Today, my boyfriend was making salsa and got jalepeno juice all over his mouth. A little bit later, he started going down me. He hadn't washed his mouth. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend and I were messing around in his car. I then decided I was going to give him a blowjob for the first time. As I was going down, he grabbed my chin and said, "Don't do that, your mouth isn't clean enough." FML
Today, after going down on my boyfriend, we were cuddling and I went to kiss him. Just before I could reach his lips, he ran his finger over my mouth and whispered, "S-s-s-semen." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I shared our first kiss. His partly digested nachos decided to make an appearance halfway through. FML
Today, I bit my boyfriend's neck. I felt something squirt into my mouth. Turns out I had just popped a pimple on his neck. Into my mouth. FML
Today, as I hadn’t showered yet, I told my boyfriend not to go down on me in case it smelled "down there." We started kissing instead, but he made a "blech" face, then went down on me anyway. Apparently my morning breath was worse than unwashed crotch. FML
Today, I was about to make out with my boyfriend, so I quickly swallowed my gum. Moments later, I started choking on the gum, and ended up spitting it out into his face. FML
Today, I was with my boyfriend, and we started to get a little kinky. He laid me down roughly on the bed, but I started to slide off, so I pulled myself up. In doing so, I managed to knee him in the nut-sack, causing him to puke. FML
Today, I was giving my boyfriend a long blowjob and had to pause for a minute because my mouth became exceedingly dry. His solution? Spit directly in my mouth. FML
Today, I witnessed my boyfriend sneeze in his hands, and then lick it. FML
Today, I was watching a romantic comedy at my boyfriend's house. During the make out scene, I decided to go in for a kiss. He apparently decided to belch at the same time. I could taste it. FML
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Top comments
hellokat1 0
Fire crotch!
Danniiboii22 0
nice way to "spice" up the sex lol :D
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Comments (84)
hellokat1 0
Fire crotch!
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
My daddy warned me against this... But I ain't getting no pussy anyway :(
HeyBabez 0
That is tottaly disrectful. LEarn some mannrs young man, that was totally out of line
Twigggy 0
He won't learn any manners* until you learn how to spell. Not to totally* be disrespectful* or anything.
ohthebloodygore 16
9, I'm with 17; LEarn to spell.
TheRealFamilyGuy 5
OPs boyfriend must of been * puts on glasses* trying to spice things up YEEAAAHHHH!!!!
falluke17 0
speling is fore loozerz
HeyBabez 0
*wont
Action_Bastard 0
Hey I thought jalapenos were good for eating tacos.
roeallen 11
31 - OMFG! I almost died. thank you for making my life.
OrginalOwen 0
That sounds like a sticky situation!! Haha!!
austin1414 3
17, ur a grammar Nazi. 9, ur a grammar Jew.
GrooveSponge 0
Burn, baby, burn, pussy inferno!
WarriorOmen 25
****** literally though!
omgshaylaaa 0
hahaa. you have a fire crotch.
tboydlong7 0
haha well at least he went down on you!!!
Danniiboii22 0
win lol :)
Danniiboii22 0
I would go down on u :)
crabgass 3
wow ur hitting on chicks all over the place you must get sooo much ass
Danniiboii22 0
indeed lmao give me ur email in my messages I'll send u pic of them lmao
Danniiboii22 0
nice way to "spice" up the sex lol :D
fisheatsbear 6
I find you creepy/pervert. weird, huh?
Danniiboii22 0
haha I ain't u bitch u got aids on ur lips
ohthebloodygore 16
23, what the **** did you just say? My apologies for cursing.
Euphemism 0
19, 15. Wait, wait he's right he doesn't have a aid. But he does has an cyber pornography obsession, by the tell of how he took his pic.
Euphemism 0
Five, you're right you don't have aid. But, but you are in need of aid to stop your obsession of cyber-porngraphy. By the looks of how you took your picture. And do me a favor, don't reply unless you're going to say it right, yes in a proper English.
fisheatsbear 6
you can tell he's addicted to pron by how he took his picture? (´･_･`)
Euphemism 0
33- Yes, it is frequently ideal to tell if they're an obsession or not. Because oftenly people would take the pic by theirselves, and give a gay looking of their facial expression. If not obsession, it would be more of joy, etc facial expression and not taken by theirselves. But other than that, it's just a theory. But a reasonable one to my own opinions.
ImAnInsomniac 3
he's 17 and his picture is the kind a 14 year old girl takes of herself... just saying.
irockfendergirl 0
19- Are you always this stupid, or are you just making a special effort today?
WHAT_THA_PHUCK 0
LMFAO! Who taught you proper English? Your English is far from proper :)
mshooter 0
43 It would be extremely unwise to anger ignorance. I have no balls anymore because of it.
Draminicaus 0
44, don't antagonize him. Trying to reason with him is like trying to talk politics with a Russian using Japanese kanji.
Euphemism 0
58. Get over it already. No need to be moron enough to bring one post/reply into many or all of the posts/ reply that I put up.
Draminicaus 0
I wasn't bringing anything anywhere. I was commenting on how much of a ding-a-ling you are. Ding-a-ling is a euphemism, by the way.
Danniiboii22 0
maybe because your a dumb ass. that's sucks alot of dick on your spare time.
Spenerish 0
Hitting on people with smiley faces isn't very attractive.
kemando 22
"that's sucks"? can't use words in proper context either?
firecapez 4
*idiocracy
EvilCupcake8361 9
82: it's you're and alot isn't a word you douche dick biscuit
smileq6 6
lol I like the pun : p
DeaDGoD14 0
Man you folk are cruel... I don't see the need to become Surly McDouchebag over a bad pun...
D_JamesG 3
And what's so bad about sucking dick anyway? Someone has to do it or else no one gets a *******
ashleyylove3 22
Wow 82, that sounded like a very clever and thought out response! I applaud you for your seemingly vigorous efforts.
thecrazyasian 3
yum spicy pussy
ginga_ninja_9001 0
YES! ahaa
brootalxkeni 0
ahhhh! that happened to me once but with wing stop atomic wings lol it BURNS!
Euphemism 0
In case that creep comes, Jose.... don't even start it, or even think about saying it. You're creep enough for someone to kill you...
daznad 0
I feel so bad for you 8. let me make it up to you by going down on you with ice in my mouth. might soothe?
bunnixbrutality 5
or you could just get some iceyhot and it can equal out bahaha
ginga_ninja_9001 0
thats hot;D
Pocahontas22_fml 0
ouch...
Fmyspam 0
That's hot.
Mirorbo 27
Oh goodness... I can only imagine how much that would hurt! Worse than lemon on a papercut by ten most likely.
josebeto1 6
Ouch.