Today, I gave my boyfriend a blowjob for the first time. This is the moment he chooses to exclaim, "Wow, you really do have a lot of dandruff!" FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I kissed my gorgeous new boyfriend for the first time. I ran my hands through his hair; a multitude of dandruff rained out and five lice crawled onto my hand. FML
Today, I gave my boyfriend a blowjob for the first time. He came. A lot. I doubt I'll remember it as anything other than, "The day I found out what sneezing semen feels like." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were messing around in his car. I then decided I was going to give him a blowjob for the first time. As I was going down, he grabbed my chin and said, "Don't do that, your mouth isn't clean enough." FML
Today, I told my boyfriend of two years that he was my first kiss. His reply? I was the first person he ever whacked off to. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He responded by asking for a blowjob. FML
Today, I finally felt ready to give my boyfriend a blowjob. Barely 20 seconds in, he said: "I'll be honest, this is TERRIBLE." FML
Today, I was giving my boyfriend a handjob for the first time. It took ages for him to get excited, and in the end the only thing that blew up was him, saying, "Oh my god, just stop it already." FML
Today, my boyfriend wanted a blowjob, shortly after we've started dating. He said to be careful because he blows a massive load. Thinking he's full of crap, I rolled my eyes and got to work. Had him going and then a massive load shot down my throat and a bunch of fire hoses sprayed out my nose. It burned so bad. FML
Today, my boyfriend actually remembered our anniversary. Not our anniversary of being together, which he forgot last month, but the anniversary of him getting his first blowjob from me. FML
Today, I woke up to my boyfriend repeatedly whispering in my ear, "You want to give me a blowjob". Yes, he actually thought it would work. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
TraceCase_ 19
Guess the next time he's looking for a BJ, you're gonna be busy washing your hair. Seriously though...try some Head and Shoulders
a_cassie 4
that's kind of awkward
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (268)
demolitionloverf 0
first
IndianRapper 0
good job.
SkoalThugz 0
virgin
dirtyblond 4
Head & Shoulders!;D
TrolliePollie 0
hehe heads....
eyez_lay_low1921 0
iagree with 9.! lol
eyez_lay_low1921 0
eww' u NASTY!
dre_bro11 12
Knees and toes :L
AsianCookie247 14
knees and toes! :)
mozeltov 7
pudding
lerouxmaster 7
Knee and toes !
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
Eyes and ears! :D
Livinia 11
mouth and nose (:
staceysgenesis16 0
HAHA heads n shoulders !! lmao thats a win
dre_bro11 12
66, 68, something different, that's what I like.
Captain_Zorro 7
C C C COMBO BREAKER!!!!!!!
Monstee 2
How do you give shoulders?
RunnerDudeTyler 0
104 Idk how someone would give shoulders but I'd like the toes! xD
stilldrunk88 6
You should said he also had dandruff but down there.
dolphincheddar 10
you attempt to pleasure him using your shoulders. if anybody could successfully do that I'd be impressed
weird_little_kid 0
Heart and Lungs lol
lerouxmaster 7
Blood and guts !
sloppyflow 1
shut and up
dirtyblond 4
hahaha WIN!^
mozeltov 7
your name confuses me dirtyblond seeing as you aren't blond, whats up with that?
4XxXo_OxXx4 0
rofl! screamo ftw (I'm bored and profile stalking)
dirtyblond 4
It is what it is! My hair color is dirty-blond. -____- geezes!
AkuskaUK 6
your picture is amazing!
AsianCookie247 14
haha so is yours ^ I like the way you hold your pussaayy.
dre_bro11 12
125, 'crabs' is the word you're looking for.
misfitSuperStar 0
188- HILARIOUS!!!! LMAO!!
Cavelallemant 0
xD I'm gonna die bahahaha
a_cassie 4
that's kind of awkward
marriiee_fml 0
kind of?
kalixzo 11
use shampoo
kalixzo 11
use shampoo
dolphincheddar 10
just say. hey I thought it'd be fun to roleplay. I'll be a snow blower!
freeport76 4
hahaha
KaitlynJohan 4
SUPER WIN !
