Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex. I thought I'd be spontanous and spice things up, and gave her a spank across the butt. She started crying. FML
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Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex. I thought I'd be spontaneous and spice things up, and gave her a spank across the butt. She started crying. FML
Today, I was having sex with a girl. Things were getting pretty hot, so I decided to smack her butt. I missed. I smacked my balls instead. Real hard. FML
Today my girlfriend was on top during sex. I went to slap her butt, missed and nailed myself in the balls. We had to stop. She wouldn't stop laughing. FML
Today, my girlfriend thought it would be sexy to stick her finger up my ass during sex. I screamed like a little girl and barely managed to finish. Afterward, she said, 'Now you know how it feels.' FML
Today, I was cuddling on the couch with my girlfriend when I started to tickle her, she asked me to stop but I continued. She had a reaction, and kneed me in the happy sacks. FML
Today, I was fingering my girlfriend. When suddenly she started crying at the peak of her orgasm, when I asked what was wrong, she replied. "I-I-I MISS HIM!" She was crying about her ex boyfriend. While I was inside her. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend and as I pulled out to finish I slipped and ended up punching her in the stomach, I came while she was writhing in pain. FML
Today, while having sex, my girlfriend suddenly broke down and started crying. Apparently, when I'm horny, my face reminds her of her dead dog. FML
Today, my girlfriend asked me to tie her up and spank her while fucking her and calling her a slut. But heaven forbid I later scream at her during an argument. She wailed and gave me the silent treatment, all because I raised my voice. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, when I got a sudden agonising cramp in my foot. I cried out in pain, but he didn't stop. If anything, my cries of pain seemed to spur him on. FML
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Top comments
patrickalamo 48
50 shades of tears...
MinecraftGeek 8
Ouch, well I hope you at least asked her if she's alright...
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Comments (214)
DocBastard 40
Did you say "THAT'S for dropping the dish on the floor!" when you did it? You may be slightly misguided in your spanking technique.
SqueakyChipmunk 22
Not everybody likes to be spanked. That shit hurts--why do you think little kids cry too?
vbmg152 19
It doesn't hurt if you do it right!
SqueakyChipmunk 22
Gently down the stream...
Shadow_Phantom 26
Like they said; doesn't hurt if you do it right. I was spanked as a kid, but for some reason find it sexy now that I'm older. Then again, I'm not being spanked with a belt, soooo... yeah.
SqueakyChipmunk 22
Aww. I thought it was time for another random song thread. D:
SqueakyChipmunk 22
Yes! :D
I_lost_the_game 25
Does that song thread on any comment apply to everyone?
Dracoboxer357 36
^ Guys, looks like we got ourselves a little acapella group forming. Count me in. ;) The rest.....will be history. ;P
kitty292 9
You should always ask before trying something new during sex.
vbmg152 19
Some of us like it (not naming names) & some don't! Always ask first! YDI
vbmg152 19
Lol!! :-)
skippymagee 5
Hopefully tears of joy. Maybe she's into that kind of thing. Pain turns into pleasure.
GigiMcGee 9
Someone watches too much kinky ****?
mea_iloveskiing 26
I hope you're not a volleyball player.
TADspace 30
Don't hit your girlfriend.
rebelliousshroom 12
You can't just take a wild guess at what would spice things up for her... Spanking is a mild form of bondage/discipline, and if you had no indication that she's into that, and that she would prefer the submissive role, then YDI. But in your defense, spanking has been oddly normalised, the way people talk about it. As if this is something that most girls like, or should like. Personally I've never seen the point of it. It just hurts. Or if it doesn't, it doesn't really do anything at all. Unless you use it in a "you've been a bad girl and need to be punished"-context, in which case it has a psychological effect - given that your partner is aroused by degrading. Which, obviously, is not a given.
igetitincum2win 11
Did you get the blue balls after?