Futacy 30
She's not really in any pain, she's just crying because she's upset about the size of your penis, so keep on tappin' dat ass!
akayc32 0
Clever, Futacy, I'm sure that's it.
one_unlucky_guy 9
Please thumb down this comment.
BioncaLuLu69 3
***** not sliding -_- ******* typos.....Today, at the water park, my grandmothers boob slipped out. Everytime I close my eyes, I see her dangling breast in my mind. FMLToday, at the water park, my grandmothers boob slipped out. Everytime I close my eyes, I see her dangling breast in my mind.
ObeyAlliance 7
Are you alright 139?
SirCharles83 13
Did you use the tears as lube?
mmenegal 7
Wtf? That makes no sense..
MDTeddy 13
A lot of people would prefer you not do that. It seems like a mean thing to do anyway.
HollyDolly660 8
The same thing happened to me, except he slapped me across the face.. When a guy gets into it, there's just more force than there is meant to be. Just let her cry it out for a few and apologize, then she'll be good for round two.
Futacy 30
YDI for pimp slapping your girlfriend!
djinnsnme 19
You posted on the wrong FML I think.
Futacy 30
^^ you posted on the wrong FML i think
the_last_chance 6
I hope you get better
JustKittyKat 24
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Never try something new in bed unless you ask your partner. You wouldn't want them to feel uncomfortable.
ninjagirl12 0
'spontaneous'
JustKittyKat 24
And if your partner isn't into being spontaneous? You should talk about boundaries before getting intimate. If your partner says it's okay to surprise them, go for it. If not, you have to know your limits.
amypr 20
Or at the very least, start with soft taps!
fymother 13
YES! That's why I don't understand why so many people said "I agree, your life sucks" rather than YDI. OP's gf may 1.) not find pleasure in being spanked or 2.) have been physically abused when younger or by a past partner and thus spanking may be triggering or 3.) etc. ANY of those reasons are perfectly legitimate! I hope OP stopped right there for an apparently much-needed discussion....
Life_is_FML 22
Maybe she'd be okay with it if spelled spontaneously right.
Drigr 9
22 - Surprise anal is spontaneous too, doesn't mean every girl wants it. 179 - spelling has nothing to do with verbal English, so no, I doubt that matters.
takrushi 4
Boy, put down that copy of Fifty Shades of Grey. PUT IT DOWN.
Jirekianu2 19
211, that is a hugely overblown comparison. That's like a guy saying he went hunting and you tell him to stop making deer go extinct.
CorvetteC3 0
Oh it's a ******* spanking. Not a choke hold and a golden shower. She's just being a baby!
NostalgiaFreak9 43
169 What you're saying does make sense, and if she were a victim of abuse, giving the context of this story, obviously the poster was unaware of it and didn't mean any harm. If anything, if she actually were an abuse victim, I think she should've told him about her past before deciding to have sex so he wouldn't do anything to make her feel uncomfortable.
LoveMyKoolaid 0
Right on that ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass. Stop now it's mother ******* crying time. Go stupid....
theslimshadylp 6
What?
JustDerpin 11
Ew, Nicki Minaj
hopsinlove17 26
Big Sean impersonation? Watch out, we got a badass over hur.
hopsinlove17 26
Take it down a notch amazon man(; ha, kidding
dude1122332 9
Woah! Kids are learning so much faster now a days.
hopsinlove17 26
Blame society I guess.
LolFMLnot 10
. Sole girls tend to be more sensitive than others. Don't worry OP make it up to her
nevershoutkendal_fml 11
Sole girls?
TheSithAssassin 15
Some
LolFMLnot 10
Some* i swear i edit it at the end I guess it didn't go through.
Forlorn420 9
You knew what he meant, why bother correcting him. Unnecessary
babalooisbabaloo 5
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Bitches be sensitive.
pokefan813 16
No, she's just hurt.
MrKapono 4
I gave this a thumbs up...jus sayin
Branflakes78 13
not called for
curlyfry33 8
Bad babaloo, Bad! *smacks nose with rolled up news paper*
I_lost_the_game 25
Well, they're going to be sensitive if you call them "bitches"
Boygenius50 8
Hahaha didn't this happen in some shitty Ben Stiller movie? It happened in a movie, I'm sure of it...
patrickalamo 48
50 shades of tears...
Inheritance 10
This comment = a win. Codos to you good sir!
Kimitte 1
53 - It's spelled "kudos", unless you were aiming for something else. :)
Inheritance 10
I've never used the phrase before so i didn't know, apologies.
gc327072 31
Ethos to you sir! Wait....
ygdrassil 17
Logos to you!
Meettitan 14
71- Rhetoric?
xxdark 3
108, google it. You just made me facepalm.
GothicAngel17 24
108- I really hope you're joking.
patebishop 7
Close guess. Ethos is a type of rhetorical appeal.
jizzwold 21
167 I didn't even see that haha well I'm glad that they know what rhetoric is AND know how to spell.
ApologyKick 25
Alright if nobody else is gonna say it.... Pathos?
deadxwedding84 5
Sadist. Jk
salamq 6
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Dude were you abusing her lol
hopsinlove17 26
I think there's a difference between kinky and abusive.
salamq 6
I wasn't being serious but I'm used to people taking things too seriously on this site so it's ok :D life is good
Dracoboxer357 36
^ Kinky compared to abusive.....kinda like the difference between erotic and fetish: one's using a feather in the bedroom. The other, the whole chicken. ;P