Today, my roommate came home after a night of heavy drinking and started urinating on my bed. When I confronted him, he just slurred, "Sorry, thought it was my bed." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I woke up to a strange wetness covering my body. My drunk roommate's urine. FML
Today, I woke up to hear my boyfriend drunkenly crashing around in the living room, after peeing in an ashtray because he thought it was a urinal. FML
Today, my loser roommate got wasted. He comes to me before going to bed, tells me he loves me, tries to hug me, then explosively vomits all over my face, my hair, my clothes. Then spends the rest of the night retching. FML
Today, I woke up to find that I'd left my clothes in my roommate's bedroom. After returning from a night of heavy drinking, I apparently got up to use the bathroom and used her room as a toilet. I don't remember this, but pee stains don't lie. FML
Today, my husband came home late from drinking with his buddies, only to toss and turn and keep me up for an hour. He then sat up and didn't move for a few minutes. I sat up to see what was wrong, only to see him pissing on the carpet beside our bed. FML
Today, I arrived in my dorm at 3 am to find my roommate passed out and a nauseating stench. While I was gone, he got drunk and puked all over the walls, carpet, and both beds. His inebriated attempt to clean up the mess consisted of smearing his vomit everywhere with my shower robe. FML
Today, I woke up after a night out partying only to find I'd wet the bed. I was so ashamed that I rolled my girlfriend into it to avoid taking the blame. FML
Today, my roommate reached a whole new level of laziness: I caught him casually peeing into an empty beer bottle while laying in bed. FML
Today, a friend of mine got a bit drunk, but said she was fine and didn't feel drunk at all. I took her keys anyway and said she could sleep on my bed, while I slept on the floor next to the bed. I was rudely woken up in the middle of the night to her rolling over and vomiting on my face. FML
Today, after a night of drinking, I woke up with some chips in my bed. I thought it was funny so I went to tell my roommate. Her response was, "That's so funny! It's a typical night out for the two of us. I wake up the next morning with a boy in my bed and you wake up with food in yours." FML
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Top comments
extremereviews 26
You could punch him in the face without him even remembering it
man_in_black08 28
He took pissing you off to the next level!
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Comments (46)
rmays96 15
Yes because it's totally normal to pee on your own bed!
higgysaurus 18
Makes it warm so when you get in it, it isn't freezing cold :)
cheeeksss 29
But then it eventually gets cold and then you have a cold, wet, smelly bed >
Xese 6
Well, it gets cold quickly unless you keep peeing on it whenever it gets cold.
extremereviews 26
You could punch him in the face without him even remembering it
Lucario227 22
It's always fun to piss the bed, until you have to come sleep in it. But in this case, I guess not. Make him pay to get you new sheets or to clean them.
dramaelf 37
I think you and I have different ideas of fun.
Lucario227 22
I think so too.
LeashaJoy5595 28
Heck, since he was so drunk, just switch mattresses. Get a whole new bed and stick him with the stinky piss one.
gosh_mate 30
I hope he was just really out of it and peeking on his own bed isn't a regular occurrence... Make sure he cleans it up though!
Brandi_Faith 34
The problem is, unless op happens to have a waterproof mattress protector, the urine is going to seep into the mattress. Could ruin a perfectly good mattress. Gross.
dramaelf 37
Don't piss where you sleep.
man_in_black08 28
He took pissing you off to the next level!
andrmac 25
More pissed on!
Polynomial 28
Shit doesn't happen.
A07 48
Drunk people should be put inside a large air bubble to make everyone's lives easier
Brandi_Faith 34
People should just learn to know their limit so they don't go destroying everyone else's and their own lives. How many people have done horribly stupid things to themselves or others and blamed it on being drunk to the point where they no longer know or remember what they're doing? They use it as an excuse and then go and get drunk to that point again. Know your limit people, or don't drink. Simple.
Yastiss 3
Know your limit, stay within it! :)
Tripartita 45
I really hope you corrected him and walked him to his own bedroom to relieve himself.
Tripartita 45
"no."
RidingHood 10
He just wanted to warm you up a bit.