Today, my boyfriend and I were messing around in his car. I then decided I was going to give him a blowjob for the first time. As I was going down, he grabbed my chin and said, "Don't do that, your mouth isn't clean enough." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, after going down on my boyfriend, we were cuddling and I went to kiss him. Just before I could reach his lips, he ran his finger over my mouth and whispered, "S-s-s-semen." FML
Today, I was giving my boyfriend a long blowjob and had to pause for a minute because my mouth became exceedingly dry. His solution? Spit directly in my mouth. FML
Today, I asked my boyfriend if he could finally go down on me. He said, "No, that's disgusting" and then asked me for a blowjob. FML
Today, my boyfriend was making salsa and got jalepeno juice all over his mouth. A little bit later, he started going down me. He hadn't washed his mouth. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were kissing. Halfway through the kiss, he rubs his tongue along all my teeth and says, "You need to brush your teeth." FML
Today, I gave my boyfriend a blowjob for the first time. This is the moment he chooses to exclaim, "Wow, you really do have a lot of dandruff!" FML
Today, I was giving my boyfriend a blow job. I thought it was going great and I was doing a good job, until he told me to "stop chomping on it like it's a hot dog." FML
Today, I finally felt ready to give my boyfriend a blowjob. Barely 20 seconds in, he said: "I'll be honest, this is TERRIBLE." FML
Today, I tried to tease my boyfriend by pulling my skirt up, bending over, and backing up into him. He gagged and said, "Please, wash your ass." FML
Today, I was getting dirty with my boyfriend. It was the first time he had fingered anyone, and the only thing he said was, "It feels like the inside of my asshole." FML
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Top comments
escape2music 0
try brushing your teeth?
OneandOnlyOne 0
Never ever offer to do it again. If he hints that he wants one, tell him his penis isn't clean enough for your mouth. He sounds like a REAL moron!
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Comments (85)
suckerz 0
he's retarded... but what's with the girls talkin about it being the first time or them never having done it... that's just part of sex...
Scotticus117 11
YDI for not chewing orbit.
LatinoHeat 0
This is SUCH a YDI. Next time brush your teeth you nasty ho.
Nightfallz 0
ydi apparently. he thinks you have herpes
newagegoddess 0
That guy is a dumb ass. Maybe HE was embarrassed because he didn't wash up and instead of admitting it, he the switched the reason and pinned it on you. He's a dumb jerk.
why_me14 0
YDI for not brushing your teeth!
brklnsugar 0
is he gay?!?
flyingtoasters 0
Wow... OP never said anything about having bad breath or not brushing her teeth... OP: Maybe he was nervous and blurted out something, I would talk to him about it and figure out why he flipped. You could of course never offer again. :)
mezentius 0
Probably meant like "Your mouth won't be clean enough to kiss if you do that." I was always weirded out by the idea of kissing a girl right after she gave you a BJ.
Ughsucks 0
What on earth is weird about that? Nvm I don't even want to know.... probably afraid it will make you gay or something.
lloyd1992 0
lol thats cute
sorini 0
I never thought about that. You may be right. OP, is he right?
SomeonePosting 0
Somehow I doubt it. If that were true, he would have corrected himself and she wouldn't have had as much reason to be upset(and post on FML). Just because I feel like continuing your train of thought, I'm sort of on the opposite side. I don't see why some people think it's so strange to kiss their partner after receiving oral. I mean, you're already expecting someone else to go down on you, but you can't handle a hint of your *own* residue?
xNephilim 19
My fiancé doesn't like it because he doesn't want to, um, taste himself... Yeah, TMI.
Daaniellee1234 8
how on earth is that not weird. It would be like have your cum in your own mouth.. gross.