Today, my long-distance girlfriend drunk dialed me and told me she was horny. Surprised, I exclaimed, "You're horny?" without realizing my boss was right next to me. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my co-worker handed me the phone and said it was my boyfriend calling, so I answered "Hello, Love!" It was my boss. FML
Today, sleeping in a little late, I was woken up by my phone. Still tired, I quickly checked the display to realize it was my girlfriend calling. I pick up the phone saying, "Hey baby girl!" She seemed pretty startled, so I double-checked and realized it was my new boss, who has the name as my girlfriend. FML
Today, my boss mistakenly drunk-texted me and was talking shit about me. FML
Today, my husband called me from work just to chat. He asked what I had been up to today. I was feeling frisky so I told him all about how I had gotten horny, watched a porno and masturbated earlier. It wasn't until I heard the hoots and laughter that I realized he had me on speakerphone. FML
Today, I was woken up by my drunk girlfriend calling me and saying how much she loves me. She then stopped to tell the guy she was in bed with to be quiet because I might hear him. FML
Today, my girlfriend text me and told me to do something sexy because she was going to FaceTime me. I eagerly dropped my pants and started stroking it to get ready for her. As soon as I opened her call, she was standing with my wife. I literally got caught with my dick in my hand. FML
Today, I was working by myself at a retail store and I was bored so I called my boyfriend. I woke him up and he was feeling frisky, and as things were getting heated, I started to moan and say dirty things… Until the entire rack of clothes fell over and revealed my boss hiding. He had a boner. FML
Today, I was sexting my boss. I realised that I wasn't texting my boyfriend after I'd sent 2 nudes, and received many sexually provocative responses. FML
Today, I accidentally said, "Bye, love you," to a co-worker as I clocked out. Before I made it home, I had six missed calls and a long text from my co-worker professing her love to me. FML
Today, I woke up to my girlfriend having phone sex less than 10 feet away from me. FML
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Top comments
daytoday21 10
Why so surprised anyway?
perdix 31
Drunk, horny and far away? Your boss knowing that is the least of your problems. A man on her end of the phone should be of more immediate concern to you! This is not going to end well.
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Comments (57)
XxTaliaxX 16
Yikes! that must have been embarrassing.
SoulAmeliorate 16
Boss: "Well, I thought you'd never ask!"
Matt_greener 8
I would play it off like " oo she said yo homey. :p" Just cause i'm a fast thinker like that.
xXHollowIchigoXx 17
#18 I would've starred at my boss, made that face in your profile pic, and yelled "Impossibruh!" into the phone. Cuz I'm socially awkward like that.
Matt_greener 8
#48 i ruined your comment by changing my picture :( i'm sorry.
daytoday21 10
Why so surprised anyway?
Damian95 16
Open mouth insert foot.
Blee864 16
I'd told boss man I felt sick and had to go!!
MathildeDamm 17
Tell*... even though the rest of your comment still doesn't make sense.
fishstick557 14
3 it was a long distance girlfriend
firefighter925 18
I got you man... we don't need time for grammar! we put the wet stuff on the red stuff!!
firefighter925 18
have*
dancinwookie 21
#34- No time for grammar, but then immediately correct yourself? Make up your damn mind!
CamcAmIaM 10
Silly hose-monkeys
nikki_1717_ 8
Been there!
lilhellian 27
I think recieving a sext tops this
RedPillSucks 33
Did you satisfy her with sexy star wars references?
perdix 31
Drunk, horny and far away? Your boss knowing that is the least of your problems. A man on her end of the phone should be of more immediate concern to you! This is not going to end well.
daytoday21 10
Just because she's horny doesn't mean she's going to cheat- clearly when she's horny she wants *him*, not some random guy, or she wouldn't have called
sotheresthisgirl 8
Did he file as sexual harassment complaint?
tacojauns 45
On saying the word horny?
botanistjessica 24
Maybe she thought she was turning into a rhino...you know...just throwing it out there... yeah.
sotheresthisgirl 8
Ya... I thumbed my comment down too.
usrtrn 5
break time?!!
delaneyluke 5
and u shouldve continued with 'I'm sorry, but I'm busy at work so I can't help u there' ...... to boss ' as I was saying .....'
swordidfate 13
or maybe just "and how does this concern me?"