Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. Halfway through he asked me what day it was. I told him, "Friday." He jumped up and ran over to the TV yelling, "Oh my God! Shark week is almost over!!" I was cock-blocked by the Discovery Channel. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. All of a sudden he jumped off of me, going "shit, shit!". Worried, i asked him what was wrong. He shouted "I forgot to set my TiVO!" FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. The TV was on with the volume low, as we had been too preoccupied to turn it off. All of a sudden, my boyfriend stopped mid-thrust. He was watching the TV. House MD was on. He'd stopped to watch the differential diagnosis. FML
Today, while at the beach, as a joke, I told my girlfriend that I was a shark. She then poked my eyes and punched me in the nose. When I started to get mad, she just shrugged and asked, "What? You're the one that wanted to be a shark. Don't you watch Shark Week?" FML
Today, I started my period almost a week earlier than I expected to. I also happened to be at the beach with a guy that I really liked when it started. He was the one who noticed, and he informed me by saying that we couldn't go back in the water or we would be eaten by sharks. FML
Today, I was on the webcam with my boyfriend. I could see that he was on the couch, and alone, so I took off my shirt and smiled, waiting to see his reaction. He smiled at me but then kept looking in another direction. I playfully asked "What's so distracting?" His answer: "History Channel". FML
Today, my boyfriend was watching TV, when we started getting frisky. I'd just started to give him a blowjob when he pushed me off and said, "Fun's over." Dragon Ball Z had just come back on. He's 21. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. After about 10 minutes, while we changed positions, he shouts, "Power Rangers - It's Morphin' Time!" FML
Today, I was watching TV with my husband, and he started getting frisky. When the commercial break started, we started having sex. When he came, there were still two commercials left before the show resumed. FML
Today, while sitting on the couch, my boyfriend came over, pulled his penis out of his fly, and started stabbing me in the face with it while humming the Jaws theme. FML
Today, things were getting heated between me and the guy I like, and we were about to have sex. I told him to turn the TV off so we can get started. His response? "But I like this show." FML
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Top comments
calcboi 0
Sharks: 1 You: 0 Discovery Channel FTW!
something41 0
I'd do the same thing he did. But still, that sucks.
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Comments (228)
something41 0
I'd do the same thing he did. But still, that sucks.
genius_man16 1
So is "having sex" like actual penetration? Cuz technically "****-blocked" means you didn't get any at all, but you said you were already having sex so... This FML confuses me, but your BF is an idiot. TiVo the ******* show and have sex with your girl. You should totally dump him, I hate all these FML's where people stop having sex to watch a stupid show, I mean what is wrong with you people? He must be gay.
letitbe56 0
Well, it doesn't say the OP is female. Maybe they're both gay.
littlegolferboy 4
#12 is a moron. No one in their right mind would TiVo shark week if they could be watching it right now!
KumoFF7 3
Wow i'm sick of all theses FML's of couples having sex and then the boyfriend doing something completely off in the middle of sex. This is like the 10th one I've seen this week. YDI just for posting this, get some originality.
KumoFF7 3
epicFAIL_Sometim 0
YDI for dating a guy with a television.
arsewipe92 0
You would? Really? Having sex is just that boring now, huh? What has this world come to. And to the OP, that sux, maybe you need to be better.
genius_man16 1
Touche #14, touche
USMC_Marine 0
I would do the same. NOTHING IS MORE IMPORTENT THAN SHARK WEEK!
dusty1030 0
I like how sex is rated so highly on the to do list. Honestly shark week is bad ass. You can have sex any time, also i believe its twat blocked. Guys get **** blocked, ladies get twat blocked.
eleutheros 3
Who says OP has a ******??
ElysianPirate 0
Well, to get **** blocked you have to have a **** so either he is gay or someone is just dumb :/
strangersdk 0
hey OP, just so you know, ****-block does not work in that direction. Only males can get ****-blocked, though i believe the appropriate term used here would be 'twat-swatted' (copyright dane cook?).
ReasonsToFly 0
Maybe OP meant the TV blocked his **** from entering her ******. Also, fur friday.
sockmonkey560 0
i totatally agree. all the people on fml are like oh i didnt get to hav sex cuz of this...like who cares. and yea shark week is the best
I_GET_ASS 0
YDI for not giving him head while he watches Shark Week. then everyone would be happy. fool, i should have watched more shark week i am sad I GET ASS!
Hich17 0
Guys. It's Massachusetts. Long-explanation-short, I think "****-blocked" IS the proper term.
dfwtx 0
Shark week is the best thing ever!!
EmyRosa 0
Shark Week is the ******* shit! I would've done the same :D YDI for forgetting it was Shark Week
Bllasae 0
Has to be right. Women can't get ****-blocked.
Black_noise09 0
Actually, I'm pretty sure you can only get ****-blocked if you have a ****...A women would be pussy-blocked. As in, "I was totally going to get laid last night, but Shark Week pussy-blocked me." Similarly, straight men aren't **** teases, they're pussy teases, etc.
sharkshaveteeth 0
Agreed!!!!
winterharte 0
@ #12 - I hope to god that was sarcasm, because why would you even think about tv while you're GETTING LAID? Stupid people need to get their priorities straight xD
AgentEmokins 0
Well WTF? I'm a nerd and I don't get squat! Be grateful for your sex. .....But don't forget to tape shark week though.
Daft_Punk709 0
Just continue having sex while he's learning about sharks...
mackieflann 3
dude yeah "**** blocked" means he's a guy there both gay!
thatonek1d 0
82: a twat is a pregnant goldfish
darkerkiller89 0
twat swatted my friend
kissa148 3
hahaha, shark week is very important.
kewlcat 0
it is ! shark week is the best week of the year. "lotz of sharkz n stuf"
SilenceIsSilver 0
Yep. And at least he wasn't saying "Oh my god! Manswers is on!" That show has boobies in it. o:
spaerro 8
awww that's cute, your bf must be smart :3
calcboi 0
Sharks: 1 You: 0 Discovery Channel FTW!
Blue_Coconuts 7
It's the raw power.
biwinning88 1
shark week trumps EVERYTHING
yanni222 0
Lol, thats pretty damn funny. Also, im surprised that the first two people that posted comments didn't type "heh heh FIRST"
_BedSpread 0
LMFAO. Yes, Shark Week is something no normal person could resist. I feel bad for you though, FYL.
uneekfreak16 0
I thought only guys got ****-blocked... or is it actually a term for both genders? I guess you could also be gay it doesn't say you're female. Either way, that's hilarious :) Shark week!
Sirducki 0
How about a gay partner or is that to much for you?
eliz3 0
Did you even bother reading it? They mentioned the possibilty of being gay so calm the **** down.
sockmonkey560 0
ya honestly he said that the op could be gay so calm down crazy
Takaska 0
The OP might be a guy. And the proper term for when ****-blocking happens to a girl is "Twat- Swatting"- Courtesy of Dane Cook ;)
fxdxhk90 0
At least it wasn't the Disney channel. Besides, shark week is awesome. And if you are a woman, the term you're looking for is "twat blocked".
Zakky_Ketchup 0
Or blue ovaried.
DameGreyWulf 1
TV killed the **** star.
Sidneh 0
I read this before on FML. So you're not the only one :D Don't feel bad.
skinrider05 0
oh my god i love shark week!!!!