Today, I woke up naked next to my gay roommate after a night of drinking. Neither he nor I remember anything. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I woke up next to my best friend after lots of drinking and the best sex I've ever had in my life. The only problem is we're both straight males. FML
Today, I woke up, completely naked, in bed with a guy I met the night before. We were both drunk the night before and I had agreed to go home with him. The reason I woke up was that someone was knocking on his bedroom door. Turns out he lives with his mom and she made us pancakes. FML
Today, I woke up naked in my best friend's roommate's bed. We had sex and I puked on the bed. My first sex in over a year and I don't remember a thing. FML
Today, after a night of drinking, I awoke in the early hours of the morning to a sight of my roommate playing with my penis. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were drinking wine naked after sex. He went to get another glass, but on the way back tripped and fell flat on his face. His roommate unexpectedly came home, saw him face-down on the floor, thought I'd drugged him and tackled me before I could explain. FML
Today, I woke up to a strange wetness covering my body. My drunk roommate's urine. FML
Today, I woke up naked, duck-taped to the wall, with no memory of last night. FML
Today, I woke up from a night of crazy drunken sex with a guy I had met at a friends 23rd birthday party. The lights had been off when we had stumbled in to his house the night before. When I opened my eyes today, the first thing I saw was his family picture, complete with his wife and son. FML
Today, I woke up in my roommate's bed. Apparently, the previous night I sleep-walked into her room, layed on her bed, and fell asleep. In the middle of her and her boyfriend having sex. He's now going around saying he slept with both of us. FML
Today, I woke up in bed with a one-night stand. We got really drunk the night before so I went to make a hangover-cure breakfast. Apparently he was so drunk that he didn't remember me, and when he came to the kitchen, he knocked me out with a pan and called the cops. FML
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Top comments
ThatsHowItsDoneS 2
That's a pain in the ass isn't it
dansythomas 6
You're ******
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Comments (260)
dansythomas 6
You're ******
Harpy20 24
Well a slight case of 'poop noodles' is better than finding out you were the bottom. If your ass doesn't feel weird, it's probably a good idea to NOT look down when you take your first piss. True story. [Just noticed I may know a little too much about these things despite not being a gay dude...] I really hope this is all on Urban dictionary. Then I won't seem like so much of a freak.
thejewishfuhrer 17
#YOLO
RadikulRam 16
#16 I don't think #1 asked. Scroll down to use the comment box.
TellMeWhatsDeath 14
24- Please go and fall off a bridge or something..okay thanks..
SApprentice 34
16- I can't believe you actually just used the term 'poop noodles,' that's disgusting.
172pilot 20
Or the chance the gay room mate does remember quite a bit and is just not gonna tell OP
xcrazymonkey32x 0
The roommate may be playing a joke on OP to freak him out. OP falls down stairs passes out in wrong bed...gay troll mode activated...or cowboy butt sex
patacus 14
@24, #GTFO
kewlkate 9
More like "You f*cked"
diegoer 10
Or "You were f*cked" lol!
kyarush 10
As long as your ass doesn't hurt you should be okay.
Futacy 30
Doesn't matter, had sex... maybe.
WhoIsThe 7
As far as you know OP..
JustDerpin 11
OP's roommate is probably lying about forgetting
s15c 9
Being drunk only makes you do things you already wanted to do.
EmoSquirrel 7
Shouldn't that be past tense? "You were ******." ;)
Kristabug91 1
Hahaha
DrAtomic 0
"Mike? Why do I feel something hard picking my side?"
Miaku 11
Punpunpunpunpun :D
Smilebeautiful26 9
That's what I was thinking. He may remember it all but isn't gonna make everything awkward by admitting it
briod 8
literally
ThatsHowItsDoneS 2
That's a pain in the ass isn't it
ThePsyche 9
I'm pretty sure op figured that one out when he had to poop when he woke up.
dwcomposer 4
I see what you did there
westcoastkp 13
I feel like Op is a girl...
andrew6p 19
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
54, if op was a girl he wouldn't care if he woke up next to his roommate. Think twice and read twice b4 writing. Anw ouch OP, ask how your roommate's ass feels if its not u who has been ******. Shit happens. The best thing to do is to forge about it and pretend it never happened
onlychildFTW 34
Who's ever ass hurts means the bottomed. Pretty obvious. But if neither does there's the possibility nothing happened other the just being in the same bed. Not remembering doesn't mean you guys had sex.
ohmandapants 17
65- I think you should follow your own advice. Think twice before writing. And by the way, if OP was a girl, I'm pretty sure SHE would still care if SHE woke up next to HER naked roommate, gay or not.
MegaFun_fml 6
73 has a point. If OP was a girl, she'd still be concerned if she woke up NAKED next to another NAKED person without remembering anything.
dinorider_fml 4
A couple FMLs down, OP commented, and according to her profile she's a girl
Justy101 23
65 - I think it would be even more awkward/funny if OP was a girl.
Kristabug91 1
True dat haha
sacmaster 11
Pain in the ass or poop in the penis! :)
luminos77 3
A guy that has never had anal wouldn't be able to fit a **** in without screaming in absolute pain. There's no way he had anal. Now if he gave anal, that's different.
YoTengoTomatoes 7
Actually op is a girl. In her profile it says "misses" in the title area.
399 41
Good one #2 :)
itsameally 2
U and him should never speak of it again like it never happened......
Hairnomore 7
Him*
TBelle4Ever 15
You*
SpicyDuck 22
What if it was amazing?
ABrokenHeart 11
Nobody remembers it so they dont know if it was amazing.
functional 13
Actually, it's not even "him" it's "he," because "he" is one of the people performing that sentence's verb.
pil_84 9
Does it hurt to sit?
flutter4 7
That's one way to find out what happened.
jnaust 8
You forgot the h after the s
rivaraven 35
Maybe his roommate is the one who got it all inside him? :)
gc327072 31
Talk about surprise 69
larouche362 10
130 A surprise negative 2
gc327072 31
163- says someone with -2 votes.....
SystemofaBlink41 27
175- -5 *
IsisChaos 1
-4*
Lucia_Malpense 14
Ask your friends. Maybe they know something, from a drunken call maybe.
Hiimhaileypotter 53
"Hey there friend, just wanna let you know I'm gonna have gay sex with my roommate now... Okay bye!" Haha.
Harpy20 24
Do you feel like if the moment arose you wouldn't even know you had to hit the toilet? If so, it was probably surprise buttsecks.
PYLrulz 17
Speaking from experience?!?
DomAce 4
What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas
flutter4 7
What happens with your gay roommate stays with your gay roommate
Pretty_Pink_Lady 10
Except herpes. That shit stays with you.
perdix 31
#19, wrong preposition. What happens IN your gay roommate stays IN your gay roommate. YWIA.
marmlr339 14
It was Illinois ...
perdix 31
#47, no, it was in one of their assholes. Maybe both.
Werken247 14
Keep your chin up, trash that used condom, and suck it up... oh nevermind... you already did that last part.
kamikrazy 6
The roommate played it off that he doesn't remember any of it.
darkgodxvx 4
83 - That's clearly it. I thought the same thing.
kimg0885 23
Hmm .....this causes me to wonder what you look like from behind? Sorry op.
aruges93 12
Ur picture is funny cause u say I'm wondering what u look like from behind and ur picture is shrugging haha hilarious
zombiekitten87 12
Hahaha that's kinda awkward...