Today, my boyfriend and I were kissing. Halfway through the kiss, he rubs his tongue along all my teeth and says, "You need to brush your teeth." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend and I were making out when I asked him to go brush his teeth, since his breath stank. He went back to playing video games. FML
Today, I was feeling a bit randy, so when my boyfriend got home, I jumped on him and gave him a proper deep-tongue kiss. I noticed he tasted a bit weird, so I asked him when he last brushed his teeth. His answer: the day we had dinner with his mother. That was two weeks ago. FML
Today, my boyfriend admitted that he stopped brushing his teeth two days after we started dating. Tomorrow is our 2 year anniversary. FML
Today, my girlfriend got pissed when I told her she needed to brush her teeth more than once a day. I could smell her breath from across the bed. FML
Today, my boyfriend complained that I "treat him like a child" by asking him if he’s brushed his teeth before we kiss. Gee maybe if he brushed regularly like a fucking adult, I wouldn’t HAVE to ask. FML
Today, I’ve discovered that even if he brushes his teeth for 10 minutes straight, flosses, and rinses with mouthwash, my boyfriend’s breath still smells like a cross between sewage and rotting fish. I’m running out of excuses for not kissing him. FML
Today, my boyfriend confessed that after every fight we have, he dips my toothbrush in the toilet. FML
Today, my girlfriend complained that I don't kiss her often enough. The problem is her breath. It's disgusting. I gently answered, "Well, you don't kiss me often either." Now she keeps kissing me. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling on the couch. He held a Kool Fruit in his teeth, and motioned for me to kiss him, so he could put it in my mouth. Just as he was about to do this, I inhaled. He then had to watch me dry retching, trying to get it back up. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were making out, holding hands, and he was playing with a strand of my hair. I thought the whole thing was very romantic. He then said he loved how my mouth tasted like bacon. FML
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Top comments
Mischief109 11
What I'm wondering is why did you make out without brushing your teeth first?!
EvilTwerp 12
Maybe you should brush your teeth. Not everyone likes to be disgusting.
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Comments (91)
SkoomaKi 28
Well kissing helps.
Mischief109 11
What I'm wondering is why did you make out without brushing your teeth first?!
swimchick7 1
Maybe it was spontaneous...
spekledworf 18
You can floss your teeth with his pubes
Maddidaddi 0
If it was in the morning, before op brushed her teeth, he shouldn't have been a dick. If it was midday, she needs to chew some gum. If it were at night, she should've brushed again.
Byahhh 3
Give credit to your boyfriend for not throwing up...
patrickalamo 48
Where did it say she didn't brush her teeth? A comment is not a fact.
FifBowie 0
Seriously, who rubs his tongue along his girlfriend teeth ? Dude you're as disgusting as her :p
beastmode661 4
She needs to brush not floss
Mischief109 11
Normally the feeling of brushed teeth lasts all day. At least for me it does.
iHateThisNThat 6
this needs to be the best comment
Wicked361 8
Dirty mouth? Get Orbit for a quick clean feeling. No matter what. :D
truth_spitta 0
73, when you're making out...in my experience, you tend to just do stuff just to try it and everybody(couple) does and enjoys different things, for example...as gross as this might sound to some people, some people enjoy anal stimulation during sex. While you mind find that gross some people enjoy it.
mekaylahm 0
What's wrong with you
mango260 9
I read 99's comment in the ladys accent like on the commercial. >.
efemel94 7
French kissing.... With the added authenticity of the taste of onions and garlic.
efemel94 7
French kissing... with the added authenticity of the taste of onion and garlic.
cassi135t 1
Ohhh yes, cause they'll be about to kiss and then she'll say, "Wait. Hold up. I. Gotta. Brush. My. Freakin. Teeth. Whoa man."
shjenn 7
why the hell would he rub his tongue on her teeth anyways? I'd be pissed if my boyfriend did that... and clearly you need to brush your teeth. Ew
downtime 13
You would be pissed off with some goofing around? Kissing must be serious business for you. I imagine if he puts a foot wrong in sex he has to walk the plank...
AKGirlinSD 20
2, I'm guessing it was a spur-of-the-moment. If I was the original poster, I would have said, "It feels like you just did."
EvilTwerp 12
Maybe you should brush your teeth. Not everyone likes to be disgusting.
ALpein 0
Idk man, not brushing is one thing but running your tongue over said teeth purposely after figuring out she doesn't is another.
ant1ion 12
He must be a dentist lol he was just checking if she brushes
FYLinAmajorWay 1
What I want to know is, Doesn't anybody else find it weird that he would run his tongue back and forth across her teeth? I don't know maybe it's just me but if I was making out with a girl and she just randomly decided to tongue all my teeth, I'd be feeling a little awkward...
EvilTwerp 12
Who says he runs his tongue over her teeth? If her breath is bad, which you can taste, then she probably didn't brush.
soccergurrll 8
Oh how romantic. OP: *kiss* BF: *runs tongue along teeth* babe, you need to brush your teeth. OP: moment ruined.
EvilTwerp 12
76- I feel the utmost stupidity raining down on me.
Mischief109 11
133- I'm so confused by your comments. You were the original commenter saying she should brush her teeth and then you said who ever said she didn't brush her teeth. Am I the only one who caught this?
Mischief109 11
I take away my second comment. I must've been half asleep when I wrote that ha. Thanks for correcting me :)
Abbeygale 8
43 - you may want to consider getting a new dentist if that's how yours checks if you've brushed your teeth...
TEXASDude45 5
I'm hungry now?
Hiimhaileypotter 53
That's nasty.
TEXASDude45 5
Wait.. So you guys don't like plaque and leftover food as a snack? Weird...
2ndSucks 15
Just quit while you're not too far behind, pal.
LoveMyKoolaid 0
Almost as delicious as Koolaid!
MizzKilljoy69 11
50- I hope you said that in a Cleveland voice
IW_RIOT 7
It's clearly a joke
nevershoutkendal_fml 11
Lighten up, you guys. Sheeez...
DontModMeDammit 10
Can't blame him, he wasn't probably wasn't in the mood for left overs.
DontModMeDammit 10
Forget that extra wasn't.
alexup24 13
5- thank you for making me gag
Kenton1008 21
22: Your profile picture works perfectly with your comment. :D
AliceeH 5
That's gross, well maybe next time you actually should..
mvems 13
Dirty mouth? Clean it up with Orbit. A good clean feeling. No matter what.
evildemonchild 18
Win! xD
WCARlover 35
mmmm I'm sure that put you both in the mood!
hockeyoceancity 13
You forgot to add, "to go brush your teeth" it's okay fixed it for you.
onlychildFTW 34
Haha yeah who wouldn't be turned on by gross food in someone else teeth?
SkoomaKi 28
Damn cheese and onion crisps. Apparently kissing helps with cleaning teeth. The bacteria from his mouth will go into yours and, in theory, help with stopping plaque build up.
SecretMe00 5
Seriously? Never knew that.
SkoomaKi 28
I bullshit you not. Search it up for proof ^.^
sparkrok 8
how do you know that it was only half way through the kiss?
WCARlover 35
with a comment like OPs boyfriend made, I would think that would be the end of the kiss lol
Harpy20 24
"cover me! I'm going in!" -mouth condom-
JoeRogansBEARD 15
Tongue condom sounds better:p
dabob 2
he can tell you need to brush your teeth by using his tongue? that's awesome!
happle 21
There are these cool things on his tongue called taste buds...