Today, I discovered that my cleaning lady steals valuables from me, and covered it up by saying that "the vacuum must've eaten it." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Scumbag
Today, my scumbag landlady broke into my place and stole my mop, which I refused to give her earlier. She denied everything and tried to convince me that some criminal broke in using a key, stole only my mop, and was nice enough to lock up on the way out. FML
Suspicious activity
Today, I visited my girlfriend's apartment for the first time. I guess she forgot to do some spring cleaning before I showed up, because I saw my laptop on her couch. The same laptop that was stolen from my house along with several other valuables last week. FML
May be
Today, while I was at my job as senior care, I was in a client's home vacuuming the carpet and found a very used vibrator that belonged to his wife. It wasn't clean. FML
Today, I found out that the pool boy has been stealing from me for over a year now. The latest things that he has taken are my laptop, the cash I hide in my closet, and my wife. FML
Piggy banked
Today, I discovered my own mother has been stealing money from me for months when I opened my savings box to find it empty. FML
Today, was my first day at my new job in a shop. 10 minutes after my first customer leaves I realize she managed to steal $200 worth of merchandise while she had me getting stuff for her from the back room. FML
**** ICE
Today, the lady whose house I clean insists I stole her Hermes bag. I never went into her closet when cleaning; just her kitchen, living room and bathrooms. Apparently, it's worth $4000. She threatened to "call ICE and Homeland Security" if I don't "cough it up." I'm a naturalized citizen. FML
Today, I realised half my underpants were missing. In related news, my slob of a housemate hasn't washed hers in several weeks, and has been stealing mine. FML
Today, I got caught shoplifting a toothbrush. I'm flat broke and my roommate used my old one to scrub out her cat's puke stains off the carpet. FML
Today, the cleaning lady left a note that said my room was too dirty to clean. FML
Top comments
Pixiewolfe 46
Oh, that's an awkward excuse considering you can take vacuums apart to get stuff back!
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Comments (1)
Pixiewolfe 46
Oh, that's an awkward excuse considering you can take vacuums apart to get stuff back!