Today, my boyfriend and I were messing around in his car. I then decided I was going to give him a blowjob for the first time. As I was going down, he grabbed my chin and said, "Don't do that, your mouth isn't clean enough." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, after going down on my boyfriend, we were cuddling and I went to kiss him. Just before I could reach his lips, he ran his finger over my mouth and whispered, "S-s-s-semen." FML
Today, I was giving my boyfriend a long blowjob and had to pause for a minute because my mouth became exceedingly dry. His solution? Spit directly in my mouth. FML
Today, I asked my boyfriend if he could finally go down on me. He said, "No, that's disgusting" and then asked me for a blowjob. FML
Today, my boyfriend was making salsa and got jalepeno juice all over his mouth. A little bit later, he started going down me. He hadn't washed his mouth. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were kissing. Halfway through the kiss, he rubs his tongue along all my teeth and says, "You need to brush your teeth." FML
Today, I gave my boyfriend a blowjob for the first time. This is the moment he chooses to exclaim, "Wow, you really do have a lot of dandruff!" FML
Today, I was giving my boyfriend a blow job. I thought it was going great and I was doing a good job, until he told me to "stop chomping on it like it's a hot dog." FML
Today, I finally felt ready to give my boyfriend a blowjob. Barely 20 seconds in, he said: "I'll be honest, this is TERRIBLE." FML
Today, I tried to tease my boyfriend by pulling my skirt up, bending over, and backing up into him. He gagged and said, "Please, wash your ass." FML
Today, I was getting dirty with my boyfriend. It was the first time he had fingered anyone, and the only thing he said was, "It feels like the inside of my asshole." FML
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Top comments
escape2music 0
try brushing your teeth?
OneandOnlyOne 0
Never ever offer to do it again. If he hints that he wants one, tell him his penis isn't clean enough for your mouth. He sounds like a REAL moron!
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Comments (85)
LadyAlathia 0
Am I the only one that thinks this might be a cover for him actually *not enjoying* oral sex? I mean, it's not everyone's cup of tea, but there's this huge societal expectation for people (and men in general) to obsess over ********. I can definitely understand why he'd want to hide the fact that he's NOT into oral. Maybe the idea of blowing his load in the same place he puts his tongue isn't his idea of a good time. Maybe he just doesn't like how it feels. Maybe he's a germophobe. Maybe he thinks oral sex is degrading to his partner. All of these are feasible option.
sockmonkey560 0
ya they are; i agree. this is not a fyl its a ydi or a who cares. just wash ur mouth...or dont do oral w/ him cuz he doesnt like it.
sorini 0
You're right mate. Everyone has diffrent tastes. ^^
luvluv_fml 0
break up with him, and come over my room, maybe i let you blow my dick, after you had brushed your teeth
sockmonkey560 0
haha thats funny! well, oral is disgusting anyway so ydi.
marcyang 5
I would never say no to a bj.
KevinC69 0
He probably has fordyce spots. Ask him about it.
nanoflacka 0
You should have said "and you think your dick is any better?!"
YummyumCum 0
haha i like #21 lol same blow me away~ lol btw dump that fawker
guyFromMiami 0
hellooo! havent you ever thought maybe his dick was dirty? or he had done something with someone else and didnt want to feel guilty for allowing you to do that without him cleaning the damn thing?!
MCofpwnage 0
fml deleted my comment, so i say it a again: God DAMN, we don't want your ******* racism here, knight
fmh123 0
wow thats pretty weird. either your boyfriend is a serious asshole or yea you must have a gross mouth