Swiftly 0
Head and shoulders lol
eminemXshady 0
lol...
ImaWiseGuy 5
something tells me you finished anyways.....
nitaaxboo 0
lmfao that's funny
Haydenrw93 0
bahahahahaha guess that.... sucks for you :P
mintcar 10
YDI for flaking. Although, he probably should've mentioned it AFTER the ********.
imreallyhigh 0
is this jasmine?
mintcar 10
??
explodingmuffint 0
no that's a **** :o
xX_rawr_KiTTiEXx 0
haha^ 137 you own. x)
Alex94xela 0
LOLOLOLOL guy who said **** is a winning
Pretty_reckless_fml 18
^ yeah it was a win ^_^ btw, having your fml name as "exploding muff" is a really wierd to be totally honest dude :L :L <3
mintcar 10
Wow, how creative. Pardon me while I go sit in the corner and weep.
A7X_LoVeee 10
How is she a ****? You all are ******* stupid.
mintcar 10
LULZ, 166 is showing cleavage also but she wanted to be an idiot and jump on the " lololololol ur such a **** mintcar" bandwagon. How lovely. 175, I agree.
misfitSuperStar 0
And it must have been a bad ********. Otherwise, he wouldn't have said anything until afterwards.
maskedman 9
The silver lining is that if you do a good job down there he can add some protein to your hair. It makes your hair strong…and sticky.
SkoalThugz 0
the white lining actually
EddieBlake 0
^
kaykay9080 5
Fhl for having a girlfriend with bad hair.
EddieBlake 0
lawl
palan 0
dochébag no one has bad hair she should just get new shampoo and ... a new boyfriend
5t3ff1k4h 47
Since dandruff has to do with the scalp and not the hair, and it's easily fixable, she does not have 'bad hair'.
ChibiGirl5 0
fyl for having such a scary picture
stephanie911_fml 0
89; fyl for being 12.
JustDoctor 0
98 fyl for not knowing how to count or 89 fyl for editing your birthday
mazesm 11
11, Wow, nice fake nose piercing. It's quite obvious because it's uneven.
SceneRaver 0
haha! your nose piercing looks like shit!!!
milkteaz 0
win^
immints 0
^ hot
KinqLeo610 0
well that just means she aint clean for shit
TraceCase_ 19
Guess the next time he's looking for a BJ, you're gonna be busy washing your hair. Seriously though...try some Head and Shoulders
smellyturkey 0
Amen!! Sucks for him! Or really doesn't :) lol
mk58 31
You read my mind, I was just about to suggest that!
CardMaster1992 0
she already tried the head, now just the shoulders. lol
vfs_fml 0
LMFAOO!!
Devin91 20
thats dirty , fhl for having a nasty girl.
A7X_LoVeee 10
^ Winning.
Devin91 20
learn how to take a ******* joke you prick.
TrueStory22 0
I thought jokes are supposed to be funny..?
illmatic2 16
71- Not all of them are, obviously. But when someone takes them too seriously, it can make them look even less funny.
ILoveEggnog 7
That was a joke? I think I missed the punch line.
Devin91 20
not all jokes have punchlines there's this thing called sarcasm ever heard of it?
ChibiGirl5 0
your just saying that now cause ppl are bitching to you
esu 5
^ hah nice
dirtyblond 4
It's okay, he has nice abs.
ILoveEggnog 7
You're saying we can do whatever we want if we're good looking?
Devin91 20
i highly doubt she was being serious.
staceysgenesis16 0
mmm a discussion about jokes .. AWSOME .. hmm
dirtyblond 4
No 129, i was kidding!
Paigeyk 3
Its not dirty she just has a dry scalp, shit happens.
MissBunny25 0
all of y'all just need to take some midol. clearly several of you need it.
immints 0
**** you ppl. dry scalp is nasty.. take care of it before going down. your all just mad the guy is deezed. no ****
MuffyStJacques 0
Must've been like looking down onto a mountain top.
natas_fml 13
spoooogett! I got ya, I spooked ya.
Lala7261 0
lol. with snow covered tops.